Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant treated us to one of the most ridiculous displays of her inflated, bloated, and absurd ego ever. EVER. The wannabes were forced to shoot a “motion editorial” to the themes in her novel “Modelland”. Everything about “Tookie” sounds like crap. Someone needs to film a dramatic reading so I can laugh my ass off at Tyrant’s expense. Even worse, Allison almost went home because she didn’t obsess over guest judge Tyson Beckford. Ugh. He and Tyrant are an ego match made in heaven. Allison, the goddess, was saved while Laura was sent home. So here we are. The final three. Angelea, despite being of shape, haggard, generally unpleasant, and identical to every other stereotypical “ghetto” character in ANTM history is probably going to win. That sucks. But any other outcome just doesn’t seem likely given Tyrant’s pimp editing. Sigh. I’m preparing myself now. Can Allison pull off the miracle and send Angelea back to whatever area code she came from? Does Lisa even have a shot? Will Tyrant shove Tookie down our throats? Who will win America’s Next Top Model?
Well boys and girls… another Cycle of Top Model is almost over. It was entertaining, but Tyrant’s heavy hand felt heavier than usual. I hope you all got the chance to read my article on 5 ways to improve ANTM. Tyrant should take note. I don’t know about the rest of you, but there was not enough modeling this cycle and too much nonsense about branding. I’m a huge fan of this show, but it paled in comparison to the most recent season of Project Runway in terms of talent, fashion, and intelligent TV. Tyrant needs to revisit fashion. That’s why I watch ANTM. If I wanted trashy drama with trashy girls, I would watch The Bachelor. I hope you enjoyed the recaps though. I always have fun writing them.
Tonight, Tyra Banks and crew crown the first ever All-Star winner of “America’s Next Top Model“. Though I’m rooting for the wonderfully awkward Allison Harvard, I was hoping another contestant would make the Final 3 instead of Angelea Preston. That would be none other than Cycle 10′s Dominique Reighard.
While I wasn’t a fan of hers during her original cycle, I found myself warming up to her as each episode of Cycle 17 aired. Then the draglicious reality star decided to drop a wicked debut single and beyotch officially won me over. Sadly, my hopes of her making it to the finale were squashed by Banks and the judging panel when they inexplicably eliminated her instead of Angelea. ROOOOOOOOOBBBED.
Luckily for me, with her elimination out of the way, I was free and clear to chat with the model turned aspiring recording artist. After playing a wonderful game of email tag, we finally connected just after Thanksgiving. It was definitely worth the wait. She was a joy to chat with. It felt like I was with my gays having a major gossip session.
Dominique dished about her All-Stars experience and hanging out in Greece. In addition, we naturally segued into her budding music career. She revealed what her plans are for an upcoming album and follow-up single to the addictive “On Top of The World“. Eavesdrop on our phone conversation below. It’s a tad lengthy, but Patrick did a great job of editing it from the original 30 minute convo. Hope you enjoy.
Does anyone else think this cycle flew by? I can’t believe Tyra Banks and crew are already crowning the winner of the All-Stars cycle. How Angelea is still in the running is beyond me? I don’t think there is anyone else in the history of ANTM that’s escaped elimination in the bottom two so many times. Someone’s truly one lucky beytoch.
In the finale, the remaining girls film more footage for Tyra’s tragic “Modelland” motion editorial. Was anyone else disappointed in the final product? I felt her directorial debut on Cycle 15 was much better. Remember when Ann, Kayla, Chelsey and Jane whipped their hair for Tyra? Speaking of which, why Jane didn’t make the All-Stars is astonishing? You can also add Mollie (16), Raina (14), Lauren Brie (11), Analeigh (11), Katarzyna (10), Jenah (9), Natasha (8), Mollie Sue (6), Joanie (6), Mercedes (2) to that long robbed list.
Also in the episode, the girls pose for their ritual CoverGirl ads and walk in a highly-elaborate runway show. You have to see some of the yummy eye candy accompanying the Final 3. Definitely tasty Greek treats. Check out them and a slew of preview pics below. I also included the final CoverGirl pic of one of the girls. The rest can be seen in our ANTM Cycle 17 gallery.
