Apologies for no ANTM recap this week. Our resident expert Rich is in Puerto Vallarta sipping on some margaritas and conducting his own gay “Easter Egg Hunt” *wink*. It’s a good thing he missed last night’s show because it would’ve driven him crazy, specifically Tyra. She was in fine form with her over-the-top’ness and indulgent tutorials. Really, did we need a master class on all the various types of booty tooching. That said, at least I now know the international sign language for “smizing“. You never know when that’s going to come in handy.
I half debated doing a recap, Rich even asked me to, but I know I couldn’t even come close to his fiercely real intoxibella powers of recapping. He is pretty awesome at doing them. We need to think of an intoxibella name for him. That said, I had titles for my potential recap all raring to go including, “It’s All Fun And Games Til A Teddy Bear Loses Its Ear” or “No Booty Tooching For You“. Instead of a recap, I’m going to combine my thoughts on last night’s episode with my weekly preview pics for next week’s. So, here goes nothing…
Spice Girls, Destiny’s Child, Pussycat Dolls, Girls Aloud. Who does girl groups better, the Brits or the Yanks? I’m sure we’ll find out on the next episode of “America’s Next Top Model“. For next week’s challenge, the girls are divided into two teams to create and record music videos. On paper, you’d think the US girls have the upper hand. But as witnessed in the All-Stars cycle, you can never count anyone out. Who knew Allison Harvard would produce a killer creepy video? Boy, was Lisa D’Amato pissed.
Fittingly enough, joining the judging panel this week are Jessica Sutta and Nadine Coyle from the Pussycat Dolls and Girls Aloud respectively. I have no doubt both ladies will dole out sage girl group advice, especially my girl Sutta. Love that woman. Also handing out her expertise will be Tyra Banks. Judging from the preview photos, she’ll be joining them in the dance studio. We all know Tyra has an extensive background in singing and dancing, right? Can’t wait for this episode which will undoubtedly provide a lot of laughs. Catch a few pics of the girls getting their groove on below.
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant finally delivered a proper photoshoot that let us see which models were really starting to pull away and which were soon to be cannon fodder. AzMarie and Laura seem to the frontrunners for Team Yank while Catherine and Sophie are leading the charge for Team Brit. Unfortunately, we did have to endure another challenge about branding because as we all know being America’s Next Top Model isn’t about modeling, it’s about being a ridiculous brand. Ahem Angelea. Ahem Lisa. Thankfully, Candace and her forced lip pout were sent packing. And this week, the wannabes are off to CANADA for Toronto Fashion Week. Welcome to the land of beavers ladies! How many god-awful Canadian stereotypes will be thrown in our faces? Will Tyrant end every sentence in “eh”? Only 10 girls are left. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Okay second paragraph is all ‘bout Canada tonight. For you American readers, here are some things you need to know about this Canadian. 1 – I do not say “aboot”. I’m from Vancouver; we talk like Californians, not Scottish/North Dakota hybrids. 2 – I do say “eh” and “sorry” WAY TO MUCH. Sometimes thank you and sorry come out in the same sentence. “Oh, excuse me, thanks, sorry”. 3 – I have never seen an igloo in person, but I did play hockey. 4 – I absolutely think curling is an awesome sport and more people should watch it on TV. 5 – I absolutely think Cary Rae Jepsen needs to be the next big Canadian artist to make it in the USA. “Call Me Maybe” is so the song of 2012. And yes, you should call me, maybe.
So long Candace, it was nice knowing you… SORTA. With habitually Angry Face eliminated, the girls head up North for Toronto Fashion Week. Candace must’ve been pissed when she found out she just missed out on a free trip to Canada. Oh well, I’m sure the ANTM production team brought back some maple syrup as a consolation prize.
In Toronto, the remaining ten girls go on casting calls to book modeling jobs. A go-see challenge already? Does this mean that some girls won’t participate in the runway shows? God, I hope so. This past week, the girls quickly turned on Kyle when she received positive feedback from the focus group. Can you just imagine the drama that will ensue from the girls who aren’t book? You have to check out the picture of AzMarie on the catwalk. Andro-Genia sure is looking like the one to beat this cycle. FIERCE.
For this week’s photo shoot, the girls wear foilage while being covered in maple syrup. Sounds like a sticky situation, right? Based on the final outcome, it was all worth it. The pictures are absolutely gorgeous. Check them out below. Joining the judging panel this week is model legend Beverly Johnson. This former supermodel was the first black woman to grace the cover of American Vogue back in 1974. Johnson made it on my Top 10 Black Supermodels list that I wrote a few years back. Definitely read it, if you haven’t done so already.
