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Movie Review: Men In Black 3

In: Matt, Movies

The third, and apparently not final, installment of Will Smith’s highly successful Men in Black series came out today and Nic and I were lucky enough to catch a sneak peek on Wednesday night. I have to admit, going into the theatre I assumed that this was just another attempt to revitalize a series with the addition of 3D, a surefire way to draw a crowd and make a few bucks. Luckily this wasn’t the case. Side note: Can I just say how nice it is to see Smith finally back on the screen four years after 2008’s “Seven Pounds” disaster? Am I right?

Anyways, Smith returns as the chatty Agent J, and Tommy Lee Jones, who looks older than ever, reprises his role as the surly and unemotional Agent K, although he is hardly in the film. The film opens up with Jermaine Clement as Boris the Animal (more Tim Curry than I was ready for) escaping from a high security alien prison on the moon. Having lost his arm to Agent K more than 40 years ago, his main priority is to go back in time and rewrite history by killing Agent K before he loses his arm and is imprisoned on the moon. This leads agent J to time-jump back to 1969 by literally jumping off of the Chrysler Building, which, in 3D was actually pretty incredible to look at.

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New to DVD and iTunes this month is gay romantic comedy, ‘eCupid‘. Tyrell and I watched the JC Calciano (Is It Just Me?) directed film over the weekend and I quite enjoyed it. An interesting fact is that JC Calciano is also the man behind the ‘Steam Room Stories‘ videos we have come to love.

Here’s what it’s about: Marshall (Houston Rhines) is an extremely handsome over-worked ad exec who is suffering from a serious case of the seven-year itch with his loving boyfriend (Noah Schuffman). Sidenote: During a sequence showing the hardworking couple at home, they’re both on their laptops or phones in between looking up at the TV. It’s totally ridiculous, but realistic because Tyrell and I totally saw ourselves in that sequence. We need to fix that! Lol. Anyway, as Marshall’s 30th birthday nears, he is feeling determined to change his life when comes across a dating app of some sort called ‘eCupid‘. Uh-oh – trouble. When his BF finds out, the truth comes to light and it’s the end their relationship. From there, guys start lining up to get a piece of Marshall.

Marshall has guys knocking on his door, an intern (who was so annoying) hitting on him at work, and more. It seems the more and more things change, the more he wants them to go back to what they were. By the end of the movie, he realizes that the old cliche is true: “You don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it.” Morgan Fairchild even makes a cameo appearance at the end as a waitress named Venus who shares her own advice as well: “Relationships are work. You make a life together. No one hands it to you.” So true!

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Movie Review: Battleship

In: Matt, Movies

Wednesday night, my dear friend Amanda and I went to the screening of “Battleship”, the movie based on the board game of the same name. How anyone thought of taking a board game with no characters and developing it into a Hollywood blockbuster is beyond me. The product of this genius is a 131 minute gargantuan alien invasion flick that seems to get lost inside its numerous and uninteresting sub-plots. Imagine Armageddon and Top Gun had a baby.

The majority of the movie happens in Hawaii during a series of naval exercises when alien invaders crash into the Pacific Ocean in response to a beacon sent to a planet closely resembling earth. Other than as a response to the beacon, we are never given much insight into the intentions of the aliens and are instead inundated with the useless sub-plots not even worth mentioning. This mess of a story line all leads up to a group of WWII vets wearing aviators walking in slow motion to ACDC’s “Thunderstruck” as they come to save the day by fighting on their OWN ship, which happens to be a museum. Honestly, I’m not making this shit up. We were practically pissing ourselves.

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Movie Review: The Avengers

In: Movies, Tommy D

Today is the day! This is a movie that pretty much every comic book or superhero nerd has been waiting for. After a while bunch of movies of the individual characters and so many years of planning, the mega motion picture THE AVENGERS hits theatres…and I got to see a special advance screening of it.

Going into the Avengers I had to leave a few things at the door.

