When Donovan asked me to go see Magic Mike I’ll admit I had my reservations. As much as I love nearly naked men as much as the next gay, I didn’t really think there could possibly be a movie with this much hip thrusting and sweaty men that I would want to be watching in public. Fortunately, what I expected to have me asking for my dollar bills back at the end of the night turned out to be a highly entertaining movie with a gratifying storyline, semi-solid cast, and throbbing beats that made me want to get out of my seat and take my clothes off… almost.
Channing Tatum stars in this film, which is loosely based on his experience as a stripper after dropping out of high school. In this version of the story, Alex Pettyfer (Beastly, I Am Number Four) stars as the young kid Adam, while Tatum portrays the 30-something male stripper and titular character Mike. The two meet while working on a contruction site and while hesitant at first, Mike takes the kid under his wings and introduces him to the highly profitable world of male stripping.
Shortly after being thrust on stage, and awkwardly removing his clothes to “Like a Virgin” while high on GHB, Adam is thrown into full rotation at Xquisite, the local male strip club. He begins taking lessons from Dallas , the club’s owner, emcee and former stripper who is played by Matthew McConaughey. Adam soon learns how to twist, pump, thrust and gyrate his way to that next dollar. He is soon deep in a world where the money, drugs, and women come quicker and faster than you did your first time *wink*.
BRAVE is the latest Disney/Pixar baby that came out this week and like all their other movies it promised to be an incredible tale with an amazing heroine at the helm of a family picture. Were they right?
I didn’t know much about this movie before it came out other than the heroine Princess Merida had a WICKED head of red hair and is proficient with a boy and arrow. The previews really didn’t give you much information about the film so going into it I was incredibly curious as to what it was about.
BRAVE is the story of a Scottish royal family in the 10thish century. Their first born Merida is princess and instead of growing up as her mother wishes (to be proper and act like a princess should act) Merida has a fondness for hunting, archery, riding horses and getting into mischief. As she gets older she grows even more independent even though it is time for her to choose a suitor from one of the three other clans. For the right suitor to be chosen they had to compete in a tournament, she of course chose archery because she had a plan. She wanted to compete for her own hand. It is here where the conflict arises with her mother who is the pillar of tradition in the family. After the tournament her and her mother have a huge blowup and it is here that Merida finds the house of a witch. She told the witch she wants to change her mother, and change her life.
The third, and apparently not final, installment of Will Smith’s highly successful Men in Black series came out today and Nic and I were lucky enough to catch a sneak peek on Wednesday night. I have to admit, going into the theatre I assumed that this was just another attempt to revitalize a series with the addition of 3D, a surefire way to draw a crowd and make a few bucks. Luckily this wasn’t the case. Side note: Can I just say how nice it is to see Smith finally back on the screen four years after 2008’s “Seven Pounds” disaster? Am I right?
Anyways, Smith returns as the chatty Agent J, and Tommy Lee Jones, who looks older than ever, reprises his role as the surly and unemotional Agent K, although he is hardly in the film. The film opens up with Jermaine Clement as Boris the Animal (more Tim Curry than I was ready for) escaping from a high security alien prison on the moon. Having lost his arm to Agent K more than 40 years ago, his main priority is to go back in time and rewrite history by killing Agent K before he loses his arm and is imprisoned on the moon. This leads agent J to time-jump back to 1969 by literally jumping off of the Chrysler Building, which, in 3D was actually pretty incredible to look at.
New to DVD and iTunes this month is gay romantic comedy, ‘eCupid‘. Tyrell and I watched the JC Calciano (Is It Just Me?) directed film over the weekend and I quite enjoyed it. An interesting fact is that JC Calciano is also the man behind the ‘Steam Room Stories‘ videos we have come to love.
