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Is Racial Preference Racism?

In: Adam, Politics & Issues, Totally GAY!

For sad single years now, I’ve been cruisin’ for a bruisin’ (you know where ;) using all the available online resources.Grindr one day showed me a picture of a young black guy who had posted a smiling picture of himself with some interesting stats to accompany the profile: “Age 20, 5″10, 150 lbs… white”. Upon seeing this I burst out laughing at the sheer oddity of it.

To give it some context, your profile on the gay, hookup, iPhone app Grindr has a default of no ethnicity so one must choose to post what race they are and second, the “slipped finger” excuse doesn’t apply here as the “black” response has 5 different options between it and “white”. Realizing this choice was more than likely made on purpose I reasoned it was okay to post a screen shot of this scene to my facebook to find out what people deduced was the reasoning. Just as I was about to post it however, I wondered: “Is it racist to laugh at this?” I know me, and I know I’m not a racist person but am- like the rest of the world- sensitive to the issue and always try to think before I speak and act on issues of race, religion and ethnicity. In the end, I of course posted the pic and got a handful of fun and non-hateful comments from my friends regarding it. But, the whole situation caused me to think about race and dating on the internet.

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A new study from Community Healthcare Network (a New York City-based nonprofit that provides medical services and outreach and education programs to 75,000 individuals a year) was released this week that reports on the attitudes and knowledge about HIV/AIDS of men who have sex with men (MSM) and who meet their partners through the use of social networking apps (ie: Grindr, Scruff, Manhunt, and Growlr).

According to the study (titled: “Zero Feet Away: Perspective on HIV/AIDS and Unprotected Sex in Men Who Have Sex with Men Utilizing Location-based Mobile Apps,” nearly half of surveyed gay and bisexual men are knowledgeable about HIV/AIDS, and are afraid of getting infected or re-infected with the virus, yet regardless they admit to participating in risk-taking activities like unprotected anal intercourse.

In total, 725 people who use the aforementioned apps were surveyed and they found that there was a clear disconnect between why men still engage in unprotected sex and the way prevention attempts try to address changing this behavior. Read the bulleted list of their findings below.

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I WANT YOUR OPINION on this:

Does omitting facts in your profile constitute as being deceitful?

Or, is it just clever marketing by the boys out there who feel they’d rather not advertise it all on first appearance/click of the mouse? The reason I ask is because I was recently commented on in an old post about racial preference as possible racism wherein I still question the drawn in the sand line between prejudice and preference with things like preferring men over women, tall over short, muscle over lean, one race over another… I believe that until you bring hatred or assumptive stereotypes into your reasoning that we aught to be allowed our preferences. I’m okay that some muscle guys don’t want to date a thin guy like myself- it’s not a hate crime- but others see malice and spite in these types of decision.

What this “preference” based decision making has created however- and what I’d like to look at today- is a culture of online deceit/omitting that seems to me to cause a lot more confusion and anger than it does solve problems. Is typing in “I Don’t Know” a fair answer when you really do know. Is skipping out on the eye colour box an attempt to obfuscate your race? Click through and read my experience with this question and PLEASE sound off below!

Click through to read the rest of my opinion and let us know what you think about online omissions!

You may or may not have a Manhunt account depending on your relationship status, but everyone can hookup hangup one of their 2012 calendars. With winter suddenly kicking into high gear, save money on your heating bill by heating up a room with this latest calendar by the talented Spanish photographer, Juan Pablo Santamaria.

Santamaria is actually the same photographer who shot the Manhunt Mobile ad/billboard that created such controversy in Los Angeles. The picture was used for the back cover in this calendar. Also, since the ad was so successful, Manhunt put it up all over New York and even had it in Time Square during New Year’s Eve.

I’m not certain where the calendar is available to purchase as of yet, but you can check out more photos and behind the scenes video footage from the shoot below.

Behind the scenes video after the jump…

I started off this post as a “Behind the Cast” which for those who aren’t frequenters of the site means it’s an article about something going on in my personal life. And, while that category fits, I decided to change it to the broader category of all-things-gay because I realized this isn’t just an issue that I’ve faced.

Basically, I’m here asking: “Why is it okay to hate the skinny gay?”

