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Movie Review: Battleship

In: Matt, Movies

Wednesday night, my dear friend Amanda and I went to the screening of “Battleship”, the movie based on the board game of the same name. How anyone thought of taking a board game with no characters and developing it into a Hollywood blockbuster is beyond me. The product of this genius is a 131 minute gargantuan alien invasion flick that seems to get lost inside its numerous and uninteresting sub-plots. Imagine Armageddon and Top Gun had a baby.

The majority of the movie happens in Hawaii during a series of naval exercises when alien invaders crash into the Pacific Ocean in response to a beacon sent to a planet closely resembling earth. Other than as a response to the beacon, we are never given much insight into the intentions of the aliens and are instead inundated with the useless sub-plots not even worth mentioning. This mess of a story line all leads up to a group of WWII vets wearing aviators walking in slow motion to ACDC’s “Thunderstruck” as they come to save the day by fighting on their OWN ship, which happens to be a museum. Honestly, I’m not making this shit up. We were practically pissing ourselves.

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Movie Review: The Avengers

In: Movies, Tommy D

Today is the day! This is a movie that pretty much every comic book or superhero nerd has been waiting for. After a while bunch of movies of the individual characters and so many years of planning, the mega motion picture THE AVENGERS hits theatres…and I got to see a special advance screening of it.

Going into the Avengers I had to leave a few things at the door.

  • 1. The Captain American movie was meh at best.
  • 2. Black Widow was GARBAGE in Iron Man 2 with absolutely no Russian accent
  • 3. BOTH Hulk movies were terrible and a complete waste of time.

I left those three major points at the door and went into The Avengers with my nerd family, if there were any three people that deserved to see this movie it was them. Let me tell you we were not disappointed.

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Movie Review: Wrath Of The Titans

In: Movies, Patrick

A few days ago, Tyrell and I attended a pre-screening of ‘Wrath Of The Titans‘ in 3D, which hits theatres tonight. It has been two years since ‘Clash Of The Titans‘ (which I also reviewed) was in theatres.

Starring the sexy Sam Worthington as Perseus, son of Zeus, the film takes place a decade after where the last one left off. The Gods are in serious trouble and need Perseus to stop living as your Average Joe and use his powers to defend the Gods… and all of humanity. It takes a bit of convincing because he doesn’t want to leave his son, Helius. At the end of the day, a God had got to do what a God has to do.

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Movie Review: John Carter, Apathy and Aliens!

In: Adam, Movies

Right away, I’m gonna straight up tell you the truth: I ACTUALLY kinda liked this “John Carter”. Though to many who don’t know me you’ll wonder why I feel that’s such an odd thing for me to say, but it straight up is. I’m more typically known as the indie movie hunter of Homorazzi and often all things hugely mainstream get kicked to the side and mocked for their over-hype and false bravado. Specifically, I wrote a diatribe on “Avatar” and described the many ways it made no sense and why it sucked, so, coming into a film who’s premise didn’t sound hugely differently from its Blue-bodied predecessor, I was skeptical to say the very least. And, boy was I pleasantly surprised.

Not one for spoilers, I’ll very simply describe the plot as an old-London John Wayne/Indiana Jones meets aliens from Mars on their planet and is reluctantly forced into the middle of a battle to save their planet. Honestly, you don’t need to know much more than that to understand the basic premise, but trust me, if that at ALL seems like something you’d be into then go for it cause the plot just gets better from there. Oh, and the lead character- Taylor Kitsch- is F-ING crazy-body hot. Nuff’ said.

Click through to see some pics of the hottie in action, the film’s trailer and an EXCLUSIVE 10 minute preview of the beginning of the movie

Movie Review: This Means War

In: Movies, Patrick

Today, This Means War hits theatres as the token Valentine’s Day comedy for 2012. The film stars Reese Witherspoon who after struggling to get back into the dating scene finds herself now double-dating and trying to choose between two great guys, played by Chris Pine and Tom Hardy. Oh yeah, and both men are spies but in true spy fashion, they do not divulge this information to her.

