Previously on Survivor, The Heroes managed to win one and sent the Villains to Tribal Council. Coach acted like a douche, Jerri waffled, and Boston Rob had to face down the evil Russell. Sadly for all of Survivordom, Russell came out on top. Ew. Could you imagine? Heinous. So what now? How many times will we have to listen to the troll go on and on about how amazing he is? The previews promised some drama this week. Bring it. Can the Villains win without Rob? We’ll see.

We start off this week at Camp Volturi. It’s night 18. Russell and Parvati are celebrating their move to get rid of Rob. Russell believes he is controlling the game. Blah blah blah. What’s new. Parvati and Danielle discuss how much they love blindsiding people. Coach is pissed. He says his tribe is full of cowards and calls Russell a bully. Ummm… dude? Didn’t you help Russell by not voting with Rob? Dumbass. I hate Coach. Jerri is just hoping she did the right thing and she’s missing Rob. Coach meanwhile is praying for the merge because he thinks the Villains are doomed.

At Camp Cullen, JT goes looking for the hidden immunity idol despite his earlier promise last week to do it as a group. He’s being a real snake this year. Amanda then goes on a hunt for JT and finds him idol in hand!!! Busted. Then Candice shows up. So much for being sneaky! JT decides to tell the whole tribe that he found it and tells them that the first one that needs it after the merge gets it. Candice is super suspicious though. She doesn’t trust him and tells Amanda they’re lucky she tailed him. Candice wants to work with Amanda to get rid of JT and the idol at some point.

Back with villainous Volturi, the players get a clue to their next challenge and they all guess it’s merge time. They pack up some of their best gear just in case they don’t come back. Smart.

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Previously on Survivor, both tribes went to Tribal Council to kick out some dead weight. The Heroes mercifully sent James and his broken down knee to loser lodge while the Villains went through one of the games most brilliant scrambles. Rob had the perfect plan to boot Russell or Parvati. Russell had the perfect plan to counter the perfect plan. Tyson was the dumb ass that fell for it. And, he paid the ultimate price tonight. How will Rob react when they get back to camp? Will his troops fall in behind Russell? Can the Heroes win a challenge? 
 
We start this week at Camp Luthor. Rob tells us that he was shocked for the first time in three whole seasons playing Survivor. Wow. He was completely caught off guard. He can’t figure out what Tyson did and why. Rob tries to reinforce with Jerri, Sandra, and Courtney that the other three have to go. They seem on board. Courtney tells the camera that Russell, who is a “bandy-legged little troll”, has a little boy crush on Parvati. I love her. So lippy. More Courtney, less Russell please! She then says Parvati clearly has “no problem flirting with ANYTHING that walks” while questioning Russell’s washing habits. Russell must hate watching this at home. He didn’t get a lot of blowback in Samoa during confessionals. He is now.
 
Speaking of Russell, Parvati giggles her sweet giggle and hugs him to death. She IS shameless. Danielle says the Tribal Council was “awesome”. The three of them gloat for a while and then Russell tells the girls they have to work on Jerri. They laugh. They HATE Jerri. At this point, Rob lays it all out for the camera. He knows there’s trouble. He thinks he has the numbers, but the other three wouldn’t be acting so cocky if that was the case. Something is up.
 
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Previously on Survivor, the Villains kept kicking some puzzle ass and the Heroes kept losing. That’s ok because I’m in love with the villains. Team Heroes is more Team Douche… and that’s saying a lot because Coach is actually the Duke of Douche. So far, the Heroes have lost Sugar, Stephenie, Cirie, and Tom. Who else will they lose tonight? Or, can they get their shit together and send those dastardly villains to Tribal Council? And how will Russell’s hidden immunity idol come into play? Let’s find out!

We start off this week at Camp GI Joe. James asks Colby if he wants a hug. LOLs. I’d watch that. Sadly, Colby says no. Candice is conflicted about her vote. She wanted to get James out, but didn’t want to face the anger back at camp if she flipped, so she played it safe. Amanda confesses that she is sick of Candice and nobody trusts her.

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Previously on Survivor, Cirie got out-Ciried by J.T. who made a move with Tom’s hidden immunity idol. Meanwhile, Boston Rob led the charge not to even look for the damn thing at their camp… pissing Russell off who will stop at nothing to find it. We’re clearly heading for a showdown between those two, but how will James, Amanda, and Rupert react to J.T.’s flip flop?

We start this week with Team Vulcan coming back from Tribal Council. Colby is bragging about the successful turnaround, calling J.T. a “hero”. J.T tells the group that he didn’t do anything for personal reasons… just that he had to get rid of Cirie… for the team. Yeah right. Just say she was a threat and be done with it. Rupert says he’s pissed and sets his sights on J.T.

The next morning, Amanda tries to check in with J.T. He’s clearly not done playing both sides. He tells her he will never turn on them. He swears over and over that it’s the truth. Amanda does what she does best… pouts. We know it’s an act though because she immediately tells us in confessional that she sees right through him. She says “game on”.

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Survivor Heroes vs Villains Episode 4 – “The Hobbit on Crack”

Previously on Survivor, the God Warriors finally won immunity and sent the Devil’s Rejects to Tribal Council. Scratch that… the God Warriors totally dominated in a bone crunching victory. During the scramble, most of the villains agreed that Parvati was too much of a threat to stay but she wriggled out of danger. Grumpy Randy was sent home instead. Can the good guys keep it up or will they once again self destruct?

