I never really came out. I was basically yanked out of the closet by my mother one day by asking me indirectly if I was gay. Which I really didn’t have a problem with since I wasn’t intending to come out anyhow. What I was didn’t affect my relationship with my family or my feeling of acceptance.
I was raised a born-again christian most of my life and internally I battled with coming out. My issues were not really so much about what other people thought but what I personally believed was right (ok maybe a little of what people thought but that was secondary). Religion and my beliefs made this battle difficult. Everything I realized that I was, was everything my religion told me was wrong and immoral. Through the years my beliefs have changed…I began to question religion and the many loopholes it had. I mean seriously….if God loves everyone, how come these religious people say he doesn’t love gays? Since when did the word ‘everyone’ have an exception…isn’t that the point of the word is that it encompasses all?
“Wonder if you know you’re on my RadarGaydar, on my RadarGaydar.”
What is Gaydar? Do you have it?
This is just one of those things that’s really hard to explain to my straight friends. I remember having this discussion with my good friend Lisa, with whom I have been friends since grade 9. She (out of nowhere) once asked: “Do you have Gaydar?” I was kind of shocked that she was even familiar with the term. When I told her I did indeed have gaydar, she would ask me every two seconds about every single guy within range… Oh Lisa.
Is age just a “state of mind” when it comes to dating and relationships of more than just a sexual nature? What is an appropriate age gap when it comes to dating someone? Does true love transcend something as trivial as age? Probably not.
There are generational and experiential differences between a 20 year-old and a 50 year-old that make a lasting and genuine relationship a tough sell. When I think about the difference in values between myself and someone old enough to be my father, I honestly don’t see how I could make it work. On the flip side, I also find it difficult to picture myself with someone only 10 years younger than me as well. I experienced so much in my 20′s that shaped me as a person, and I think that until both people in the relationship have gone through that and “discovered” themselves (forgive the cliché), there will be complications in the long run. I’m sure the same could be said for any 10 year span in your life.
For some people, it is a non-issue that is given nary a thought. For others it is something that strikes fear in their eyes as a water-cooler conversation moves away from work and someone brings up what you did on the weekend: afraid you might mix up your pronouns when you’re trying to play it straight. No matter how you slice it, being gay in a corporate environment is an complicated experience to navigate.
J.J. Abrams is directing a new Star Trek movie that’s coming out May 8th of this year. I’m not a huge Trekkie, but I am a fan, and I’ll definitely be going to see it.
ST: The Next generation was a favourite t.v. series growing up. Here’s a great mash-up I found on YouTube that shows Captain Picard in a whole new light:
Sigh, I wish Riker would look at me like that.
For those of you up in Northern, BC that were up early this morning, you may already know I had a live radio interview with CBC Radio One on the Daybreak North show, speaking to reporter Betsy Trumpener all about Homorazzi.com, growing up in a small town in Northern, BC, and my coming out experience.
Well, here’s is the clip. It’s a tad over six minutes, and I’ve incorporated a little photo album to go along with it.
You can also check out the interview on the Official Daybreak North on www.cbc.ca.
This year will be my 5th year in Out For Kicks Soccer Club (OFK), Vancouver’s GLBT soccer club. For three of my five years, I have served as a member of the board, twice with Topher who also plays in the league. A couple years back, Adam- whom I did not know at the time- joined the league and we ended up playing on the same team toward the end of the season. His first impression of me was that I was (a) Mexican and (b) a bitch. I’m actually not Mexican (I’m French) and I’m certainly not a bitch. He now knows it was because I can be shy at first. Adam and I- along with Topher- served on the board of directors.
After having connected properly with Adam, I then met a lot of his friends and soon became close with them all. Many of said boys make up the Homorazzi cast! At the time though, I was the new guy- I was dating Jamie at the time. Shortly after becoming friends with them, I met Jonny and introduced him to everyone as well! [A bit of history on how some of us came to be friends]! There’s a story for everyone.
For those of you that know me, you know that I can’t cook. Well, I’m not sure the problem is is that I can’t cook- I just don’t. I never really got into the habit of it. My roommate Landon LOVES cooking- which works out well for me- but I just can’t seem to return the favor. When I was with my ex Jake, he also loved to cook and my favorite was his mean HOMEMADE Mac & Cheese that he used to make me the night before I’d make my trek back to Vancouver from Seattle. When I was with Jamie, we used to eat boring- but healthy- food all the time. I would say that Jamie and I are similar when it comes to cooking experience. Much of that has to do with eating a lot of vegetarian foods, as Jamie didn’t eat red meat or meat in general, for a huge chunk of our relationship.
I want to cook more. It’s good for health reasons, and I also think it’s a turn on when someone can cook. So I’m asking you:
1. What are the basics I should keep at home in terms of ingredients so that I can spice up my diet?
2. Do you have yummy, inexpensive, but health-conscious recipes that are easy to make?