sex tape

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July 2014: Five Must-See Movies

In: Matt, Movies

HELLO JULY! It’s officially summer here in Vancouver which means I’m not pale anymore YAY!!! Even though I love spending all of my time on the beach during these few gorgeous months, it’s always nice to cool off in an air conditioned theatre here and there.

For this month’s picks I’ve tried to stay away from the big summer blockbusters (Tammy, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Hercules and The Purge: Anarchy). Some of them crept in but most of my picks this month are limited release only. That means you might have to dig a little to find a theatre near you that’s actually playing them but I think these ones will be worth the effort.

Check out my picks for must-see movies below!

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The last time Cameron Diaz co-starred with Jason Segel, they created magic with Bad Teacher. The comedy raked in over $216 million worldwide with just a $20 million budget. It was such a hit, CBS is adapting the film for an upcoming sitcom debuting later this month. Diaz and Segel reunite for what appears to be another smash.

In the first red band trailer for Sex Tape, the two play a married couple with a less-than-exciting sex life. To spice things up, they film a sex tape. Instead of deleting it, Segel accidentally uploads it to their iCloud. Unfortunately for them, Segel isn’t well-versed with the technology. “Nobody understands the Cloud,” shouts a frustrated Segel. “It’s a f—ing mystery!”

As a result, everyone they gave iPads to at Christmas has access to their intimate moment. They frantically hunt down every device before their relatives and close friends witness their three-hour lovemaking session. Or in the words of a friend, where Diaz gets “Lincoln’d.”

Helming the R-rated comedy is their Bad Teacher director, Jake Kasdan. Ellie Kemper, Rob Corddry, Rob Lowe, and Jack Black round out the cast. Sex Tape arrives in theaters on July 25. Watch the hilarious trailer below.

watch the trailer after the jump

Ray J for me, will forever always be Brandy’s little brother and the guy responsible for giving the world Kim Kardashian. Damn him for taping his sexual romp with the reality star. For that alone, he certainly should spend some time behind bars. Can you imagine a world without any Kardashians? Serenity now.

The 32-year-old singer just dropped a new single taking a not-so-subtle jab at his ex and her new boyfriend, Kanye West. “I Hit It First” reminds the world that before Kris Humphries and the “Heartless” rapper, it was Ray J who has “hitting it” on a regular basis. If the title and lyrics weren’t clear enough that Kimmy K is the subject, Ray J used a paparazzi picture of her at the beach and pixelated it for his single’s cover art. Check out a snippet of the lyrics below.

She might move on to rappers and ballplayers
But we all know I hit it first.

I had her head going North and her ass going South
But now baby chose to go West

No matter where she goes or who she knows
She still belongs in my bed.

As any avid reader of Homorazzi knows, I’m not the biggest fan of Kim K. So anything taking a jab at her will always please me. That said, the track is a bit catchy. It might very well be his best single since his Top 10 hit “Sexy Can I” released in 2007. With the controversial factor, it’s bound to get lots of airplay and attention. I can’t wait to see what he does for the music video. Listen to “I Hit It First” below.

listen to the track after the jump

Move over Paris Hilton & Kim Kardashian because there’s a new celebrity sex tape that is so kinky, it makes you gals look like amateurs.The queen of mean of the upcoming blockbuster, Snow White of the Huntsman, Charlize Theron is the latest victim of a celebrity phone hacking, with a crazy sex tape leaking and surfacing online, and so much more.

Well actually, Charlize has literally taken over Funny or Die today, with a series of hilarious videos being released, a kinky sex tape is but one of them. There are literally 8 new Funny or Die videos with Theron in them. From Charlize first getting her phone hacked, to footage of her on the toilet, filming her ASPCA Audition Tape, practicing her Oscar Acceptance Speech, and more. It’s absolutely hilarious and ridiculous. I seriously love Charlize Theron.

Enjoy all of the videos below. My favorites are the kinky sex tape and the practice Oscar Acceptance speech. Enjoy!

Watch the video after the jump…

Jon Huertas Has A ‘Sex Tape’

In: Music, Tyrell, Videos

For a while, one of Hollywood’s biggest celebrity fads was to have a sex tape. It looks like Jon Huertas from ABC’s Castle took a pass at trying to capitalize on that. Recently on his official Twitter page, Jon tweeted a link that took you to a faux sex tape, which is actually the name up of his upcoming album. Now, on his official website, the sex tape has turned into his sexy new video for his single Sex Is The Word.

The track gives you a little throwback to days of Grease with a play on the chorus’ lyrics and melody. The video however is something you kind of want to watch through your hands covering your eyes. The 41-year-old actor seems a bit too old to be singing a song of this nature, and the video is a little bit… weird. A couple of notable weird moments are the whip cream and the faux-humping. It’s like having your uncle release a song about sex and your the embarrassed nephew.

Take a look at the video and make your opinion but whatever you do, please share it with us below.

Watch ‘Sex Is The Word’ after the jump…

JLo fought long and hard to ensure the footage would not be released, but the court has officially ruled that it is okay for Ojani Noa to released personal home footage of he and his ex wife Jennifer Lopez.

Jennifer Lopez got married to former waiter Ojani Noa in 1997 and got divorced a few months later. Lopez’s legal team claimed that the two signed a confidentiality agreement upon their divorce that would prevent him from releasing any personal information from their marriage. Noa has already sold the video to his current girlfriend, Claudia Vazquez who is pursuing her plan to sell the footage to a distributor. On Friday, the judge ruled that this would be legal for her to do. The footage is describe as “intimate” and at this point no one knows if there is any nudity.

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The Simpsons: The XXX Parody

In: Celeb Gossip & News, Patrick

Why do they keep doing these!? The next TV show to inspire a Porn Parody is none other than The Simpsons. This Larry Flynt XXX Parody follows Marge & Homer Simpson as they decide to make their own homemade sex tape, and also features several other familiar characters including: Ned Flanders, Cookie Kwan, Senator Mendoza, McBain, and Barney. “You’ve never seen yellow this sexy,” as their tagline promises.

The adult industry has gone cray cray with making these parodies. In the last year alone, porn parodies have been done for Jersey Shore, The Jeffersons, The Brady Bunch, The Cosby Show, Seinfeld, and The Golden Girls. If someone were to ask me what turns me on, I would never watching TV sitcom (or cartoon!) characters having sex. Would you get turned on by spray-painted people & parts with cartoon voices getting it on?

In other Porn Parody news, Vivid Entertainment is releasing an Elvis Presley one this Saturday, for what would be the King’s 76th birthday. It will feature two different playing Elvis, and but also porn actor Ron Jeremy. I bet after Elvis finishes, he says, “Thank ya. Thank ya very much.”

Check it out after the jump…

Just as you may have expected, Ashton Kutcher‘s alleged former mistress, 21 year old Brittney Jones has dropped her lawsuit against Vivid Entertainment, which means they can move forward with selling the sex tape. I don’t blame her. Look at what happened to Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian after their sex tapes were released. These girls who were socialites became celebrities, and were then awarded with reality shows and loads of cash. “If Kim can survive and in fact do even better after a sex tape scandal, I guess I can, too,” says Jones.

A rep for Vivid Entertainment told TMZ that after several rounds of litigation, Kutcher has a bit of a victory as the rep says that, “We decided not to use the A-lister’s actual name in connection with the sex tape.”

If they can’t use his name then perhaps they should make a play on his MTV series, Punk’d and call it Spunk’d. Perfect, right? Vivid Entertainment boasts “Ashton’s fans will undoubtedly enjoy seeing what the star himself may have experienced.”

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