We start off this week with back with the Devil’s Rejects rehashing some conflict between Coach and Sandra. Coach tells us that he’s really sensitive. His feelings are hurt. Awww… poor delusional Coach. He then whines to Tyson … “I’m the f*cking man and I don’t need anyone to validate that.” LOLs. You keep telling yourself that Coach! Dude is seriously insecure. Then he starts crying. LOLs!!!!

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Previously on Survivor, Team Frodo lost another immunity challenge while Team Sauron continued to kick some serious puzzle ass. James, one of the show’s most cherished heroes, turned into a raging lunatic in his very harsh attack on Stephenie. Despite Colby and Tom’s best attempts to save her, she was the next one sent packing. Good. Never liked her. Can the Hobbits bounce back or will the Orcs continue their domination of the Shire?

We start off this week immediately after the Heroes get back to camp from the ugly Tribal Council where James really went after Stephenie. James just says he wants to win. Tom tries to make peace by telling James just to be more “gentle”. They try and let it all go. Tom tells the camera that James’ “nasty, brutish bullying” was uncalled for. I agree. But, it’s time to put on some happy faces and move forward. J.T. tries to cover his butt by apologizing to Tom. They hug it out. Awwwww. Cute.

Colby and Tom then have a little chat. They think they were naïve to think they could play the heroic game again. It has changed. Duh. Have they not watched the last 8 or 9 seasons? Apparently not.

Over at Camp Sauron with the Orcs, Parvati and Russell are giggling and making fun of other people under the shelter. Rob lets us in on a little secret. Watch how people sleep. They cuddle up to their alliances. Jerri and Coach. Parvati and Russell. Rob confesses that he doesn’t trust Russell’s ass at all. And then laughs at him for his tragic Parvati chasing puppy dog eyes.

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Previously on Survivor, we met our ten heroes and ten villains who will be fighting for the title. In a season full of heavyweights, lightweight Sugar was the first to go. Can the Villains make it two immunity challenges in a row? Will the heroes bounce back? Will the Coach/Jerri romance blossom? God, I hope not.

The episode started back at Camp Smoggies, where the villains are miserable in the rain. Boston Rob gets the first confessional and bitches about the losers who won’t do any work. He’s sick of the complaining and says he’s on the buffoon tribe for the third time. By morning, they’re all rebuilding the shelter to some seriously ominous music. There is definite tension. Even Courtney confesses that people are acting like fools and backs Boston Rob up. Things must be bad for her to try and lead.

At Camp Suntots, the music is upbeat and triumphant. Odd, considering they just came back from an immunity loss. Compared to the Smoggies, they are working well together.. Things seem pleasant… but then the scheming starts… from RUPERT no less. He’s got his sights on Stephenie. She’s a threat to him. And Stephenie just thinks Rupert is annoying. I agree.

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Here we go folks… it’s time for another round of Survivor and I’m super stoked. Twenty of the most notorious, hated, loved, and infamous (Danielle and Candice aside… WTF are they doing here anyways) survivors of all time are back. We’ve known who was coming since the spoilers got out in August, but now we get to see them in action. How will Boston Rob deal with Evil Russell? Can Cirie charm her way past Colby? Will America finally see past the tie dye shirts and recognize the douche that is Rupert? How long will we have to endure Coach and his delusions of grandeur? God I hope Parvati eats Coach for breakfast.

As we all know, we’re back in Samoa for this season. Jeff Probst gives us an epic voiceover about rivals and warriors and battles etc… the perfect setting for Survivor’s biggest showdown yet. Cue the helicopters! The game is on!

Rupert of course gets the first confessional claiming good will win. Russell then argues villains are smarter. I might just have to agree with Russell on this one. Once the helicopters land, the twenty all stars are already in their tribes. Playing for the Jedi are Cirie (who gave us the quote of the week in the first two minutes), Stephenie, Sugar, Candice, Amanda, Tom, Colby, JT, James, and Rupert. Up to bat for Team Sith are Boston Rob, Coach, Tyson, Randy, Russell, Danielle, Parvati, Jerri, Sandra, and Courtney.

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So, I PVR’d my way through the People’s Choice Awards… Taylor Lautner, Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman were pretty much the best part… so I could catch the promised sneak peek at Survivor 20. For those who have been to Homorazzi before know, we trolled the depths of online forums like SurvivorSucks to bring you the rumored cast list back in August. And then in November, we trolled the same flame-filled pits of hell to bring you the tribe list. Now, CBS has finally confirmed the cast… and the spoilers were right!

Say hello to “HEROES” Rupert Boneham, James “J.T.” Thomas, Tom Westman, Colby Donaldson, James Clement, Stephenie LaGrossa, Amanda Kimmel, Jessica ‘Sugar’ Kiper, Cirie Fields and Candice Woodcock.

And then the “VILLAINS” Jerri Manthey, Parvati Shallow, Sandra Diaz-Twine, Courtney Yates, Danielle DiLorenzo, Rob “Boston Rob” Mariano, Randy Bailey, Tyson Apostol, Ben “Coach” Wade and Russell Hantz.

video after the jump