As if Ryan Seacrest didn’t have enough things on his plate. Along with hosting “American Idol” and his daily radio show, he’s a very busy producer. He’s given television audiences all those annoying Kardashian reality shows. Damn you Seacrest. And don’t forget “dating” Julianne Hough. Faking a relationship isn’t a walk in the park, you know. LOL.
The 37-year-old is working with Sony Pictures Television and Embassy Row to develop a brand new game show. After a multiple bidding war, CBS beat out the other networks for the right to air Seacrest’s new offering. Even though he’s producing it, word has it he won’t have an on-air presence. Perhaps, he can hold a reality competition to find a host for the game show. Imagine the cheesy challenges. OMG. That’s brilliant. A production company needs to hire me immediately to develop shows ;)
This is… AMERICAN IDOL!!! We’ve been watching and cringing for days, weeks, months and what seems like years now as one by one amazing (Elise Testone) and awful (DeAndre Brackensick) singers alike have been knocked off to make way for our final two contestants: Phillip Phillips and Jessica Sanchez.
At this point in the game we’re all over the Ford commercials, the ever-fully posed and presented Coca Cola glass labels and the countless referencing and lack-luster “live” performances by previous Idol “winners” whose biggest show to put on their IMDB profile is typically a mall opening somewhere in middle america and for that reason I’m not going to ramble too much tonight but rather focus on the facts. Who will win: the Filipino princess or the scruffy young buck? As this season has been the most poorly and overly-produced of any I’ve ever seen, I wonder if the pushing we’ve seen in the past week to have another WGWG (whitey boy on his 6-string) take the gold will come to volition as he’s handed an amazing finale song (and final singing spot) on an ivory platter and as poor Jess is given some Kara DioGuardi-esque crap and left out to dry. Or, will the backlash from this corrupt posing bring out the Sanchez fans in full force? Hell, does it even matter when dialatune or whatever the hell it’s called can make 17,000 votes for you with a click of a button?? No matter what, both kids have been humble and sweet the entire time so however this ends I wish them the best and a pox on the house of exec producer Nigel Lythgoe. Let’s get to it!
FINAL NIGHT! First off, Tuesday? Really Idol? What’s up with these random Tuesday changeups? This is the second time you’ve thrown me for this loop and I am none too happy about it. At least I have a beautiful girl and sexy man to stare at all night as Phil Phillips and Jessica Sanchez duke it out as the Final Two on tonight’s last performance episode. Singing three songs each- their poor little vocal chords- the kids are laying it all on the line tonight as it all comes down to this. Hilariously, our “big side acts” tonight are Jason Derulo singing “Undefeated” and more awesomely Scotty McCreery, last year’s
loser winner who will sing “Please Remember Me“… First off, HOW freaking funny is the title of that song considering this barely talented moonshine making’ yokel has done NOTHING with his title of “America’s Idol” this past year. Oh no wait, he miss-lipsynched at some parade and it was embarrassingly captured on YouTube for the world to see. Slow clap there Southern Sam! Second, let’s take a minute to compare finale live show performances (albeit this is the second to last episode I doubt tomorrow will be much better): Idol gets Scotty McWHO? and The Voice gets frickin’ Justin Bieber? Kill yourself Nigel Lythgoe.
It’s been on the radio and news for a while now that people everywhere are strongly hoping this will be a woman’s year since no girl has won since Jordan Sparks in 2007; that’s five years of WGWG (white guys with guitars) and just what have those guys produced? Dick all, I’d argue! I’ve had my crush on for Phil for a good while now but honestly, I’m all about the ladies at this point and she’s my pick going into this evening. So, without further adieu, let’s see what they have for us tonight as they sing live from the Nokia Theatre in Hollywood!
It’s been grueling these past elimination weeks as top picks and sellable acts have been getting the boot time after time as Idol seems to control every aspect of our lives and our votes (well, not mine: I’m canadian, but you get what I’m saying). We’ve been deconstructing judges motivation, exposing panning shots and ridiculous production and styling choices, and most importantly the fine print at the end of each episode that gives us a big middle finger and declares: “We [Nigel Lythgoe and his flying monkey minions] are gonna pick whomever the frig we feel like, so suck it… and keep buying coca cola.” Still, we stay tuned to see the talent. Not to watch the dumb light show in the background or pay ANY attention to the extreme and outrageous claims of “perfect and unparalleled performances” by the judging panel, but to hear that one-off amazing song that keeps us interested and wanting to root for our favourites.
Tonight we get the musical stylings of past runner up Adam Lambert who felt the sting of Idol manipulation and lost to a WGWG (“white guy with guitar”: an expression I learned from you all commenting on my articles, thank you!) who couldn’t sell himself out of a paper bag. Tonight the out and proud man-diva will be performing “Never Close Our Eyes“, on top of which we’ll get the “singing stylings” or Lisa Marie Presley (seriously… why?). Like matching “Songs of the 60s” with “Songs from Today” Idol once again misses the mark and I shake my head in wonder at how this show still survives. You heard me rant that Joshua Ledet just didn’t have it last night despite the rantings of his biggest fan Randy, that Jessica Sanchez is getting back on her game and should win but not exactly with a perfect 10 score and that Phil Phillips though with an amazing night isn’t exactly what I would call America’s IDOL… all in all, this year isn’t knocking me over and I only hope next week we get something stellar or I might have to officially check out. Let’s see who’s going home tonight!