Since birth, I’ve been thin. Never had to work for it and never “escaped” it either: my weight (and very likely high metabolism) have been extremely constant throughout my 28 years. Growing up in the 80s and 90s it was frequent to hear the overweight kids get non-stop abuse in the school yard and on the weekends: today, that has definitely taken a shift. While of course there is continual bias against fat people, a shift in the mean body size of Americans and Canadians towards an all-time extreme high has seen the world and public institutions try to become more and more PC and faster to react to hatred against hate speech regarding overweight kids. As a gay, adult male, I’ve seen this shift in our culture as well. Sure, you’ll hear the whispered comment about the overweight guy stuffed into a pair of 32′s, but overall, what’s acceptable to say to each other and out loud is very different.

Personally, I have friends from all walks of life: different ages, races, heights and importantly, different sizes. Some of my friends are very much the “muscle types” in our group while others are content calling themselves “average” in weight: still, others hit the polar ends of the spectrum and range from what would be considered very overweight to very skinny. Now, maybe it’s just my friends (though, I’m not exactly just polling 13 people here), but I can honestly tell you that the only ones ever commented on in a negative or “this is what you need to fix” way are the skinny boys and to a much lesser extent the average size guys. The gym bunnies and fat friends are left without a mark. I don’t understand it at all.

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Dating: “Hit the Road Jack!”

In: Reader Submissions
gay-dating

Is there a nice way to tell someone you have gone on a date with that your not interested?

So I have recently become single again, after the end of my 3 year relationship and am hitting the dating scene again, and to be honest, it has not been a great experience so far! I’m not in a rush to get into another relationship, just need something to keep my mind off my ex, keep me busy and it can’t hurt to get back out there and meet some new people. A little fun couldn’t hurt either, if you know what I mean, ha!

I have been doing some online dating, its challenging to say the least, but I did meet my ex online so there is some hope. I went on a few dates over the past few weeks – the first one went really well actually however I just wasn’t feeling ANY attraction at all, which is not a good sign right? So after the date, he said “we should do this again” which I responded to with “yea, for sure!” as I was still not sure how I felt about him at that point. He followed up with several messages afterwards and when he asked to see me again, I let him know that I just wasn’t feeling it, but it was good meeting him. He responded with a big, bitchy “Whatever” and didn’t say another word. Rude.

The next guy was WAY too old for me, like “Daddy” old, and I was just hoping he didn’t ask to see me again at the end of date, which thankfully he didn’t, and I just followed up online afterwards. I told him I wasn’t feeling it and it was great to meet him and he responded really well with a similar response – perfect!

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Let’s just get it right out of the way: Manhunt for the iPhone isn’t going to be called Assfinder… … … How many times have I had to type that sentence out? :)

In response to some content issues faced by horny boys attempting to “hunt” it up while on the move with nothing but a hardon and a their iPhone in pocket, the ferociously popular gay hookup/dating site Manhunt.net is creating a mobile site specific to iPhone’s browser type and restrictions. Entitled “Manhunt GPS”, this thing will enable you faster access to boys in your locale and avoid past issues users have had when simply accessing the Manhunt site through their safari browser.

This new concept was recently misrepred’ on a few blogs so the CMO of the company has published a clear statement concerning the specifics of this new release. To make it clear, it ain’t gonna be called Assfinder, that’s just the gist of what it’s gonna do for ya ;) hahah.. oh and it’s the internal project name as well (that just sounds less cool to say).

Click through to read their official statement

DaddyHunt.com: Bring on the MEN!

In: Adam, Gadgets & Tech, Totally GAY!
daddyhunt-dating-site

On my last trip down to sunny LA I was at a terribly hungover lunch with our Cali-friend Hugo who was meeting me for the first time. As it does with nearly every meal I attend, the talk turned to sex and fetishes :) Rolling their eyes, Donovan and Patrick informed the newcomer of a predilection I have earned a bit of a reputation for over the past few years: an interest for men of a certain age and build.

Basically, I’ve got a bit of a thing for the daddies. Now, don’t get me wrong, a muscled, late 20-something is great and good, but I can’t say no to a big ol’ sturdy hunk of bearded man: the quintessential daddy. So, upon hearing this, Hugo informed me about a site made for boys like me: DaddyHunt.com. Clearly, the moment we got back to the hotel, I asked to borrow Donovan’s computer to “check my facebook”… and 4 minutes later my daddy huntin’ profile was up and running.

Click through to read my review of this site

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