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Homophobic Homosexuals: A Starburst-Worthy Contradiction

In: Saturday Submissions

In a society where gays are hated by so many people, one would think that the community would stand together. Well, it’s more like one would hope. I know no one is perfect but homophobia in the homosexual community?? Homophobic homosexuals, that’s an oxymoron, right? That’s definitely a starburst worthy contradiction. Why would a gay hate another gay with so many straight (more like closeted) ignorant homophobes. I have first-hand experience with the situation because my two best friends are homophobic gays. Just my luck! But seriously, the two are really good friends that have been like family to me, but it has always dumbfounded my family and I that my two friends can be gay and homophobic.

Sometimes I wonder if I hadn’t been friends with one of them since I was 9 (now I’m 18) would we be friends today. I’m not “flamboyant.” I hate the term because it stereotypes over-zealous feminine gays, but it seems to be the term most people can relate to or understand. But I’m also not the type of guy who will pretend to be straight because I can get away with. I rock my Chanel, Coach, and Juicy Couture cell phone cases where ever (apparently that’s how girls find out I’m gay because they hit on me, until I text someone and they see it haha). My two best friends on the other hand will pretend they’re straight if they can get away with it.

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Do Real Men Hold Hands?

In: Totally GAY!, Tyrell

In April, a video surfaced on YouTube of Toronto Raptor’s players Leandro Barbosa and Reggie Evans holding hands walking back to the locker room after a win over the Orlando Magic. Immediately after it went viral, YouTube removed the video and all comments were disabled. The internet backlash was so intense with many people feeling that this wasn’t a very masculine display for two pro athletes. Men in sports high five, slaps each other’s asses, punch each other’s arms right?

A new study came out recently about men defending their manhood. The University of South Florida had men behave in a feminine manner and they tracked the results. Some men were asked to braid hair while others were asked to braid rope. After this was complete, they were given the choice to work on a puzzle or hit a punching bag. Men who were told to braid hair overwhelmingly chose to hit the punching bag. A sign to regain their manhood?

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Recently I’ve encountered the exact same conversation over and over again when meeting new people.

NEW FRIEND: “You’re gay, right?”
ME: “Yes I am, why?”
NEW FRIEND: “I just figured, because you dance.”

I’ve come to wonder why people automatically assume that because I dance I must be gay. Why jump to that conclusion? I’ve been dancing since I was 9, but even before that I did karate as well as hockey and baseball. Why does dancing become a dead giveaway as opposed to the other sports in people’s minds? Is it cuz I’m surrounded by half naked woman as opposed to men a majority of the time? It seems much more homoerotic to be surrounded by hot, sweaty, grunting men…don’t you think? I’m confused as to what the contributing factor to the label on dance and male sexuality is. I’m not offended by the statement, just curious as to why it is that DANCE got the gay wrap.

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With just a month before American Idol 10 premieres, we finally have our first video promo of the new judging panel. Up until now, we’ve seen promos featuring previous Idol winners in their respective hometowns and snippets of auditions from the upcoming season. While we’ve seen still shots of the new judges behind the judging table, we haven’t seen them judge yet. And with this new video, we’ll have to wait some more.

Both video clips courtesy of E! Online, feature the judging panel listening to the auditions and giving their approval via body motions as in head bopping, smiling or other universally accepted gestures of acceptance. Not a single word is uttered from any of them. Previous video promos featured themes of “Every superstar begins with a dream! Who’s Next?”. The new video clips embrace the theme “Everyone deserves a chance“.

Well not everyone… The clips focus strictly on talented performers. Phew. Gone are those awful fame-seeking horrible singers with gimmicks. Not to say they won’t show up during the first few weeks of Idol. I’m glad the tone of the show the producers have given us so far in all their promos is about the talent and not the trainwrecks. While William Hung is still hilarious, that schtick has gotten old for several seasons. Enjoy the promos below.

watch the promo videos after the jump

LMFAO: South Park Does Snooki

In: Patrick, TV Shows

“It’s T-Shirt Time!!” OMG, last night’s episode of South Park was too funny, as New Jersey immigrants attempted to move to the small, close knit (fake) community of South Park, Colorado. South Park is never afraid to be on the edge of inappropriate, and this episode was no different. I’m sure actual Jersey resident may be annoyed, as all of the characters on the episode were portrayed with excessive hair gel, tons of jewelery, and enormous steroid infused biceps – but that would be MTV Jersey Shore‘s fault, not South Park’s.