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the sh*t hit the fan. Seriously, what else can I say? I could go on about Tyrant’s ongoing attempts to brand the wannabes (this year as superheroes), or I could jump right into the crazy that was Louise losing it at panel, calling Kelly Cutrone rude and vice versa, freaking out in tears, storming out, and quitting. Her picture was gorgeous, but it wasn’t enough to shut the judges up so she tried to shut THEM up. It didn’t work. Louise’s sudden departure spared the rest of the girls from elimination and there was some serious crap to choose from. I’m looking at you Alisha and Eboni. So what drama awaits us tonight? Will we finally get a normal photo shoot with some actual quality? Will Tyrant give someone a lame speech about branding? Only 11 girls remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
So, the other day I was reading some interview Tyrant gave about how the character she portrays on ANTM is just a character and that she’s actually more like the person from her talk show. She wants to go back to the “magic” of Cycle 1 and pull back from her “character” that has developed over the last 18 Cycles. Interesting… right? I’ve been yelling at her for years… all the way back to Cycle 3 or 4 to do this! Is she finally listening? Did the Angelea debacle finally let her see the light? Did she read my article on how to make the show great again? I sure hope so! Read it here. Here’s another little thought for Tyrant to chew on… she, nor her character, are what makes this show great. The amazingness comes from modeling in interesting photo shoots and the models themselves.
Before I begin, I just wanted say a huge THANKS to Patrick for filling in and doing all the ANTM Preview Posts while I was on vacation. With that said, I’ve finally caught up on all the episodes of Cycle 18 aka “ANTM: British Invasion“.
While I’m growing tired of the whole US versus Britain thing, I’m liking this Cycle quite a bit. There are a few girls that I like and rooting for (AzMarie, Eboni, Catharine, Sophie and Ashley). Plus, Tyra finally granted Rich and my ultimate wish by letting the girls pick their best pic. How awesome was that to see after seventeen cycles? Another thing I love about this cycle is Kelly Cutrone. While she hasn’t exactly endeared herself to the girls or ANTM viewers, I personally love her and been a fan for years.. Sure, she’s tough but she knows what she’s talking about. I’d gladly fork over some cash for a dose of her tough love and life lessons. Sign me up.
On the next episode titled, “Jay Alexander“, the runway coach serves as guest judge and mentors the ladies on their sashaying skills. Snapping the girls for this week’s photo shoot is Nigel Barker. He’ll photograph the girls wearing British couture while posing in vintage American cars. Check out a few photos below and the entire set in our ANTM Cycle 18 Gallery.
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant continued her trip down patriotic lane with a delightful visit from some people who have something to do with the Kardashians. I’m still not quite sure who they were. She also delivered some SHAKEOVERS. These weren’t makeovers… or even the dreaded and lame TYOVERS. They were designed to be edgy and crazy… which in Tyrant’s mind means half the wannabes got cool looks and the other ones just got weaves. And, for the second week in a row, the producers, Tyrant, and the models all delivered a very mediocre photoshoot. We’re two for two in terms of lame pictures with bad styling. Ultimately, Mariah, aka Pocahontas, got the boot. Will Tyrant step up her game and come up with a good photoshoot? Will a British girl yell at an American girl? Will someone say ghetto? Only 12 girls remain… who will be eliminated tonight?
So did anybody watch Fashion Star this week? Kind of a cool premise eh? I love that they actually started selling some of the designs online right away. I love Elle Macpherson, but seriously… Nicole Richie and Jessica Simpson as “mentors”? WTF. They’ve got nothing on the contestants. So ridiculous. And then there’s this shit fest that is Project Runway All Stars. Ever since Rami left, there’s been no hotness, and somehow Mondo went from the coolest person ever to a dour and uninspiring bore. I hope we get Heidi back soon.
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant gave us the absolute debacle that was All Stars. What a train wreck. Allison lost twice… first to Trangelea and then to Pissa in a stunning reshoot of the finale. What a mess. Not even a hot mess. Just a mess. If she even mentions Tookie or Modelland in Cycle 18, I’ll lose it. So what does Miss Ego have in store for her loyal viewers (everyone else stopped watching when Whitney won) this Cycle? An old fashioned patriotic slug fest! It’s a British invasion. Seven former wannabes from BNTM will take on seven newbies from the good ol’ USA. I’ve never seen a single episode of the British version, so all of these girls get a fresh start with me. Also new this Cycle is Kelly Cutrone on the panel. Hopefully she’s got a spine and can stand up to Tyrant’s clumsy manipulations. Who will be the first to cry? Who will be the first to throw a fit? Who will have the best fake scream when Tyrant first walks in the room? Who will be eliminated tonight?
Welcome back peeps and welcome back to the delightfully off-topic second paragraph. To celebrate the start of a new Cycle, I’m only straying slightly off topic. I gotta give a shout out to fellow Homorazzi writer Donovan who did some amazing posts in between Cycles catching us up with former ANTM wannabes. Despite all our scathing hate for Tyrant, we still love the show, and every once and a while it actually leads to awesome careers for some of the girls… as long as they don’t win. Check out his Where Are They Know articles here to catch up with Lauren Brie, Katarzyna, Leslie, Fatima, Jane, Analeigh, and Raina. Snaps for Donovan!