WE DID IT FOLKS! Clearly, the good/awful people at American Idol listened to our barking and decided to opt out of “Songs of the 20s” and leave “Rock Around the Clock” at home and this week gives us: “Songs From This Decade“. As much as I don’t believe my articles per se had anything to do with this choice, I definitely believe that the unified bitching of online fans everywhere actually got to the gold-stuffed ears of the Idol producers and they decided to listen to us little people. With such an odd sounding theme (seriously, “Songs From This Decade”, we’re TWO years in people), it sounds like they threw together the name of the week as quickly as they did change their mind to try out actually offering recent songs.
BUT, we got what we wanted, so no complaining about the fact that they couldn’t think of a better title, instead let’s just appreciate the gift and not stare the horse in its mouth. Bringing in Akon to mentor and “guide” the contestants I have to wonder if that was really the best choice given this man’s sketchy past having faux sex with 15-year olds on stage as well as more than a few different known baby mommas… maybe his time is better spent with HIS plethora of kids and not these ones? Hell, at least we’re getting a contemporary artist… just keep an eye on him around the younger ones is all I ask. Like last week, we’re gonna be getting the main song by the performers and then a duet that doesn’t technically count though the viewers are always there to judge it all and dial in accordingly. Let’s pray the singers show us they can be relevant and that it’s been the show holding them back with hackneyed themes and songbooks until this point!
Well, last night we got to listen to the songs of the 80s and the whole thing was about as exciting as reading this sentence is… I know I’ve been called a catty bitch more than a couple times and told to shut up if I have nothing good to say but screw it, I’m still here ha. Point is, I’m staying around with the hopes that SOMEthing good gets proposed by the aging and out-of-touch producers at “American Idol” as they continue to attempt theme nights of aged singer song books and decades of limited relevance and then within those awful limitations choosing a litany of songs we’ve never heard of. This show has had such amazing moments over the last decade and I know it’s capable of great things so I’ll stay, keeping them honest and calling them on their laziness! Last night’s ridiculousness included crap by DeBarge (who?), lesser pics of Simply Red and 80s disco (seriously?) from Irene Cara… slow clap for those choices Idol. And as much as you have us watching the contestants “choose” their own songs, we just know that if they’re opting for bull like this that the list to go off of must be even more obscure. Okay, rant done, let’s get to what we’re here for!
Tonight is some personal pimping (yet again… wasn’t it about her TV show just a couple weeks ago and then her marriage the year before… Hey J Lo: how did those turn out?), by Ms. Lopez herself as she premieres “Dance Again” tonight. She looks great, but I’m wary to believe this one’s gonna be the one that puts her back on top, but we’ll see! On top of that we get previous Idol “failure” Kellie Pickler who proved you don’t need Idol’s number one slot to make it in the music world once the show ends and The Wanted performing tonight. Some decent bands tonight and a nice combo of pop, country and let’s go alt pop rock to make the evening appeal to a variety of peeps. But who cares about all that when there’s the elimination on the line! I’m hoping with all my might that it’s finally DeAndre Brackensick’s turn to step off though I’m worried for Hollie Cavanagh and as always Elise Testone. I think Hollie might earn the second chance from the judges if it gets that far but I doubt the other two would even be seriously considered for it. Let’s see what’s happened!
So, Idol, where did we last leave things? Well, Heejun-the-”Hilarious” was finally sent home- only 5 or weeks so late, but hey it’s done now. This week we get buried in another Idol theme week of blah as we recite the songs of the 80s. Arguably there’s plenty of gems from that decade but we all know that Nigel Lythgoe and the rest of the producer ghouls will be finding the cheapest and most random they can to bore us for a good 90% of what we’ll watch tonight, and taking a peak at a leaked song list it seems like my pessimistic prediction is dead on. The songs you’ll see are known but truly nothing relevant in today’s world of “One Direction Bieber Lovato” madness so I struggle to understand how this show attempts to stay relevant with songs that less than half the audience likes let alone recognizes. Oh well, let’s play the hand we’re dealt and see what we’ve got tonight.
As we move from last week’s Stevie Nicks to today’s Gwen Stefani as contestant mentor I appreciate the attempt to at least bring in truly successful performers who have been through the stages of early stardom and come out the other end as famed successes so at least they’re hitting that on the head. We’re going to be getting our usual round of solos tonight but with the add of some duets to- let’s be honest- drag out what could be a half hour show into its full 2-hour commercial bonanza. I’ve got my fingers crossed Phil Phil’s shirt busts open tonight, that DeAndre Brackensick forgets the words and yet still gets voted to stay in perfect mockery of what this show has become and that Jessica Sanchez continues to slay the competition along side my dark horse fave Elise Testone. So, without further adieu…
Well, this week has been BETTER. I’m going to assume this was Nigel Lythgoe’s annual purchasing of black market baby organs to keep his skeletor body alive and therefore someone else took over and decided to give us a theme week of: “Idols singing their idols” which allowed for actual contemporary and recognizable tunes. On top of that, we even get to see the tremendously huge (in the platinum sales kind of way) Nicki Minaj perform “Starships” and of course the typical previous Idol failures attempting to bump their sales with Season 10′s winner Scotty McCreery singing “Water Tower Town“. Maybe you’ll actually try a live performance this time mr. parade lip sync disaster??
