Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant gave the wannabes makeovers and I praised the almighty that she stopped calling them “Tyovers”. Terra got her recently made over self booted halfway through the episode and Sara followed soon behind in a double elimination smackdown. Ann, the ugly pretty awkward girl with no waist, odd eyebrows, freakish height, and ZERO fashion sense won best photo for the second time. We have ourselves a frontrunner! Can the other girls catch up? Will Tyrant say something asinine? Does anyone else miss Miss Jay’s panel commentary? Who will be eliminated tonight?
We start of this week in the apartment with a series of confessionals with the girls talking about each other behind their backs. Surprise surprise… blah, blah blah. Then Kacey decides they should throw a little party and invite the male models from the most recent shoot. Ooooh. Interesting. Is someone gonna pull a Shandi? She’s got a boyfriend back home too. Uh oh. When the boys came, it was “mad awkward” as Liz put it. Kayla said it was worse than a middle school dance. I guess that’s what happens when there’s no booze allowed. The tumbleweeds roll in. Snoozefest.
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant kicked off the competition with a lesson in self-esteem and body image. Obviously. Where would American girls be without Tyrant Banks! After a fairly lackluster photoshoot, apparent front-runner Anamaria got the boot. She was WAY too skinny… even for the cycle of high fashion. She was a bit of a cow, so I ain’t hating on Tyrant for that one. Crazy looking Ann emerged as the awkward one to beat. Can she get top photo two weeks in a row? Who will breakdown during the makeovers? Thirteen wannabes remain… who will be eliminated tonight?
We start off this week with Drew Barrymore talking about CoverGirl’s legendary bold lash blast bolder shade duo smoky shadowblast lashblast. Oops sorry. That was a commercial. That shit is crazy. I’d be really curious to see the market research on the CoverGirl campaigns. They throw so much tongue-twisting jargon and gimmicky slogans around in one commercial that it’s hard to follow. Any marketing folks want to chime in on this one? Lash blast away smoky shadow blast!
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant introduced us to a whole new crop of wannabes. And you know what? Not a plus-sized girl among them. No fatties. No midgets. Just a busload of tall skinny girls with high fashion potential. Thank god. Can Tyrant really find the next couture sensation? Can she find that awkwardly beautiful diamond in the rough? Probably not. The only thing we know is that a bunch of waifs will scream, cry, yell at each other, and lust for Nigel Barker. Just like me! Who will be the first to go? Who will be America’s Next Top Model?
The title of this week’s episode is simply “Diane Von Furstenberg”. Saweet. Can’t wait to see her on the judging panel. Loved her on Project Runway. But first we have to get reacquainted with the 14 finalists as they move into their new pad in Venice Beach. Ugh. Back in California. This show is WAY better when it’s in NYC. Oh well. I’m actually kinda jealous of their new place. It’s gorge… AND they have a runway. I want a runway in my condo. Sigh. When I get married, there is going to be a runway. Walk off!
Here we go again. America’s Next Top Model is back. The catfights are back. The stereotypical casting is back. The bitchy blog is back. Tyra Banks is back, but that is the last time we will use her fake name here at Homorazzi. To me, she will always be Tyrant. Why? Because she is a ridiculous caricature, fake, transparent with her editing, and way too prone to stupid gimmicks. Despite all that… we love her. And, we love Top Model. Still. Here we are at Cycle 15 and the show has YET to produce an actual supermodel. A lot of the girls are working, but there has been no Adriana or Gisele or Agyness. Tyrant has never picked a high fashion winner… Jaslene and midget Nicole were close, but not the real deal. Could this year be different? Will Tyrant’s newfound love for high fashion finally give us a REAL model? Or are we destined to relive the CoverGirl slash Walmart slash Seventeen failures of the past? Who else misses Elyse? Sigh.
Since ANTM Cycle 15 premieres tonight, I thought it would be the perfect time to catch up with one of the previous winners. Nicole Fox won the petite cycle last Fall. While most cycle winners have a hard time booking jobs, Fox has had a harder time breaking through due to her tiny stature. In a world of Amazonian women, 5’7″ girls don’t work. But every once in a while, her tiny frame gives her an upper hand.
The gorgeous redhead recently shot an ad campaign for Nicole Richie’s “Winter Kate” clothing line. Fox says her tiny feet helped her secure the job for “Winter Kate”, since the sample sizes are based on Nicole Richie, who also has the same size feet. The photo shoot was shot in two days last week, with Richie on set and very hands on.
“The most awesome thing was that Nicole Richie was there both days,” she says. “The entire time everyone was working on it — two long hard days — and she was just really sweet.”
For all you hardcore ANTM fans out there, I bring you, your first look at America’s Next Top Model Cycle 15’s season premiere. I’m just heading out the door, and don’t have time to do a quick write up. Enjoy the pictures.
Perhaps Tyra Banks should include getting felt up by a drunk asswipe as part of the prize package for winning “America’s Next Top Model“. The modeling reality show’s first winner, Adrianne Curry, claims she was “molested” by an allegedly drunk man outside a Star Wars convention (ergo the outfit above). Curry reports the man lifted up her skirt and grabbed her. The incident occurred around 3am on Sunday morning.
When the police finally arrived, they questioned witnesses and the suspect. Witnesses told deputies that the man was “extremely” intoxicated and made obscene gestures to hotel guests and in some instances tried to fight several people outside the hotel. They eventually arrested the man in question for disorderly intoxication. The man was booked and released on $250 bond later that day.
I’m obsessed with ABC news magazine shows a la “Primetime,” but I rarely watch “Nightline.” So, like a sign from God and Jesus above, I just happened to tune in on September 8.
I was half-watching in bed while my Ambien kicked in, and then the interview started getting good. Cynthia McFadden does this amazing voiceover right before the stare-off explosion where she says, “One Might be forgiven for suggesting that the real star, cycle after cycle, is Miss Banks, herself.” I died.
To see Tyra, whose entire shtick is about being real, unwittingly reveal her phoniness and come unglued so easily, was downright shocking (and hilarious).
I transcribed the best parts of the interview for my website and, on a whim, asked my friends to film the interview with me playing both parts. I just went off the transcript and ad-libbed the rest.
I lost respect for Tyra and gained a new found respect for Cynthia McFadden.