CANADA’S NEXT TOP MODEL (Cycle 3) Finalists (L-R): Meaghan, Nikita, Maryam, Alexandra, Tiffany, Linsay, Tara, Heather, Jill, Ebonie, and Rebeccah.
Yesterday, CTV announced the wannabes for this year’s hottest Canadian claw fest– Canada’s Next Top Model Cycle 3. But, we all know Homorazzi.com had the list days ago. I would reserve judgment until after we see the first episode, but that is so not how I roll.
Check out the head shots of our 11 wannabes.
Just google ANTM recaps and you’ll get pages and pages of results. What makes our recap more unique? The quick answer… hopefully a lot of things. For starters, I know we all sit at home judging Miss Banks and her craziness and yell at those amateur models who don’t know broken down doll. I mean it’s Cycle 12 people. Research. Research. Research. So we’re going to put our money where our mouth is and try to emulate some of the best photos with our spin on it. Obviously we don’t have the locations, resources and money that BANKABLE & The CW have but we’ll try our best. So here goes nothing.
During last week’s episode, we saw the self-proclaimed Goddess of Fierce (who’s been at it for apparently 2752.7 years) pluck 13 girls from obscurity to compete in this year’s sham to find the next top model. IMHO the girls who end up losing have more legitimate modelling careers than the winners with exception to Danielle – Cycle 5. Overall it seems like an interesting crew filled with your token farm girls, token cause of the season (this year it’s burn victims ya’ll) and token bitches – HELLO SANDRA. Personally, I’m glad they’re back in NYC for this season. I find It gives the show more credibility – not that it has much. So far my early front-runners are Allison (Bug Eyes), Fo (Freckles), Amiat (Big Fro) and Celia (Old Blond) which means they will all crash and burn.
Here are a couple of pics from our ANTM – Reliving your childhood photoshoot. Who did it better? Tyrant or Homorazzi?
PS: My fave line of the night was from Celia: “Tyra. This woman is amazing. She’s an entity. She’s a force. She’s extraterrestrial” LMAO
There are a couple things you need to know about me. When I like something, I love it. When I don’t like something, I HATE IT! Same goes for people. If I like you, you’re in good shape, if I don’t…well you’ll know it for sure. Where is this going? I’ll tell you.
One of the things I don’t like (which means I HATE), is the dreaded black screen with three words on it. To Be Continued…
So you can imagine my utter disappointment when The Biggest Loser ended like that this week. So not impressed, especially how they teased me last week and took TWO DAYS to finish the weekly episode, as opposed to two hours on one night. Why do they do this to me? Honestly do they sit around a big boardroom table and say “How can we mess with Tommy this week?” Not cool Biggest Loser, not cool!
The third and final round of Idol hopefuls strutted their stuff Tuesday night in hopes of winning the hearts of America. Personally, I’m still waiting for a contestant to make me jump out of my chair and take notice. Hopefully I’ll get my wish this week and finally find someone to truly root for. I hate to sound like a record skipping but I really hate this 3 round format. Talented people are getting lost in the shuffle. Again, here’s my list from worst to best.
12. Alex Wagner-Trugman
That’s Why They Call It The Blues – Elton John
Unfortunatley for him, Alex is the first guy this year to get the trainwreck award. Simon put it best – “You’re like a little hamster trying to be a tiger.” I didn’t understand the out of place growling nor the microphone stand abuse. It’s a shame he sucked because I found him quite endearing during his pre-performance interview with Ryan. With so many talented guys this year this was definitely Alex’ swan song.
11. Arianna Afsar
The Winner Takes It All – Abba
… and the loser takes a fall. And fall she did which bit because I was totally stoked to hear an Abba song on the idol stage. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve seen Mamma Mia on Broadway or seen it in the movie theatre but the whole performance felt very High SchooL Musical lite. She has a good voice but she didn’t utilize it well. When she hit her falsetto she gave way too much vibrato. With the token teenager slot already filled by Allison Iraheta from last week, things look grim for Arianna coming back for the wild card round. Poor little Arianna is SOL.
Ok, so I’ve recently discovered the absolute genius that is THE BIGGEST LOSER…I know I’m about 6 seasons too late but whatever. I jumped into this season a few episodes in and was fucking hooked! I’ve made it a new tradition to kind of eat junk food while I watch it too, because I think I’m funny like that.
I also realized that eating that crap food TOTALLY defeats the purpose of why I keep watching that show. Let me set you up a bit. I, like pretty much every other gay on this site and on this planet have body issues…DUH! The thing with me is, not so long ago I was ACTUALLY in shape and doing something good, but then, like an idiot, I started smoking again with the logic in my head that YES! SMOKING WILL KEEP ME THIN! Eventually everything totally went south. I stopped working out completely, and became a disgusting lazy pig and gained like 15 pounds **shudder**. DIS-GUS-TING! And on top of that, I can’t even do a 5 minute dance routine without having my lungs almost pop!
