tyra banks

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ANTM 13 Update: Mini Models and Media Whores

In: Rich, TV Shows
antm-cycle-13-lauren-conrad

Shit. I love Top Model, but sometimes I feel like Tyrant (AKA Tyra Banks) is determined to ruin the original concept. Recent cycles of America’s Next Top Model have been meek parodies of a once great show. Remember when it was actually about modeling? Remember when being “editorial” was actually a winnable trait? Sigh. Remember when Tyrant actually gave a shit about the show and actually participated in the process beyond the panel? Will Cycle 13 be doomed by Tyrant’s force fed artificial dramz or will she learn from the success of Mr. Jay’s latest Canada’s Next Top Model outing by going back to basics?

Sadly, it looks like Tyrant has chosen to keep moving the show further into the realm of bullshit. Cycle 13 doesn’t start until September 9, but we already know enough to worry. Firstly, the cast is made up of a bunch of mini models (5’7” and under) with zero chance of ever working a real runway. Secondly, she’s decided to bring in a couple of reality TV media whores into the mix as guest judges. WTF. What do Lauren Conrad and Kim Kardashian have to do with being a top model?

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Daily Gossip: Friday July 31, 2009

In: Celeb Gossip & News, Donovan
tyra-banks-gossip-girl

Tyrant Moves To The Upper East Side
Our favorite faux drag queen, Tyra Banks, makes her bootylicious way to the Upper East Side to guest star in an upcoming episode of Gossip Girl. Sources say that she’ll be filming scenes with Hilary Duff, who also joins the cast as a guest star this season. Tyra hasn’t had a straight-up acting role since guest starring in American Dreams in 2004. I wonder if Tyra will end up wearing Gossip Girl’s signature headbands that she often dogs when the ANTM models wear them at panel. Will she or won’t she? It’s the question all of America is waiting for. That and how badly she’ll suck in the episode. LOL. God, you gotta love Tyra and all her media-whore ways.

movie-theater-pee

Time Your Peeing Right
Ever been in a theatre watching a movie and then all of a sudden you have to PEE? What to do? You sit there, fidgeting and trying to hold those fluids in while waiting for a lull in the movie so you don’t miss anything integral. When you get back you ask the ever important “What did I miss?” question to your friend and they say, “We just found out Darth Vader is Luke’s father”. To which you reply, “Oh SHIZZ”. To avoid this problem from ever occurring again, a site (http://www.RunPee.com) was created to help with this anxious guess work. The site tells you how long you’ve got and even summarizes what you’ve missed. The site which was launched last year even has a convenient iPhone app as well. The 42 year old creator, Dan Florio, got the brilliant idea while watching the three hour plus “King Kong” remake in 2005. Is a site like this useful or just a fun gimmicky distraction? If I had to pee, I think I’d waste time looking at my iPhone app to see when I can pee but hey that’s just me. I’m funny that way.

Click for more: Oprah’s Bomb Scare, Seinfeld Reunion, Black Eyed Peas Breaks Record

canadas-next-top-model-judges

Wannabe on top? I know Adam gave it a try for Vancouver’s Next Gay Top Model, but the real wannabes take over our screens on CTV May 26th. Mark your calendars because Canada’s Next Top Model is back for cycle 3!

I don’t know about you but I LOVE the catfights almost as much as the catwalks. And the best part is NO TYRA! Seriously, I can’t stand her. She’s so over the top look at me and my guide to inner fierceness bull shit. More modeling, less TYRANT. Cannot wait for this new cycle to begin! And what makes it even more must-see TV? Mike Ruiz, woofy photographer and Canadian sandwich extraordinaire has been added to the panel of judges. Nigel Barker, you just got owned!

Today, the cast list got leaked. I think I’m going to root for Ebonie because her mamma can spell.

Check out the rest of the wannabe models

I Only Have One Photo In My Hand…

In: Behind The Cast, Patrick, The Arts
gtmtitle

They’ve had various photo shoots, live events, and eliminations; it’s now down to the final 9, and our very own Adam is one of the finalists! This is the 2nd Annual, Vancouver’s Next Gay Top Model, and last year’s winner- Aaron Ursacki- will be passing on his title (his tiara- let’s call it what it is!) Thursday, April 2nd at the Grand Finale at Celebrities Night Club.  

Now, for a moment, let’s pretend I’m Tyra [insert dream music- fade to...]

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antm-12-1-ring-rosie Just google ANTM recaps and you’ll get pages and pages of results.  What makes our recap more unique? The quick answer… hopefully a lot of things.  For starters, I know we all sit at home judging Miss Banks and her craziness and yell at those amateur models who don’t know broken down doll.  I mean it’s Cycle 12 people.  Research. Research. Research.  So we’re going to put our money where our mouth is and try to emulate some of the best photos with our spin on it.  Obviously we don’t have the locations, resources and money that BANKABLE & The CW have but we’ll try our best.  So here goes nothing.

During last week’s episode, we saw the self-proclaimed Goddess of Fierce (who’s been at it for apparently 2752.7 years) pluck 13 girls from obscurity to compete in this year’s sham to find the next top model.  IMHO the girls who end up losing have more legitimate modelling careers than the winners with exception to Danielle – Cycle 5.  Overall it seems like an interesting crew filled with your token farm girls, token cause of the season (this year it’s burn victims ya’ll) and token bitches – HELLO SANDRA.  Personally, I’m glad they’re back in NYC for this season.  I find It gives the show more credibility – not that it has much.    So far my early front-runners are Allison (Bug Eyes), Fo (Freckles),  Amiat (Big Fro) and Celia (Old Blond) which means they will all crash and burn.

Here are a couple of pics from our ANTM – Reliving your childhood photoshoot.  Who did it better?  Tyrant or Homorazzi?

antm-12-1-tug-o-war

PS:  My fave line of the night was from Celia: “Tyra. This woman is amazing.  She’s an entity.  She’s a force. She’s extraterrestrial” LMAO

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