There’s nothing better than having a really good gay friend. Although I have been out for almost eight years, it is only in the last few that I’ve really found what it is to connect with another gay guy in a non-sexual way. Below is my list of best things I’ve learned through my gay friendships:

The Mark – Gossip is bad…but oh so good

We spend our days talking to other people and it’s just natural that we end up talking about others at points. Gay guys are great at getting people to talk to them – people love us and want to tell us their secrets. Maybe not always such a good idea…we’re sharers. When I was younger my friend Mark and I thrived on knowing all the good gossip. Since we’ve grown up I think we’re both quite a bit more careful with the information people share with us – but it’s still great to be in the know.

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It amazes me how much can change in a day, let alone a year. Change happens every single minute of every single hour of every single day and we don’t even realize it until we take a step back and review it detail by detail. Physical, mental and emotional change happens not only in ourselves, but the people we love, know a little and even the strangers we just pass by on the street.

Weight. Height. Age. Those are the most lethal of all the physical changes. It’s a constant bombardment of thoughts when you hear any of those words. Women of skelator looks are said to be the most beautiful and men of hulk-esque body structure are valued as prized possessions. Both genders are working their asses off to change into that EXACT category of being; to make that change. As quickly as you get there though, you can be swept into “THE DARK SIDE” once again and be the exact opposite of it. Pounds can always be gained and always be lost, it’s a forever changing thing. Height and age are a little more complex, you can’t reverse any of them, but they are always going to be a factor in what makes you…YOU. They can develop certain attitudes/personas (little man syndrome/giant douche-bag all-stars) and define people with such terms as “cougars” or “sharks”. It also pretty much narrows down the field for what career path you’ll most likely be taking (height) and what part of your career life you should be in/salary earning (age).

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I know a lot of people but don’t have many friends, and the friends I do have are constantly hurt by me.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep I’ve been enduring, the amount on my plate, or the newest of the many dilemmas I seem to have. Things are spilling out today, causing me to look at myself in a new light. The consensus I’ve come to is that I am without a doubt a terrible friend, if not person.

Canada Day was my “one year friend-o-versery” with my closest friend “Steve”. We’ve been through a lot; dated, I wasn’t a great…errr good boyfriend, but some how we managed to become great friends after.

I get along great with his room mate “Jamie”, and we all have an amazing time together. I would love to be able to have a friendship with Jamie, but I know Steve will not like to be left out of any activities, and it will cause a rift. I secretly resent him for this.

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In the midst of all the Halloween commitments and friends visiting, one of my old co-workers was having her birthday party. While getting ready for the party on Friday night, I started thinking how awesome it was we still kept in touch, despite not seeing each other on a daily basis anymore. It’s been over two years since we last worked together.

Our job doesn’t define us but it definitely makes up a good chunk of who we are. Most of us spend 40 hours a week plugging away at our jobs trying to make a living. Since we spend such a huge amount of our lives at work, it’s only natural that we bond with certain colleagues and establish friendships. Sometimes you connect due to similar interests while other times it’s over your dislike over your job and/or boss. Either way you become friends and start to get involved with each other’s personal lives over your weekly Friday beer sessions.

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