Well FINALLY get to see those performances held just out of our reach last week as we instead were subject to Bitchathon/Pukathon 2012. Today’s article is titled the OFFICIAL Round 2 article as apparently last week’s Thursday counted more as a segue episode that all leads to these final group attempts.
Group Night is always one of the toughest nights for the kids as they struggle to meld Type A personalities into one coalesced mound of talent and keep their voices from crackin’ and losing it to one another on stage. Though we’ll get to see a good amount of tragedy to be sure, there’s always, ALWAYS a strong amount of collectives that stroll out and just dominate the stage. Often because the kids themselves can just tell who the winners are they seek each other out to make sure no anchor will hold them back, the result of that is that the leftovers often have to try and scrape something together at the last second. Speaking of awful groups scraping things together…
Hollywood Week returns and we get the draaaaaaamaaaaaaa of Round 2. Year after year this remains a secret favourite of mine as attitudes are checked and bravado goes out the window, forcing the real personalities of the bitches and bros to finally show as they group up and realize they have to share the spot light… at least for today.
While the singing is less the focus of this ep, the tears more than make up for it by far! Though Donovan has already revealed the Top 12 Girls as well as the Top 12 Guys, I am a purist with reality TV and opt not to peek ahead at internet chatter and leaked hints of things to come. So, all my predictions and ups and downs are of-the-moment and therefore more than likely my faves are without a hope and those I hate seem to always stay. That being said, let’s get to last night’s review and most importantly start with the CRASH of Symone Black off the stage!
THE AUDITIONS ARE FINALLY OVER!! Well, after this final review that is. Typically, the loyal viewers of Idol fall into two groups: those who like the try outs and those who prefer to jump on the wagon once the messes have been sorted. I have always been one to like finding the stars early, before the producers, stylists and makeup men and ladies take hold and change everything about them. So, as we hit the final audition city of St. Louis, I have high hopes that maybe SOMEthing worth a snuff will show up.
A pretty established city for talent and performers who do well enough in past seasons, I’m slightly optimistic going into this but considering the awfulness of the last 6 cities (save for Galveston), that optimism is VERY limited. So, let’s take a deep breath, take a few shots of whatever says at least 80 proof and dive into this the final night of what might go down as the lamest series of auds ever recorded.
A little late in posting, sorry about that folks, but I was so taken aback by the actual appearance of talent in the most recent foray into Texas tunes that I had to sit in astonishment most of today!
Where Aspen was the city that taste and talent forgot, it was proven last night that definitely everything IS bigger (and better!) in Texas! Even the judges themselves seemed to be more/actually aware of the true singers they had in front of them this time around and weren’t just passing out golden tickets like so many 5cent candies.
What I take from this experience is (sorry Nowheresville) that Idol REALLY needs to hit the big cities more often. While I love San D and the hills of Colorado, those aren’t place you go to for talent: those are places you go to drink ;)
Another day, another desperate load of kids hoping to make it big. Maybe Colorado will actually offer us some real contenders this time around for the winners circle! Thus far, as you can read from my reviews, I’ve been pretty unimpressed with the “best singers” as chosen by the judges: good looking, sappy stories and begging seems to be the key to making through to the second round. I need me some ORIGINAL sounds and unique personalities and so far, short of one or two girls I’ve mentioned in past articles, I haven’t seen that star yet.
So, it’s time to try out Aspen. Also, really? Aspen? I’m sure it’s not, but I have this image of a tucked away snowy town that’s only accessible by one, rocky road… I know that makes no sense, but how did the infamous ski slopes of Asp get chosen? I’m honestly starting to question that there isn’t some weird marketing or cross-promotion thing going on behind the scenes but who really cares. Let’s get to what you’re here for: me complaining about the awful auditions.
Well, another city, another 10,000 “hopefuls” fill the audition room in what is quickly becoming my favorite city in the US. – San Diego. Famous (in my opinion) for its perfect weather and amazing gay pride, I’m just hoping that it also holds some talented folks and some epic crazies as Lopez and Tyler (ugh and Seacrest) tease and gel their hair as high as it will go for these Cali residents. Last night’s auditions took place on a jet carrier or something random like that: not REALLY sure what that’s about other than a blatant attempt at faux nationalism but oh well.
No spoilers before the fold, don’t worry, but I will say that the show is really editing down the insanity this season and particularly this episode as we pretty much just see success stories: I guess they’re doing some polling and finding out what people want to see… though, come on, at least ONE tragic queen spitting at the camera or a sassy gal with more extensions than real hair and the three inch lacquered nails to match. Ah well, it was a decent episode: if you’re looking to save time read the summary and see the highlights alone or if you’re looking to see me trash a bunch of “singers” click through for that as well!
Well, Idol survived my first review of the premiere attempt to scour for talent in the Southern heat of Savannah, Georgia, but will the City of Champions (in their first ever AI audition) match up in talent and entertainment? I’m hoping for at least one screaming queen (you know I hate how they represent our people but it’s still hilarious to see them bust down time after time and call momma to tell her she can’t quit the factory quite yet), one proposal from a bumpkin’ to Lopez and a few rants to the camera afterwards- oh, and a “true talent to take it all” blah blah blah. Honestly, it’s the bipolar ones that you need to look out for on this set!
Last night I decided to take off the kid’s gloves since I realized my original article was way too forgiving of over-produced Idol moments, stretched out dramas and barely-there voices that have no real chance to make it but that the “Golden Ticket Moment” is too much of a seller that they couldn’t resist passing them out like so many flavored tic tacs. So, buckle in, cause mean Adam is back and I’m taking no prisoners today!
Well, despite a god awful teaser of Lopez… well, walking… Season 11 of “American Idol” didn’t fail to have some classic AI, entertaining moments as we kick off the season in (do they always start here??) Savannah, Georgia. Home of the extremely young and talented, the gayest of the gays and way too many Steven Tyler fans, though that’s probably just because Georgia- like Australia and India- is about 20 years behind and is only just now hearing about this crazy new rock band called Aerosmith. All together though, they make for a pretty interesting opening show.
While many choose to skip over the auditions and hold out for Vegas week or even “Top 20s” (or whatever random number they go with this year), I’m a beginning to end kind of guy as I love to pick my faves early in the competition though typically the true stars don’t shine till they hit Sin City. You might notice that Donovan is no longer the welcoming face at the top of this article, well, we unanimously came to the decision that since the show is taking on a “kinder image” with Lopez and Tyler falling in love with every fresh face that hits the stage, we’d hit back by having our bitchiest writer- me- take the reins on the reviews. And speaking of…