funny or die

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In this faux movie trailer by Funny or Die, the sexy Taylor Lautner stars in “Field of Dreams 2: NFL Lockout“. When Lautner, disappointed about the NFL lockout, starts hearing voices in his corn field (Kevin Costner-style), he plows….(hold that thought for a moment before I finish the sentence)… a football field into his corn acreage. “If you build it, they will come,” and that they do. A bunch of idled NFL players show up on his property ready to play: Tony Gonzalez, Ray Lewis, Steve Smith, Dwight Freeney and DeSean Jackson. Lautner struggles to maintain his household with all of these men that are all of a sudden crashing at his place, getting tackled several times in the process.

On top of those familiar faces, you’ll also see Dennis Haysbert (the former President on “24” and the guy from all of the Allstate commercials – “Are you in good hands?”) who takes on the James Earl Jones role and tries to explain the labor situation. There are more familiar faces in the film, including Kevin Costner who shows up towards the end. What role does he play in this faux film? You’ll have to watch to find out. Also included below is a video of “Behind The Scenes” footage and one of “Deleted Scenes“. Enjoy!

Watch the videos after the jump…

“Do you find the Snuggie too restrictive for certain activities? Sounds like you need a Tuggie!”

The Tuggie is the evolution of the popular wearable blanket, The Snuggie. Some people found the Snuggie to restrictive for “certain activities” so they added a third hole – in the crotch area. This is perfect for when you want to “read a magazine,” or “work at the computer“, all in the comfort of a blanket.

In this mock infomercial Funny or Die video, the guy that the voiceover man is speaking to is clueless as to what the third hold would be used for. Although it’s blatantly obvious, he still doesn’t have a clue and the voiceover man clearly can’t come out and say, “It’s for jerking off.”

Watch the video below and order your Tuggie today! (just kidding, it’s a joke. Cut a hole in your Snuggie if you need to that bad).

Watch the video after the jump…

In December of last year, we learned that Hugh Hefner, Mr. Playboy himself was engaged to be married to then girlfriend, Crystal Harris. If you watch Holly’s World on E!, you’ll know that Holly Madison didn’t take the news very well after being Hef’s #1 girl for many years (even thinking about marrying Hef herself). When she learned that Hef was happy, she wished him well and went on her way. I wonder what Holly is thinking now?

With only 5 days until the Playboy Mansion’s backyard was to be turned into a wedding wonderland, Crystal suddenly had a change of heart and decided yesterday to call off the entire shindig opting not to wed Mr. Hefner. How did we all find out? The only way anyone gets any reliable info these days… Twitter.

Hugh took to his Twitter page to deliver to the word everyone tweeting: “The wedding is off. Crystal has had a change of heart.” In an awkward coincidence, Crystal’s single Club Queen also became available on iTunes. Did Crystal decide that pursuing her music career was more important than living in the shadow of being “Mrs. Hefner”?

More on this story and Crystal’s “Club Queen” after the jump.

Sports Stud: David Wright

In: Patrick, Sports & Health, Totally GAY!

This handsome Major League Baseball player you likely recognize as third base for the NY Mets. His name is David Wright (or Mr. Wright Now… as many can only dream). He’s 28 years old and he was drafted to The Mets back in 2001, making his MLB debut in 2004. Had he not been drafted by The Mets, he had originally planned to go to Georgia Tech and major in engineering.

Unfortunately for Wright, a couple weeks ago it was found that he had a stress fracture in his lower back. As a result, the injury may force him to miss out on many games in this 2011 baseball season.

As a MLB player, he of course makes a lot of money. In addition, as part of the endorsement deal that he had with Vitamin Water, he owned 0.5% of the company. When the company was sold to Coca Cola for $4.1 billion, he then made $20 million on the deal. Cha-ching! Although he makes a lot of money, he goes to bat for some great causes as well. He started the David Wright Foundation whose mission is to increase awareness about multiple sclerosis and to raise money for multiple sclerosis organizations and projects. In 2008, he even was recognized as “Sports Humanitarian of the Year”.

