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TMI With Joan Rivers

In: Patrick, Random Reads, Videos

Last week, Donovan and Alex attended SVEDKA Vodka’s Night Of A Billion Reality Stars here in LA. That night, they debuted three Funny or Die videos showing “The Future Of Reality TV“. We’ve shown you one so far (included in the recap from that night), starring Jeff Probst.

Now, here’s the second one with the legendary Joan Rivers (who we met yesterday) in “TMI With Joan Rivers“. In this glimpse into the future of reality tv and plastic surgery, Joan takes it one step further when she decides to remove her body. Listen to the people from TMI (a parody of TMZ) as they talk about what happened to her when the paparazzi got too out of control. Where’s Melissa when you need her.

Check out the video!

Watch the video after the jump…

The sexy Jordana Brewster, starring in Fast Five, is introducing her new fragrance in this new Funny or Die video. “Hot Dog Water. For when you want to be treated as a professional and smell like a hot dog.”

I have to say, this video is bang on for what these celebrity endorsed fragrance commercials are like. Watch how the world around her changes when she splashes on a little hot dog water for a night on the town. All this time, people have been throwing their hot dog water down the drain. Not Jordana, she knows a money making opportunity when she sees one. All kidding aside, the bottled hot dog water with chunks of hot dog makes me want to gag. The video is worth watching though – check it out!

Watch the video after the jump…

If you’ve been missing the star of The City since it the show didn’t return after last season, you’re in for a treat as the star, Whitney Port sits down for a “Table For 2” with awkward funny, man Jonathan Daniel Brown. In this Funny or Die video, the two head to Pink Taco in Los Angeles for dinner, but Port soon realizes this guy has ulterior motives. Sidenote: If you recall, Pink Taco is where they cast of The Hills used to go for their dates as well, so I guess Port is missing her old hangout.

Watch the video and see their dinner date fall apart as the night goes on. You even get to see Whitney’s jaw dropped “O” face. Also, check out waitress. She’s also hilarious.

Watch the video after the jump…

SVEDKA Vodka really knows how to throw a party. After covering the red carpet at Logo’s NewNowNext Awards, Alex and I jetted over to SVEDKA’s “Night of a Billion Reality Stars” to join in on the fun. Thankfully, Lexington Social House was literally across the street, so we didn’t have to worry about getting stuck in LA traffic. Being a huge reality television fan, I jumped at the chance to be in a room full of reality TV’s most familiar faces. While there wasn’t a billion, if certainly felt like it. Every time I turned around, I was bumping into a reality star I loved. I’m talking to you Kyle Richards and Lo Bosworth.

The celebration marked SVEDKA Vodka’s partnership with FunnyOrDie.com on three comedic shorts which spoof the outrageous and inevitable future of reality TV and star Joan Rivers, Brian Austin Green, talking dogs and Jeff Probst, among others.  The first video in the series, which will roll out over a period of three consecutive weeks, premiered today, April 8, 2011. Here it is below:

“The Planet’s Most Extreme Model, Designer, Chef, Lover, Dancer, Drag Queen, Alien, Fish Wrangler From Outer Space,” a future competition show mash up, starring E!’s Gastineau Girls Brittny and Lisa Gastineau, The Bachelor’s Vienna Girardi and Real World Las Vegas roommate Trishelle Cannatella, hosted by Survivor’s Jeff Probst.

Joan Rivers kicked off the evening by premiering the off-color comedies to a room full of unscripted superstars.  They all watched and laughed as they accepted the inevitable: in the future, everyone will be famous!  After the films rolled, DJ Solange Knowles took to the turntables to spin for the gorgeous gala-goers. Who knew Beyonce’s sister was such a great DJ? I didn’t. At one point, I even went up to her and gave her a thumbs up for playing Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody“. Naturally, she laughed.

