jennifer lopez

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I’ll admit right now that I wrote the title of this article before I even watched the episode and based it purely on the choice to use the songbook of [eye roll] Billy Joel. Wow. Seriously? First we do Stevie Wonder for the boys, then Birthday Year tunes and now Billy Joel? Holy crap, you’d think with all the money behind this show that they’d actually be able to gather up some RELEVANT songs for these poor kids to actually appeal to audience with. I’m guaranteeing you that 90% of the voting audience- 11 to 14 year olds- have NO clue what more than half these songs are. Oh well, just another failed decision and dated choice by the rotting skeleton that is exec producer Nigel Lythgoe who likely thought Billy J was the “bee’s knees” when he was younger.

I’m going to resist picking up my rant from last week as the judges suddenly add “Sing for Your Life” and that they’re the new deciders of who stays who goes or that apparently boys vs. girls isn’t a thing anymore, rather focus on tonight’s performances and see if there’s anything worth saving from this episode. You know, like some actual talent and good performances? Do those still even matter ? P Diddy- is that what he calls himself these days- is the mentor and I’m less than enthused considering his style is SO polar to everyone on that stage but who knows, oh and Tommy Hilfiger is back with “fashion advice”- HA. Let’s take a deep breath and see!

Click through to see the performances and read my review of the night!

Well, we’re still here: and so are more than a couple singers who really don’t deserve to be. So far this season has brought us plagues, pageant moms, tragic falsettos, busted criminals and a couple good songs; you’d think the ratings might reflect what sounds like interesting drama. But alas, this is a singing competition and as the singing has often blowed thus far, the stats on viewership are waaay down. Once the most popular damn thing on TV, Idol has slipped steadily for the last 5 seasons to an all-time low, and do you know why? Well, a lot of reasons, but if you’ve been following my reviews or the show itself these recent years you’d know that it’s become a pageantry of commercialism, false drama and produced moments.

So, where has tonight brought us? Well, there’s more than a couple kiddos due to be up on the block as far as last night’s sad songs are concerned and we have some performances by Chris Daughtry, Demi Lovato and (wait for it) “SNL” crash and burn tradegy Lana Del Rey– just how rich IS this bitch’s dad? I’m here tonight to hopefully see the reinstatement of: “Sing For Your Life” if the judges decide to hear out the least voted for’s one more time and for sure to see someone I can’t stand going home: please be Shannon or Heejun. Well, let’s get to it and see how tonight goes!

Click through to see my review of the night

I am getting sadder and sadder with this show. And, while me saying that seems to prompt many out there to cry out: “Why the hell do you still watch it?”, well, honestly, because I’m hoping against hope that something might change. Maybe I’m waiting for enough of the still-there crap singers (Shannon and DeAndre) to go, or maybe I’m waiting for the sponsors to threaten to pull advertisement unless British perv and autonomous train wreck Nigel Lythgoe is fired as Executive Producer. Either way, I’ve put in way too many seasons into this show to quit now so you’re gonna have to keep dealing with my rants.

Today’s show was at least a touch spicier with the dramatic expulsion of one of the (worst) singers, Jermaine Jones, for a very checkered, criminal past- but even that was ruined by the show itself as it manages to ruin every aspect of reality left in this thing we call American Idol. Regarding the rest of the kids, well it was god-awful Birthday Week as they sang tunes from the year of their birth (puke) and man oh man did most of them screw that assignment up. I’m not sure if Idol isn’t shelling out enough dough to get real options for these contestants or what, but more that half of tonight was unrecognizable. That said, there were a few goodies, as some of the real talent on this show still manages to shine in this mire of blech. Out of protest for the new discovery from last week that the JUDGES control who goes ultimately every week (why does American even vote!?), I’m not referring to the idiot panel of 3’s opinions this week and who the hell cares what Will-I-Am thinks? Here goes!

Click through to see the performances, the “BUSTING” of Jermaine and read my review of the night!

If you don’t have cable or live outside of the US, you may not yet have seen Jennifer Lopez’s new commercial for Kohl’s department store promoting her newest collection. Filled with music, dancing and a few outfit changes, Jennifer grooves her way through her own rendition of I’ve Got The Music In Me originally (made famous by the Kiki Dee Band in 1974) along with some dancing male companions.

The director behind the lens is none other than Black Swan mastermind Darren Aronofsky who employed the same visual effects with costume changes that he used for Natalie Portman’s epic swan finale. Check out the new commercial below.

Watch Jennifer’s Kohl’s commercial after the jump.

RIGHT AWAY I have to ask: Ryan Seacrest, who the hell did your makeup tonight because you look like Ronald McDonald with that foot height of hair and pancake pale makeup. Second, holy crap, how awful was their group performance? Singing god knows what, the Top 13 prove that just because you slap kids (some) with talent together doesn’t mean you necessarily have the making of an actual band or even a real performance. Their vocals and tones were all over the place and honestly the only two I didn’t want to kill was Elise and Phil because their undeniable voices stood out as unique and poignant where the others got lost in the shuffle. What a terrible start.