More photos after the jump…

Funny Or Die: Hungover With Bridesmaids

In: Patrick, Videos

I have to say I’m a fan of these Funny or Die and CollegeHumor funny faux interviews as a way to help promote upcoming movies. Remember the “You Again” one? I died.

This weekend, Bridesmaids opens up in theatres and today we share with you Funny or Die’s “Hungover With Bridesmaids”. The interview that chats with the cast is beyond hungover after having attended a wedding the night prior and slept with a guy named Kyle. The cast, which includes Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph among others, try to push through the interview as best they can with the trainwreck interviewer they’re stuck with. What advice do they have for her? Find out below.

I’m watching a screening of the film tonight so watch for my review this Friday. I have a feeling this movie is going to make me shed some tears…of laughter.

Video after the jump…

I know what you’re thinking: “Don’t all Ark Music Factory videos go wrong?” Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. Considering Rebecca Black’s “Friday” music video has well over 100 million views now, it’d be a stretch to call that a failure. For those of you that don’t know, Ark Music Factory is the company that created Rebecca Black, specializing in grooming preteen pop star wannabes and helping them with their music videos.

In the following Ark Music Factory Parody, a faux teen girl is singing about “Besties Night,” having her girlfriends over for a slumber party. Well, what could possibly go wrong? If you remember in Rebecca Black’s video, there is a rap verse where some older gets his own little cameo/rap while driving around. Well, the same thing happens in this video, except the rappers (who look like “The Creepers” from The Lonely Island) show up at the girls “Besties Night” and the slumber party turns into a big shaker…and Tommy Lee shows up. And then…

Find out what happens below.

Watch the video after the jump…

“The Bitch” With Brian Austin Green

In: Patrick, Random Reads, Videos

A while back, I wrote about TMI With Joan Rivers, a parody of TMZ showing The Future of Reality TV, first premiered at the Svedka Vodka’s Night of A Billion Reality Stars.

Now the final Funny or Die video (at least of the ones that were shown that night) is here. This one is called “The Bitch with Brian Austin Green“. No, I’m not referring to his wife. Of course we remember him 37 year old Brian Austin Green best as the sexy David Silver on the original 90210. In the past few years, he’s come back into the spotlight, and one of the big attention grabbers was him marrying Megan Fox. He’s also been to Wysteria Lane, guest starring on Desperate Housewives, as well as some other projects on the side.

In the following video parody, B.A.G. stops by “The Bitch,” which is essentially “The View” of the future, only run by dogs with voice boxes. The leader of the pack is Bow Wow Wow Wowo (aka Barbara Walters), along with Litzabitsy (Elizabeth), Woofi (Whoopi), and Happy (Joy). LMFAO.

Watch the video after the jump…

Yesterday, Skynet’s machines didn’t rise, but today, clouds of smoke will. If a gust of wind happens to blow a familiar (or unfamiliar) smell your way today, that’s because it’s 4/20 day: a day that celebrates the consumption of cannabis. The term actually originated in 1971 in California by a group of teens that called themselves the Waldos. It was first a code word they used to refer to an abandoned cannabis crop they heard about, and they would meet at the wall outside the school at 4:20pm to discuss. Long story short, the term evolved into meaning pot-smoking in general.

Now every year, people gather on University campuses or in major metropolitan areas to celebrate the occasion by…you guessed it, smoking a lot of pot together. In 2009 in Vancouver, about 10,000 people gathered by the Vancouver Art Gallery to take part in the occasion, and no arrests were made. Every year in San Francico, thousands of people gather on Hippie Hill to celebrate there. These two are just a few of many 4/20 celebrations that take place throughout the continent.

In the following Funny or Die video, a group of guys head out for a night of partying at the bar. Shots, shots, shots, and more drinking is in order for the guys. As the night progresses, we then compare their night of alcohol to a night of weed. LOL. Check it out!

Watch the video after the jump…

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