Of all the characters that were portrayed, Snooki got the worst treatment – a small price to pay considering she’s become the most famous out of the bunch and makes the most money (although The Situation, recently booted from DWTS, is doing pretty well for himself as well). Snooki was depicted as a rat-like monster with a tale, whiskers, holding a drink and a cigarette. She ran around humping and straddling everyone, saying “Smoosh, smoosh!” LOL. It was perfect, I mean, she actually does that on Jersey Shore all the time.

Check out the hilarious video after the jump…

It’s A Whole New World Down Here!

In: Saturday Submissions

Well it’s been 2.5 weeks since I’ve been here and there’s a few things I’ve learned: Australians drive crazy, I stick out like a sore thumb with my accent, and Canadians are way too nice!

Moving to Australia I had my stereotypical ideas; hot climate, lots of Aborigines, hot guys everywhere and kangaroos jumping across highways like we have deer. Nope! I was wrong! Although, to be fair, the hot guy ratio is much higher here AND my sore thumb accent helps as a conversation starter! So…thumbs up!

Where to start? Language! There are days at work where I have no clue what people are saying! The accents are dependent from what areas people are from, so some are mild and some are really thick. Aside from the accent, the slang is more than I thought it would be. It’s not just words, but even phrases that make me shake my head. ‘Sticking the boot” translated means giving someone a hard time. Pinched=steal, chewy=gum, heaps=lots….I could go on, but you get the point. Try having a conversation where you’re constantly trying to figure out what it means – it’s hard!

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“Oh, You’re Part of the A-Gays…”

In: Saturday Submissions

Me: “Uhm, I’m sorry?”
Guy: “Ya, you hang with the ‘tight shirt, hot body’ crew”
(Cough – he just said I was skinny, marry me! – cough)
Me: “Oh… uh, thank you?” (All the while, thinking to myself, “since when did being gay involve a social hierarchy?)

If you’ve seen Mean Girls (and hopefully all of you gays have, if not, gimme your gay card) then you’re familiar with the scene where Janice draws out the social map of North Shore High. Let me refresh your memory, “You’ve got your JV Jocks, Varsity Jocks, Sexually Overactive Band Geeks, Cool Asians, the best people you’ll ever meet and the worst. Beware of the plastics.” So this is all-good in a movie plot, in Jr High, definitely HS and occasionally creeps up in the college (university for you Northerners) years. But where is the line drawn when we can drop those titles and just be who we are with the friends we have? As much as I love Regina George, I’m not sure I want to be considered a “plastic.”

Now, us gays love to put titles on the types of guys in our community, anything from bears, to jocks and daddies to twinks. But these titles, at least for me, don’t carry any sort of social status, so when someone told me that I was included in what they considered the “A-Gays,” I was intrigued. When I asked him to explain what he meant, he just said that he had always noticed my group of friends, myself included, as the people who always dressed in the latest trends, always had worked-out bodies (who me? HA), were generally very attractive, were always laughing and looking like we have the times of our lives and so on and so on. On the one hand, I was flattered that someone had noticed things like that, but on the other hand, I was confused.

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“I’m Gay, Pass It Along!”

In: Saturday Submissions

So sitting at dinner in Palm Springs a few weeks ago with a group of guys we like to refer to as the “A-Gays” – defined as the smart, sophisticated, classy gays, haha. There was all of these amazing, intellectual conversations going on about Prop 8 and gay marriage and politics and all sorts of things that were way over my head – being a 23 year old gay from a small town without much of a strong view on any political topic. All of these discussions I found fascinating and for the first time left me thinking for the first time, “how can I help people see gays in a more positive light?” or “what can I do to contribute?”.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, we definitely have it better than any gay man 20 years ago and being gay is so much more accepted now days, even kind of trendy (See Glee, modern family, etc). That being said, we do have a long way to go to reach true equality, with Prop 8 just being turned down and people still being killed for being gay in some parts of the world (Won’t be rushing off to Saudi Arabia anytime soon!)

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Be Our Friend

Life In Your Thirties