Last night was a good one for fans of actual talent on this show as Vote for the Worst favourite DeAndre YouMakeMeSick BOMBED his 100% falsetto version of an Eric Benet song and how-is-he-still-here Heejun Huh came across as mediocre at best. Further, true talent Elise Testone blasted the damn hell out of an impossible rock ballad and got the full support of the judges which only perfectly sets up this show to fall on its ass if the voters didn’t support her and we once again see her in the bottom. It’s cruel to hope for someone to fail, but this girl cannot win with America’s voting system on this show and so I’m hoping she stands as a lightning rod of disgust from viewers with brains and ears everywhere who will watch her get kicked off for not being peppy, young or cookie cutter enough to make the Idol cut. Ranting aside, Seacrest has been promising a “shocker” tonight so let’s get to those results and see how Nicki did tonight!
Maybe tonight’s the night that I don’t roll my eyes at Idol… MAYBE. After weeks of old, unknown and painfully forgettable song choices due in large part to the show’s constantly pathetic attempt at a “theme”, we get this evening: “Idols singing their idols”, as the kids take on the (please dear god let them be famous) songs of the singers they grew up loving. What I hate most about this: get.off.themes.Idol. In this area, this is where “X Factor” truly shines as they week-in get to choose from any song the show can pay for and blast away. They change their style and genre like they change their outfits to meet the judges and America’s expectations and that makes for a much more versatile competition. With American Idol we’re usually stuck with crap like: “The song book of Elvis” etc. Still, making lemonade from bitter, handpicked with his wrinkled paws Nigel Lythgoe lemons, what I like most about this challenge is the ability to pander, play to your abilities and most importantly: be memorable.
Personally, I’d lie through my god damn teeth and pick a song that was vaguely patriotic- or at least American iconic- from within the last decade, with a huge rise in it and one that every god damn person in that audience would know. Screw “singing the songs I grew up loving”: who the hell remembers Lisa Loeb’s “Sandalwood“! Instead, use this vague theme to make that crowd weep and jump to their feet. Let’s hope some of the contestants were smart enough to figure that one out. That said, we also “get” some lame group performances by the contestants but , we do get classic American singer Stevie Nicks as the mentor: a great choice for “Idols and their idols” night even though (spoiler alert) I don’t really mention either of them at all in this article. Get to the end and you’ll see why.
First off, Reinhart-WHO, and Del Rey ARE-YOU-KIDDING-ME? Yes, real fans of the show know that Haley Reinhart one of last year’s non winners- specifically the one who did the super awkward singalong with Tony Bennett- but commmme onnnnnn Idol, you’ve oh so clearly given up. And a TAPED performance by SNL-failure Lana Del Rich? Honestly, add these “special guests” with last night’s “Songs of Billy Joel” and what do you get? A show that isn’t just resting on its laurels but actively working to ruin a reality talent show institution it essentially founded. While I may sound a bit dramatic, I honestly feel that people this year are seeing the complete breakdown of a once-relevant show. While it’s clearly been going down in innovation, talent and resultant viewership for years now, I find this season to be the pinnacle of its decline.
While I continually bring up my disappointment, it’s only because week after week myself and similarly saddened viewers out there keep hoping against hope that THIS is going to be the week that they get new songs, or have good and critical judging from the panel or hell that a current guest star takes the stage (last weeks have had passe Mary J and the big country girl failure from last year… whoopee…). And still, we trudge on. So far, they’ve been kicking off people who deserve to go so what I’m hoping is that eventually, once idiot singers like DeAndre and Heejun are gone, that the remaining (ACTUAL) talent will pull off some entertaining performances. For now, let’s watch and make sure it’s the flotsam and jetsam who get the boot. So, who went tonight?
I’ll admit right now that I wrote the title of this article before I even watched the episode and based it purely on the choice to use the songbook of [eye roll] Billy Joel. Wow. Seriously? First we do Stevie Wonder for the boys, then Birthday Year tunes and now Billy Joel? Holy crap, you’d think with all the money behind this show that they’d actually be able to gather up some RELEVANT songs for these poor kids to actually appeal to audience with. I’m guaranteeing you that 90% of the voting audience- 11 to 14 year olds- have NO clue what more than half these songs are. Oh well, just another failed decision and dated choice by the rotting skeleton that is exec producer Nigel Lythgoe who likely thought Billy J was the “bee’s knees” when he was younger.
I’m going to resist picking up my rant from last week as the judges suddenly add “Sing for Your Life” and that they’re the new deciders of who stays who goes or that apparently boys vs. girls isn’t a thing anymore, rather focus on tonight’s performances and see if there’s anything worth saving from this episode. You know, like some actual talent and good performances? Do those still even matter ? P Diddy- is that what he calls himself these days- is the mentor and I’m less than enthused considering his style is SO polar to everyone on that stage but who knows, oh and Tommy Hilfiger is back with “fashion advice”- HA. Let’s take a deep breath and see!
Well, we’re still here: and so are more than a couple singers who really don’t deserve to be. So far this season has brought us plagues, pageant moms, tragic falsettos, busted criminals and a couple good songs; you’d think the ratings might reflect what sounds like interesting drama. But alas, this is a singing competition and as the singing has often blowed thus far, the stats on viewership are waaay down. Once the most popular damn thing on TV, Idol has slipped steadily for the last 5 seasons to an all-time low, and do you know why? Well, a lot of reasons, but if you’ve been following my reviews or the show itself these recent years you’d know that it’s become a pageantry of commercialism, false drama and produced moments.
So, where has tonight brought us? Well, there’s more than a couple kiddos due to be up on the block as far as last night’s sad songs are concerned and we have some performances by Chris Daughtry, Demi Lovato and (wait for it) “SNL” crash and burn tradegy Lana Del Rey- just how rich IS this bitch’s dad? I’m here tonight to hopefully see the reinstatement of: “Sing For Your Life” if the judges decide to hear out the least voted for’s one more time and for sure to see someone I can’t stand going home: please be Shannon or Heejun. Well, let’s get to it and see how tonight goes!