Well, we’re nearly there boys and girls. We experienced some highs and a helluva lot of lows together these past months as we strained to understand song choices, deconstructed producer machinations and collaborated on some elaborate and probably scarily accurate conspiracy theories of judging and vote-counting falsities… and now we’re down to the final three! We’ve got the early favourite and soon to be gay icon beauty: Jessica Sanchez and her impossibly strong voice. There’s soulful and always pitch-perfect Joshua Ledet who receives perfect reactions from the judges week in and out. And, the sexy and scratchy easy sounds of Phillip Phillips, the man so nice they named him twice. While there’s plenty bitching I can do about their equally balanced negative sides, I’m opting to focus on the good (in this paragraph at least) as we get into these final two days/episodes of singing and declare a winner and a new American Idol.
Tonight, the kids will be singing three songs each: mentor, Jimmy Iovine’s choice, the judges’ choice and the contestants choice themselves. I’m very much always into this week of songs as typically all three are current and nearly always match up extremely well with the type of song we’d like to hear from em’. Followers of my articles know that Phil has been my crush for a while now but I’ve never truly seen him as the man to beat on this show: yes he has the votes there’s no doubt about that but selling power? I think he might go the way of Kris Allen and his cute face/zero CD sales. Further, I think Josh is in the same boat with amazing talent but no real mass appeal to those who still pay for songs in the US these days. Honestly, I think Skylar Laine who got booted a couple weeks ago is their best chance at $$$ this year with her strong southern base where torrents and the like are about as foreign to them as automatic transmissions, but there’s no going back. All in all, I believe it will/should be a Jessica win with her tumultuous near sending home, resultant save and stunning on stage performances. I’ve hated- HATED- the judging this year and wasn’t exactly heart-broken when I heard rumours that Jennifer Lopez might not be returning for another season. I think the show is past her
boytoy’s boyfriend’s bedtime and he’s been getting cranky waiting for her to get home from taping.
Last night saw a lame-ass first round followed by a pretty killer second time up to bat as the now-four remaining
puppets contestants sang for Nigel Lythgoe’s pleasure doing first songs of California (seriously? did Schwarzenegger think that would help with the energy crisis and call in a favour?) and then “I wish I wrote it” pieces. We saw what I would argue was the best performance Phil’s given, Josh’s top 3 for sure, a great rendition by Jessica and a robotic, lack-luster song from soon-to-be-sent-packing Hollie.
I don’t want to jinx tonight’s results too much by declaring the poorly styled blond as the official loser as my predictions have been well off in the past but so far the comments on yesterday’s review seem to support the thought that the Top 3 really do deserve to be: Phil Phillips, Joshua Ledet and Jessica Sanchez. We get to see some very sweet (even cynical me can’t deny how amazing it would be to be raised to the level of “hero” and icon in one’s own city) hometown visits for the remaining singers. Often coming from smaller places, it’s pretty adorable to see how this show can bring together a group of people who cheer for the “home team” and likely run their phone bills up voting for these kids. But, what we care about it RESULTS, so let’s click through!
We’re back! With little to no dumb banter, Seacrest jumps almost right into the singing and so will I: Songs about/from California and Songs the contestants wish they wrote themselves. I’m rolling my eyes as the semi stupidity as these themes get longer and weirder but hey: I’m just happy no one needs to find out what songs were “hip” in the 50s to pick something out for this evening. That said, we find out tonight is also the “let’s reflect on their road here” evening as Idol fills those full two hours basically with nothing we haven’t seen before. I consider tonight to be like that penultimate episode before all dramas finales where they recap the greatest moments and add about 5 minutes of new material- in this case the singing- to squeeze a whole nother episode to make advertisement agencies happy.
My cynicism aside, today seems like it might be a reasonable one: we get current songs and the kids get to pick basically anything they want so I’m hoping a few of the brain-using singers show us something new and unique. Last week’s screen death of Skylar Laine left me blown away and particularly devastated tonight as I just know that she would have picked something awesome to offer us. So, it comes down to the two remaining kids I can stand: Phil Phils and Jessica Sanchez to prove there’s still relevant talent left in this pool as Hollie Cavanagh and Joshua Ledet tread water in the shallow end and wear awful clothes doing it: let’s get to it!
Last night was British Hits and Songs From the 60s: I was barely amused. Thankfully the brit picks were for the most part quite recent while the mid-century (literally, Nigel, you’re having them sing MID CENTURY SONGS) tunes were meh. More often than not, the responsibility to update and modernize these songs falls on the shoulders of the kids as they attempt not just individualize their performance but also rise above the terrible theme choices being made by our aged producers avoiding forced retirement. That said, the night was pretty good.
Oh and while I say “good”, Lopez would have you believe “greatest thing in the entire history of things ever” as she ridiculously threw it out that Joshua Ledet was the “best singer in 50 years”. Once again, it’s crap statements like this that a) make me hate these judges b) make me hate a show that wouldn’t edit crap like that out c) not trust a single standing ovation they’ve given the kid to date and d) did I already say J Lo is an idiot cause I should have. Anyway, tonight’s show features huge names in the industry as we get played to by Carrie Underwood and Coldplay. Sometimes the performance gods to look down on us. But, I ain’t here for no cold, I’m here for RESULTS: which by the way, only include a bottom TWO this evening. Whhhaaat? Let’s get to them!