As you can see, I’m no nonsense today. As Idol attempts to tell us we’re in for a “real treat” as Boys are pitted vs. Girls only to have the judges ultimately decide who goes home, what we ACTUALLY are getting is Exec Producer (I know, I know, I won’t leave him alone- but for good reason), Nigel Lythgoe saying “Hey America, we don’t want you in charge anymore.” It’s ridiculous how silently they’ve passed off this massive change in the format of this show. American Idol is suppose to be about America’s next Idol as chosen BY America. But, nope. With the rise of sites like “Vote for the Worst” et al., it’s clear to see that the producers don’t want to risk good TV performers going home (you know Nigel is even American… she doesn’t even go to this school!). Please note that I did not say the BEST performers but rather the best TV performers. That’s why people like Brielle and her pageant mom get to have more screen time than they ever ever deserve. But, that rant over: let’s get to the night’s results!

Click through to find out who goes home and read my review of the night


Auditions, Group Week and Boys vs. Girl all over, we’re finally at what Randy, Steven and Jennifer *cough*Executive Producer, Nigel Lythgoe*cough* have decided are the TOP 13 of thousands and thousands of contenders, and all I can say is that they better ba-ring it cause there’s been more than just a few true talents knocked to the wayside these past weeks. Still, while many of my favourite pics have made it this far into the game (see Phil Phils, Erika, Elise and Skylar), there are MORE than enough WTFs entries still in this game (see DeAndre , Shannon and Jermaine) that prove Idol is not strictly talent but includes a dollop of pandering and commercialism to boot. Still, I have faith and I hope it all comes together tonight as the remaining boys and girls take on some pretty damn big names in the industry.

So, yes, Stevie Wonder has had many a hits (I actually have no clue, I’m sure as we watch tonight I’ll come to realize that he’s written way more than I ever knew) but the real attraction of tonight’s episode is the girls as they take on the recently passed and nearly impossible to match Whitney Houston. Having recently re-watched “The Bodyguard”, I’m well-aware of just how epic and huge the songs of Miss Houston are and these girls are gonna have their work cut out for them. Seeing it a bit as a double-edged sword as these covers are going to get them a ton of attention but also that there’s SO much to live up to with Whitney’s extremely recent death, I’m betting the ladies are either going to shine or crash and burn. As far as the boys are concerned, I only really care about my bf Phil and a bit Colton, unless the rest can start manning up their talent and prove they have the chops a lot of these women do. Well, enough rambling, let’s get to the songs!

Click through to see the performances and read my review of the night!

American Idol 11: Top 13 Revealed!

In: Adam, TV Shows

Well, it was the fullest week of Idol we’re gonna get this year: 6 hours of singing, screeching, tears and tragedy and what do we have to show for it? Well, a Top 13 for one, and a whole lotta kids that needed to go are GONE. Tonight’s result show is the culmination of over two dozen final audition attempts by the Top 25 remaining boys and girls in the competition as they vie for America’s attention during this pinnacle week where the chosen few get halved.

If you’ve been following my recaps this week you’ll know that both myself and many of the readers have been incensed at the over-production of grand master exec producer Nigel Lythgoe, annoyed with spurious choreography and showboating, shocked by song doubling and utterly disappointed in the lack of effort and talent put forth by a group of singers titled “America’s Best” by our trio of judges. FINE, yes, there were a few good ones: Phil Phils, Jessica, Erika and Elise (oh, how I’ve forsaken my gender), but overall the ridiculousness far outweighed the brilliance. But, never fear: Elimination Day is here!! I’ve been banking on America to heed my desperate call to cull of so much crap we’ve seen these past few days to what will hopefully be the TOP 13 this show has to offer. So, let’s get to what happened on tonight’s live episode!

Find out who the Top 13 are after the jump…

It’s a new day: a new, parred down group of boys and a new stage as the Idol contestants first perform in front of a live studio in Los Angeles; let’s hot to hell they bring their A-Game. So far, those following my rants and very occasional raves about the progress of these kids have noticed a particularly negative and constantly underwhelmed sense of disappointment from the “talent” we’ve been offered. Particularly as we flush out the nitty gritty stuff like tone, range and song-choice (sorry, but at this stage every decision and mistake counts), I’ve been feeling the contestants have been given far too easy a ride by the oft too-kind judging panel. So, now it’s America’s turn to vote, and I hope I provide a voice to this game that at least one or two of you out there agree with! Today, I’m going to watch the performances with a totally open mind, as if I’d never seen them before, and judge them anew in an attempt to give each newly revamped contender a chance to win me over.

Our numbers this year are jacked to the Top 25 with the boys getting an extra singer as their gender alone take tonight take to the stage to prove themselves the best of the Top 13. Seacrest explains that of the Top 25 who will perform tonight and tomorrow night- the boys then girls respectively- only FIVE from each group will be chosen based on America’s votes as well as THREE WILD CARDS to make the final TOP 13 come this Thursday. It’s always a shock to lose so many singers so fast but hey, that just pumps the pressure to unprecedented levels this week and I demand somethin’ pretty amazing from the boys this odd Tuesday. So, without further adieu…

Recap & performances after the jump…

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