The entire venue was decorated with dozens of life-sized cutouts of reality stars. Every where you looked it was a reality television explosion. The restrooms were labeled Smush Rooms, books by reality stars riddled all the seating areas and there was even a confessional booth to take a picture. Check out Alex and my pic here. Special shout outs go to the delicious SVEDKA Vodka cocktails (Future Famous and Joan In a Jar were my favorite). Maybe I’m getting old, but the vodka sno-cone was toats strong. I couldn’t believe I had to nurse it. The duck confit was also quite tasty.

check out which reality celebs attended the event after the jump. we even took a few snaps with us with them

Carpool With Matthew Morrison & Jane Lynch

In: Patrick, Random Reads, Videos

We know they have a rivarly as their characters Mr. Schuester & Sue Sylvester on the hit musical comedy Glee, but what about as their true selves? In the following Funny or Die video, Matthew Morrison gives Jane Lynch a ride to work, as they do their part to help lessen their impact on the environment by deciding to start carpool together. What could go wrong you ask?

Well, have you ever been around someone that just loves the sound of their own voice…So much so that they drown out the actual music that they’re singing along to? It can be quite irritating, as Lynch finds out while riding in Morrison’s 2003 VW Beetle. He sings to every song and then some until she just blows up, “That is it! Why do you have to sing everything like you just swallowed a pair of jazz hands!” Haha. Enjoy!

Watch the video after the jump…

I’m back from four days in Florida, and “No Homo” is my first article back…on a site called Homorazzi? So ironic. Anyway, if you haven’t heard the slang phrase “no homo,” I’ll give you the down low. Essentially, when a straight guy says something gay, or that sounds gay, he’ll follow it by saying “No Homo,” giving him immunity. Anything he said can no longer be interpretted as gay. The phrase came about so that those saying something gay, wouldn’t be seen as gay or closeted or bisexual.

Rappers tend to use this phrase the most, using sexually explicit “gay” lyrics in their songs, then following it up with a “no homo”. A few examples are “It’s crazy how you can go from being Joe Blow/ To everybody on your dick, no homo,” in Kanye West‘s lyrics in a Jay Z song, or in Lil Wayne‘s “Let the Beat Build”: “I wear bright red like a girl toe, no homo.”

Watch how far this rapper goes with his lyrics, as the women listening in on the session struggles to understand this concept.

Watch the video after the jump…

Once again, Friday is upon us and we can’t go a Friday without hearing that dreaded or song or talking about Rebecca Black. Her rise to ‘fame’ has been a quick one and now with talks of some more music in the works, it was only a matter of time before Funny Or Die jumped on the bandwagon.

With their newest video from the series Betwixt: The Music, we get a special look inside the life of Rebecca Black and her rise to music superstardom. The video is very True Hollywood Story and Behind the Music in nature. Listening to Rebecca talk about her choice of Friday over all the other days of the week is a highlight.

Another great part of the video is when rocker Sammy Hagar makes a random appearance. His reasoning behind why the song was a hit is quite funny. Things like “remember the dark times we were living in when the song came out… St. Patrick’s Day was ahead of us, not behind us.” Hilarious.

Check out the video after the jump.

Yikes! Who would pay to watch Charlie Sheen go on a psychotic rant anyway? His upcoming mini-tour, titled “Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth,” sold out in only 18 minutes, which is apparently a Ticketmaster record! Right now, it’s only Detroit and Chicago, but he’s apparently going to be adding more locations soon as well. Needless to say, Charlie Sheen has something to say via Twitter about this:

“Fastball; Detroit/Chicago sold out in minutes… Thanks to Sheen’s Cadre..! #WINNING c”

Aside from the fact that Sheen was fired from Two and a Half Men and he’s suing them in return, in other “winning” news, he recently released a video on Funny or Die called “Winning Recipes“, where Charlie shows you how to cook using all of the power of a warlock. As much as it pains me to say it, the video is actually really well done and kinda funny. Personally, I think his crazy “Winning” and “Vatican Assassin” rants would get tiresome if you were watching him Live for an hour and a half, no? This man needs help. Check out the video below.

Watch the video after the jump…

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