Here’s what it’s about: Marshall (Houston Rhines) is an extremely handsome over-worked ad exec who is suffering from a serious case of the seven-year itch with his loving boyfriend (Noah Schuffman). Sidenote: During a sequence showing the hardworking couple at home, they’re both on their laptops or phones in between looking up at the TV. It’s totally ridiculous, but realistic because Tyrell and I totally saw ourselves in that sequence. We need to fix that! Lol. Anyway, as Marshall’s 30th birthday nears, he is feeling determined to change his life when comes across a dating app of some sort called ‘eCupid‘. Uh-oh – trouble. When his BF finds out, the truth comes to light and it’s the end their relationship. From there, guys start lining up to get a piece of Marshall.
Marshall has guys knocking on his door, an intern (who was so annoying) hitting on him at work, and more. It seems the more and more things change, the more he wants them to go back to what they were. By the end of the movie, he realizes that the old cliche is true: “You don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it.” Morgan Fairchild even makes a cameo appearance at the end as a waitress named Venus who shares her own advice as well: “Relationships are work. You make a life together. No one hands it to you.” So true!
Wednesday night, my dear friend Amanda and I went to the screening of “Battleship”, the movie based on the board game of the same name. How anyone thought of taking a board game with no characters and developing it into a Hollywood blockbuster is beyond me. The product of this genius is a 131 minute gargantuan alien invasion flick that seems to get lost inside its numerous and uninteresting sub-plots. Imagine Armageddon and Top Gun had a baby.
The majority of the movie happens in Hawaii during a series of naval exercises when alien invaders crash into the Pacific Ocean in response to a beacon sent to a planet closely resembling earth. Other than as a response to the beacon, we are never given much insight into the intentions of the aliens and are instead inundated with the useless sub-plots not even worth mentioning. This mess of a story line all leads up to a group of WWII vets wearing aviators walking in slow motion to ACDC’s “Thunderstruck” as they come to save the day by fighting on their OWN ship, which happens to be a museum. Honestly, I’m not making this shit up. We were practically pissing ourselves.
Today is the day! This is a movie that pretty much every comic book or superhero nerd has been waiting for. After a while bunch of movies of the individual characters and so many years of planning, the mega motion picture THE AVENGERS hits theatres…and I got to see a special advance screening of it.
Going into the Avengers I had to leave a few things at the door.
I left those three major points at the door and went into The Avengers with my nerd family, if there were any three people that deserved to see this movie it was them. Let me tell you we were not disappointed.
A few days ago, Tyrell and I attended a pre-screening of ‘Wrath Of The Titans‘ in 3D, which hits theatres tonight. It has been two years since ‘Clash Of The Titans‘ (which I also reviewed) was in theatres.
Starring the sexy Sam Worthington as Perseus, son of Zeus, the film takes place a decade after where the last one left off. The Gods are in serious trouble and need Perseus to stop living as your Average Joe and use his powers to defend the Gods… and all of humanity. It takes a bit of convincing because he doesn’t want to leave his son, Helius. At the end of the day, a God had got to do what a God has to do.
Right away, I’m gonna straight up tell you the truth: I ACTUALLY kinda liked this “John Carter”. Though to many who don’t know me you’ll wonder why I feel that’s such an odd thing for me to say, but it straight up is. I’m more typically known as the indie movie hunter of Homorazzi and often all things hugely mainstream get kicked to the side and mocked for their over-hype and false bravado. Specifically, I wrote a diatribe on “Avatar” and described the many ways it made no sense and why it sucked, so, coming into a film who’s premise didn’t sound hugely differently from its Blue-bodied predecessor, I was skeptical to say the very least. And, boy was I pleasantly surprised.
Not one for spoilers, I’ll very simply describe the plot as an old-London John Wayne/Indiana Jones meets aliens from Mars on their planet and is reluctantly forced into the middle of a battle to save their planet. Honestly, you don’t need to know much more than that to understand the basic premise, but trust me, if that at ALL seems like something you’d be into then go for it cause the plot just gets better from there. Oh, and the lead character- Taylor Kitsch- is F-ING crazy-body hot. Nuff’ said.