I’ll let you know right away, the film isn’t something to write home about: It’s super cheesy & ridiculous. As the movie kicked off, I thought I was watching Reese Witherspoon in the courtroom scene of Legally Blonde, where she was using the technical terms that relate to hair perms. In this film, she works in product testing and focus groups so that’s where the jargon she uses in this film comes from. That being said, as long as you know that the film is not to be taken seriously going into it, it can actually be quite entertaining.

Rest of my review after the jump…

Movie Review: Chronicle

In: Movies, Patrick

Earlier this week, Tyrell and I caught a pre-screen Chronicle, which opens in theatres today, and here are my thoughts on the modern take on a superhero movie. The film follows three high school friends after they gain superpowers after having made an incredible discovery they can’t explain. Set in Seattle, the film starts out with Andrew (Dane DeHaan), establishing the fact that he’s going to start recording everything that is going on in his life which his new video camera. This is before anything happens regarding superpowers. We see some of the challenges he goes through in his life with bullying, as well as some unfortunate situations at home.

When Andrew and his two friends (played by Michael B. Jordan and Alex Russell) make an incredible discovery, they soon learn that they are capable of telekinesis and as a result, form an incredible bond with each other. As the boys continue to learn what they are capable of, their powers gets stronger (similar to working out your muscles at the gym). Keep in mind that these guys are only teenagers… and boys will be boys (even with superpowers).

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Movie Review: Joyful Noise

In: Donovan, Movies

Ever wonder what “Sister Act” would like look like in a post-”Glee” world? Go watch “Joyful Noise” this weekend and you’ll find out. The musical film starring Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton combines ingredients from the classic film and popular television show to create an entertaining film. Not the best movie I’ve seen, but it kept me captivated for most of it.

The film focuses on a church choir group’s journey to the annual national “Joyful Noise” choir competition. Sectionals anyone? Along the way they face a few obstacles ranging from the untimely death of the choir director, financial hardship facing their small town to internal power struggles within the church choir.

For a film in this genre, I expected it to last in the 90 minute range. Instead, it had a running time of almost two hours. No beuno. The producers would’ve been better served if they didn’t have so stories going in. It was like watching several movies within one. The editors definitely needed to be more cutthroat in the editing room. In addition, a couple of the musical numbers could’ve been axed, especially Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton’s respective solo performances. I get it was probably part of their contract, but both didn’t do anything to propel the main plot forward. That being said, it shocked me that one of the best singers in the movie didn’t even sing one note. Jesse L. Martin of “Law & Order” fame appeared as Latifah’s husband, yet didn’t show off his vocal prowess. If you watched “Rent“, you know Martin has a powerful set of pipes.

what I liked/loved after the jump

Movie Review: Contraband

In: Movies, Tyrell

On Wednesday night, Patrick and I checked out a preview of Contraband starring Mark Wahlberg and Kate Beckinsale. We both hadn’t really done our research on the film and weren’t 100% sure what we were about to see. I was both shocked and excited once the movie immediately kicked into high gear with a storyline that was easy to follow yet left you on the edge of your seat. Both Patrick and I left the theatre feeling really tense as the movie keeps you on edge the entire time. Here is a synopsis of the film:

Contraband is an action-thriller about a man trying to stay out of a world he worked hard to leave behind and the family he’ll do anything to protect. Set in New Orleans, the film explores the cutthroat underground world of international smuggling – full of desperate criminals and corrupt officials, high-stakes and big payoffs-where loyalty rarely exists and death is one wrong turn away.

Chris Farraday (Wahlberg) long ago abandoned his life of crime, but after his brother-in-law, Andy (Caleb Landry Jones), botches a drug deal for his ruthless boss, Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi), Chris is forced back into doing what he does best-running contraband-to settle Andy’s debt. Chris is a legendary smuggler and quickly assembles a crew with the help of his best friend, Sebastian (Ben Foster), to head to Panama and return with millions in counterfeit bills. Things quickly fall apart and with only hours to reach the cash. Check out the film’s trailer and my overall rating below.

Contraband’s trailer and my overall rating after the jump.

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