After last week’s lackluster performances, the fabulous Tatiana Del Toro not making the top 12 and crappy song choices from most of the contestants I was really looking forward to this week’s show – I mean there was no way to go but up. It started off well, they got rid of the awkward friends and family segment and they alternated which judge started off the judging portion. Speaking of judges, at first I wasn’t keen about them adding a fourth judge to the mix but Kara DioGuardi has quickly become my favorite judge after Simon Cowell. I find her comments to be insightful and customized instead of Randy’s ‘Dawg’ and Paula’s ‘I love your spirit”. Here’s my rundown of who I thought brought it tonight.
GALLERY: Images from American Idol 8 – Round 2. [Gallery not found]
12. Jeanine Vailes
This Love – Maroon 5
Trainwreck #3 (including count from last week) Having never seen her sing a single note, I thought she would be a pleasant surprise like Ricky Braddy from last week. Unfortch for our ears, Jeanine blew chunks. No wonder the producers kept her under wraps – she was pure cannon fodder. Reminding me of a young Jody Watley with frickin’ hot legs and dressing like a hooker – in a good way, I had such high hopes when I first saw her tonight cuz I love me my divas. Her performance was so overdone and all over the place that I highly doubt Maroon 5 will ever let anyone on idol ever sing SLASH murder their songs. Honey, I’d call in sick on results day and check out the LA tourist sites, cuz you’re heading back home the next flight out.
11. Kai Kalama
What Becomes of the Brokenhearted – Jimmy Ruffin
I’ll start off with the good. Ummm… He’s got great hair – I wish I had curly hair like that. Now with the bad. Ummm… He sang it alright and hit the notes but the performance was so cheesy, corny and old-fashioned it had no business being on the idol stage. If you’re going to go retro own it like Melinda Doolittle from Season 6. Instead, he came off sounding like a lounge lizard and looked way older than he is.
Now that the live singing portion of the show has begun, Season 8 of American Idol has officially started for me. With Nigel Lythgoe out as executive producer, producer Ken Warwick steps into the driver seat. Trying to keep the show fresh, Warwick has decided to change this part of the competition. Rather than having the girls sing on one night then the boys on the other and the bottom two of each group getting the boot each week until the top 12 are reached, this time the top 36 are divided into 3 groups. A different group of 12 will perform each week with the top boy, top girl and the next top vote getter proceeding to the final 12. This format makes it nearly impossible for contestants who’ve received little or no airtime prior to this point to advance while other contestants who have received tonnes of airtime and built up their fan bases already have an easier path to the top 12. I usually like to reserve judgement after watching the entire show twice since you have a clearer picture of truly who is better after seeing everyone perform once already. I find it unfair that contestants who perform early in the show usually get the short end of the stick because you have no one to compare them to while the latter performances always get more votes since they are fresher in the viewers mind and pimped by both the judges and producers.
GALLERY: Images from American Idol 8 – Round 1. [Gallery not found]
Here is my list on whom I thought performed worst to best which was hard considering the night in general was mediocre at best.
12. Stevie Wright
You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift
Trainwreck #1. I’d place her 13th but that would just be mean. How bad was this performance? It’ll probably go down as one of the worst performances ever witnessed on this show. Looking like she stole rejected wardrobe from High School Musical 3 – Senior Year, Stevie danced awkwardly while totally butchering this lame Taylor Swift song. From the onset she didn’t hit the right key and unfortunately during the 1:20 minute performance she never was able to find it. Girlfriend needed a GPS to find the notes. I feel so bad for her since she seems like a really nice girl and was a pre-show fave of mine. I hope she gets a second chance during the wild card show but I highly doubt it. PS. Why was Jackie Tohn hugging Stevie’s mom and telling her she loved her? WTF.
11. Casey Carlson
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic – The Police
Trainwreck #2. Honey it’s not America’s Next Top Model. Chicka was too busy mugging for the camera instead of singing on pitch. I found her weird eye-winking, flirty smiling, and odd nose crunching totally distracting. Who knows, maybe this was her strategy so that we wouldn’t focus on her vocals. If she was going to take a Police classic, she should have totally stripped it down and sang it a la Vanessa Carlton or sang a girl anthem-ed song as Kara suggested. To add insult to injury, both Kara and Randy sang their feedback – “(8)Everything about that was wrong(8)“. Eeks. It’s a shame she won’t be going through since she’s a pretty and marketable girl that could make 19 Entertainment lots of money.
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This has got to be the funniest video I’ve seen in a while. The panel sounds exactly like us while we recap the previous night’s festivities.