I don’t know what the world Donald Trump was thinking when he decided to hold the Miss Universe pageant one week before Christmas. The whole holiday theme and set just felt a bit odd. For me, the pageant belongs in the spring or summer. Trump’s people seriously need to knock some sense into him. I swear he’s getting a bit more senile in his old age. In his defense, he probably thought airing it at this time might benefit the show’s ratings. Last year’s Victoria’s Secret fashion show scored boffo ratings. They’re practically the same show but with more clothing ;)

The Christmas trees and snowflakes were the least of his worries, the beauty pageant was probably the worst produced Miss Universe I can recall. From the audio glitches in the beginning and the awful pre-recorded segments, it was one big snooze fest. Thankfully, I taped it and watched the entire 2 hour pageant in just 30 minutes.

Once again Andy Cohen (my silver fox crush) and Giuliana Rancic hosted the event, with Jeannie Mai serving as fashion correspondent. A few of the notable celebrity judges included Nigel Barker (glad to see he’s been busy since ANTM), Lisa Vanderpump (my fave RHOBH), Scott Disick, Brad Goreski, Diego Boneta and Kerri Walsh Jennings to name a few. On deck to perform were Train and Nigerian-born Aussie singer Timomatic.

Overall, this year’s Top 5 were a decent bunch. That said, I was a little bummed, my early favorite, Miss South Africa, only made the Top 10. Speaking of Africa, this was the first time since 2002 that no black candidates made the semifinals. They didn’t even win one of the special awards. Best National Costume went to Miss China and Miss Congeniality and Miss Photogenic went to Miss Guatemala and Miss Kosovo respectively. Check out this year’s Top 5 below.

check out the Top 5 after the jump

Oh snap!!! Nigel Barker certainly isn’t holding back his feelings regarding his old gig, America’s Next Top Model. To be perfectly honest, he’s only preaching the gospel. Tyra Banks certainly drove ANTM into the ground and made it into one huge joke. The show had such potential early on to truly find fashion industry’s next “big” things. Instead, it became a showcase for Banks and all her cray cray delusions.

“Whereas ‘ANTM‘ was often times a bit of a caricature of the modeling business, ‘The Face‘ isn’t,” Barker says in the promo clip below. It’s all about real clients, real jobs and a look at the modeling industry as you’ve never seen it before. Based on the short teaser released, it certainly has potential. Words can’t even describe how excited I am for the show’s premiere on the Oxygen network in February 2013.

Even though I adore Karolina Kurkova and Coco Rocha and glad they’re on the show as team captains and mentors, the real draw here is Naomi Campbell. That woman is a supermodel legend and one scary ass bitch. That combination is what makes her so effin’ awesome. In a video below she sternly delivers, “If you have the camera on the right, where should your head be?” FIERCE. Even my knees were quivering when I heard that and I’m not even the one it was directed to.

Campbell’s team shouldn’t be the only ones that should fear her. Her fellow mentor Kurkova is the target of couple of zingers herself. Check these two out: “You’re an idiot and now your team is going to lose,” and “I’m very disappointed in your choice, Karolina. All I’m going to tell you is that it’s game on from now on.” Classic Naomi. All that’s missing is a cellphone being thrown around ;) Check out all the promos below.

watch a few promos after the jump

Curious to know what Nigel Barker has been up to since leaving America’s Next Top Model? Hanging out with Taylor Swift apparently. The two have collaborated for a picture book available for a limited time at Sony stores. 8 Hours/Taylor Swift is a collection of photos snapped by Barker on location in Southern California during, appropriately enough, an eight hour period. Given that both Swift and Barker are two of many celebrity ambassadors for Sony’s 2012 holiday campaign, this project is a perfect fit. It is one of the most extensive photo collections of Swift published to date. The 22-year-old singer wanted the book to show the different sides of her- every day casual, Hollywood glamour and performer chic. 

“Photographing one of the most famous pop icons of our time could have been a challenge, but working with Taylor was like a dream sequence. In one day, we managed to shoot an entire book’s worth of images and multiple short films! You daren’t put your camera down for a moment for even when she’s exiting the stage it’s iconic…” – Nigel Barker

So how does one get the book? Starting November 12, customers who purchase a Sony Alpha DSLR or NEX camera at a Sony store nationwide will have the chance to receive the 60 page, oversized book while supplies last. Ten copies, signed by both Barker and Swift, will be auctioned off on eBay by Sony, with all proceeds benefiting the Boys & Girls Clubs of America. Just in case you were wondering what Nigel used for the shoot, he used three different Sony cameras: the Sony a99 DSLR for elevated color contrast, the Sony NEX-5R for capturing fast-action movement and the Sony RX100 DSC for low-light situations. Check out the fruits of their labor below.

check out a few photos after the jump

Apparently, the old adage “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” needs to be updated to “hell hath no fury like a former male model scorned”. Based on Nigel Barker’s new gig, I would say he was plenty scorned. Barker was part of the massive cast shake-up over at “America’s Next Top Model“, along with Jay Manuel and Jay Alexander. At the time, both Barker and Tyra Banks issued statements that were filled with rainbows and unicorns regarding him leaving ANTM. I wonder how Banks feels about it now.