  • 1. The Captain American movie was meh at best.
  • 2. Black Widow was GARBAGE in Iron Man 2 with absolutely no Russian accent
  • 3. BOTH Hulk movies were terrible and a complete waste of time.

I left those three major points at the door and went into The Avengers with my nerd family, if there were any three people that deserved to see this movie it was them. Let me tell you we were not disappointed.

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Movie Review: Wrath Of The Titans

In: Movies, Patrick

A few days ago, Tyrell and I attended a pre-screening of ‘Wrath Of The Titans‘ in 3D, which hits theatres tonight. It has been two years since ‘Clash Of The Titans‘ (which I also reviewed) was in theatres.

Starring the sexy Sam Worthington as Perseus, son of Zeus, the film takes place a decade after where the last one left off. The Gods are in serious trouble and need Perseus to stop living as your Average Joe and use his powers to defend the Gods… and all of humanity. It takes a bit of convincing because he doesn’t want to leave his son, Helius. At the end of the day, a God had got to do what a God has to do.

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Movie Review: John Carter, Apathy and Aliens!

In: Adam, Movies

Right away, I’m gonna straight up tell you the truth: I ACTUALLY kinda liked this “John Carter”. Though to many who don’t know me you’ll wonder why I feel that’s such an odd thing for me to say, but it straight up is. I’m more typically known as the indie movie hunter of Homorazzi and often all things hugely mainstream get kicked to the side and mocked for their over-hype and false bravado. Specifically, I wrote a diatribe on “Avatar” and described the many ways it made no sense and why it sucked, so, coming into a film who’s premise didn’t sound hugely differently from its Blue-bodied predecessor, I was skeptical to say the very least. And, boy was I pleasantly surprised.

Not one for spoilers, I’ll very simply describe the plot as an old-London John Wayne/Indiana Jones meets aliens from Mars on their planet and is reluctantly forced into the middle of a battle to save their planet. Honestly, you don’t need to know much more than that to understand the basic premise, but trust me, if that at ALL seems like something you’d be into then go for it cause the plot just gets better from there. Oh, and the lead character- Taylor Kitsch- is F-ING crazy-body hot. Nuff’ said.

Click through to see some pics of the hottie in action, the film’s trailer and an EXCLUSIVE 10 minute preview of the beginning of the movie

Movie Review: This Means War

In: Movies, Patrick

Today, This Means War hits theatres as the token Valentine’s Day comedy for 2012. The film stars Reese Witherspoon who after struggling to get back into the dating scene finds herself now double-dating and trying to choose between two great guys, played by Chris Pine and Tom Hardy. Oh yeah, and both men are spies but in true spy fashion, they do not divulge this information to her.

I’ll let you know right away, the film isn’t something to write home about: It’s super cheesy & ridiculous. As the movie kicked off, I thought I was watching Reese Witherspoon in the courtroom scene of Legally Blonde, where she was using the technical terms that relate to hair perms. In this film, she works in product testing and focus groups so that’s where the jargon she uses in this film comes from. That being said, as long as you know that the film is not to be taken seriously going into it, it can actually be quite entertaining.

Rest of my review after the jump…

Movie Review: Chronicle

In: Movies, Patrick

Earlier this week, Tyrell and I caught a pre-screen Chronicle, which opens in theatres today, and here are my thoughts on the modern take on a superhero movie. The film follows three high school friends after they gain superpowers after having made an incredible discovery they can’t explain. Set in Seattle, the film starts out with Andrew (Dane DeHaan), establishing the fact that he’s going to start recording everything that is going on in his life which his new video camera. This is before anything happens regarding superpowers. We see some of the challenges he goes through in his life with bullying, as well as some unfortunate situations at home.

When Andrew and his two friends (played by Michael B. Jordan and Alex Russell) make an incredible discovery, they soon learn that they are capable of telekinesis and as a result, form an incredible bond with each other. As the boys continue to learn what they are capable of, their powers gets stronger (similar to working out your muscles at the gym). Keep in mind that these guys are only teenagers… and boys will be boys (even with superpowers).

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