Oxygen network just announced that Barker is hosting their upcoming modeling competition titled, “The Face“. Here’s the kicker… he’ll now be working with Tyra’s former modeling rival Naomi Campbell. Somewhere out there, Tyrant is pulling out her weave. LOL.

The reality show is looking for a model to become “the face” of a major national brand. Campbell will be one of three judges who will lead their respective team of would-be models towards becoming the spokesperson for the not-yet-revealed brand. Find out the other two supermodels involved in the project. That’s right, we have real supermodels involved.

find out which other supermodels after the jump

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, there was a lot of blubbering as the wannabes had to pose on the edge of a building and a couple of them almost crapped their pants. There was also some heavy panting as Laura lusted after a Hong Kong action star amidst accusations from the others of sluttery. And if that wasn’t enough drama, Alisha tried to fall on her top model sword for Eboni of all people and offered to go home instead of the pigtailed wonder. Tyrant was not amused. She sent them both packing. Crazy! Almost as crazy as Kelly Cutrone’s ongoing hate-on for Annaliese. How many times will Laura say sex? Will Annaliese be able to convince Kelly that she’s a model? Can Sophie rebound from her fear-filled photoshoot? Only three wannabes remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Here we go folks… the penultimate episode that will decide the final two of one of the most lackluster Cycles on record. Ratings are down, our patience with Tyrant is running razor thin, the photoshoots were average with only a couple standouts, the drama was artificial, and there were a lack of girls to really root for. But hey… that could all change if Sophie wins! Team Sophie. And in the immortal words of Robyn from Cycle 1…. “Oooooooh Jesus”!

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Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the wannabes landed in Macau for this year’s international trip. They’re staying in a pretty swank place but had to endure one the Cycle’s lamest challenges… astrology reading… before throwing on some silk worms for a photo shoot. Tyrant managed to pick a terrible shot of Catherine to justify sending her home over darling Eboni who took one of the worst photos of the entire season. That girl’s neck was nowhere to be seen… one of Top Model’s most deadly sins. Oh Tyrant. You’re so special. And by special I mean transparent and hypocritical. Will Eboni’s pigtails keep her in the game? Can the Brits stay in the lead? Who will get manipulated off the show? Only five girls are left. Who will be eliminated tonight?

So here we are. Down to five. When you look at the girls left… does anyone other than Sophie or Laura even have a shot? Granted, it should’ve been AzMarie, but she got kicked off because she pissed off Tyrant and didn’t booty tooch. The thing is, AzMarie’s “brand” was androgynous and probably shouldn’t have been booty tooching according to Tyrant’s book of nonsense. If one of the blondes goes home tonight, I’ll lose it. You have been warned.

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Previously on America’s Next Top Model, we actually got a pretty reasonable episode considering all the nonsense Tyrant has been throwing our way lately. Seymone FINALLY got the boot after weeks of vapid mediocrity and we got to see all the girls model… like actually model. Not sure who brought the Dorchester Collection Fashion Prize into the mix (probably Kelly Cutrone), but it was awesome to see the wannabes compete with each other to open a collection. And then, we even got an original photo shoot courtesy of Hello Kitty. And, Sophie is on a roll! Maybe this Cycle could turn around! Yeah right. This week, they’re off to Asia. How many of the wannabes will actually know where Macau is? Will Tyrant make them speak Cantonese… or even Portuguese? Only 6 girls are left. Who will be eliminated tonight?

So this week, the wannabes are off to Macau and it made me think back to all the other international trips… the hits and the misses. Obviously, nothing will EVER top Milan when Shandi cheated on her boyfriend. That phone call is still one of the best moments in reality TV. She was the hottest of ANTM messes. Then there was the oh-so-foreign Maui for the midget cycle. That was definitely the worst. I hope we see some wannabes lost in translation!

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Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the Brits continued on a comeback role as another American got the boot. This time it was the ever-boring and bug-eyed Kyle that failed to impress. The best part of the whole episode had to be listening to Tyrant pile compliments onto Seymone, because we all know how much Tyrant loves to pimp her pet projects, only to see that the fiercely real wannabe was a total disaster in every single background shot she was in. Amazing. Tyrant is clueless. Speaking of clueless… do you think Nigel, Mr. and Miss J saw the epic firing coming? More on that later. How will Tyrant manipulate the results this week? What annoyingly self-serving nonsense will Madame Ego bless us with? How many Cycles must we wait until Tyrant fires herself? Only 7 or something like that remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

First off… supes totes sorry for being so late with this recap. Last week was crazy for me in the real world with work and stuff. You guys are all so awesome for coming back to this recap every week and I’m sorry I didn’t get it done sooner.

Now… Miss Tyrant. Can I get an UGH? What’s the female version of a douche bag? Seriously. You, your manipulations, and choice to steer ANTM away from modelling towards gimmicks and branding has cost you audience loyalty, credibility, and relevance. This latest stunt has everyone I know rolling their eyes and talking about moving on. Is it time? Are we there? I don’t know about all of you, but I’m pretty damn close to letting ANTM go. Sigh.

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