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant narrowed the field of wannabes down to the final four when she kicked off Dominique. Much to my frustration, the dramatic but completely not modelesque Angela survived ANOTHER brush with elimination. It’s almost absurd at how much Tyrant is forcing a TRANgelea win on us. We get it Tyrant… you like her backstory. Guess what? We don’t give a shit. The girl can’t model and doesn’t even have enough core strength to hold herself upright in a bowl of Greek salad. Did I mention that Nigel has to physically put her into poses and she hasn’t won a single challenge? Sigh. The good news is that Allison the goddess is still in the running. More bad news… Lisa somehow scraped into the final four along with Laura. I never ever would have imagined those two getting into the final four. But who will make it the final three? Who will be America’s Next Top Model? Who will be eliminated tonight?
So we’re getting down to the wire. Within a couple weeks we’ll know who the winner of this train wreck of a cycle will be. It’s been entertaining, but the modeling has been mediocre at best. Watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show last night made me realize just how much these girls ARE NOT models. Allison? Yes… in a high fashion and editorial way. Laura, Angelea, and Lisa? No freaking way. Not a single girl this season could’ve walked with those gorgeous girls.
Oh god. This is going to be a nightmare. We start off this week with a Tyrant voiceover telling us some nonsense about seeing the “world premiere fashion film based on my New York Times best-selling novel Modelland”. F*ck me. This has Tyrant overload written all over it.
With Thanksgiving and a filler recap episode airing last week, it feels like forever since we’ve received preview pics. So imagine my surprise and delight when I checked my email this morning and saw these ANTM goodies in my inbox. Definitely made this Monday more tolerable. Just in case you forgot, the lovely Dominique Reighard left us during the last panel. BOO. Now, we’re left with Allison, Angelea, Laura and Lisa in the competition fighting it out for that career-making grand prize. Hope you sense that hint of sarcasm.
Joining the girls this week is the hunky Tyson Beckford. Man, that guy is one fine piece of hot ass. Judging by the pictures, it seems that Tyra is back to her old tricks. She’s directing another motion editorial. So expect a lot of silly directing cues from Miss Banks as the Final 4 girls twirl about in their yellow chiffon dresses. Speaking of Tyrant, if you missed last week’s terrific post from our resident ANTM expert, Rich, you have to check it out. He crafts up 5 Ways To Improve ANTM. If you’re a long-time watcher of the show, you’ll appreciate it. Without further ado, here are this week’s episodic preview photos.
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the nevergonnabes packed up their bags and flew to Greece for some final six action in a bowl of Greek Salad. Seriously. Tyrant had the girls being all sexy in a giant bowl of tomatoes, cucumbers, massive blocks of feta, and gallons of olive oil. If that doesn’t scream “Top Model”, I don’t know what does. The best part was the continuation of the “underwear versus bathing suit” saga. Oh Shannon. She has no problems wearing slutty bathing suits, but ask her to put on a sporty bra and full-on boy-type underwear and she gets all high and mighty. Gurl. You are messed up. Anyways, she finally got her covered-up ass booted from the competition… but not before Tyrant STRESSED that it wasn’t just about her refusing to pose in underwear. Gurl had never won a challenge or been called for first photo. What a disappointment she turned out to be! Only five girls remain. Who will falter right before the final four? Will it be Allison, our wide-eyed weird goddess? Or Lisa, the loud-mouthed manic attention seeker? Better yet, could this be the end of Angelea and her gut… I mean… “soft core”? Did you see that thing in the bowl of salad! Two words… sit ups. Can Laura ride her country bumpkin charm to the end or is this the end of Granny’s fashion show? Can Dominique continue to shed her dragalicious reputation and win it all? Who will be eliminated tonight?
Hey peeps. First up… sorry I wasn’t around to recap last week’s episode. It was a doozy, but I was off gallivanting around Toronto. It was amazing. Thanks for asking. In this week’s famous second paragraph, which normally features my random ramblings and rants, I would like to applaud all the boys out there participating in Movember. They’re ugly, they’re dirty, they’re covered in last night’s bed time snack, but damn… putting yourself out there for a worthy cause is awesome. I am NOT participating this year (had a couple weddings to look cute for), but I WILL be donating cold hard cash to make up for it. You should too. Check out the story Homorazzi did about some hot Vancouver boys growing MOs here and then donate here.
I have some good news and bad news for you today. Good news is that you’re getting last night’s recap and next week’s preview all in the same post. Bad news is that you won’t get your weekly fix of Rich’s ANTM wisdom. Our ginger goddess is away in Toronto doing God knows what. My loins hurt just thinking about it.
We lined up another cast member to do a full recap, but technology proved to be an obstacle. Their PVR/DVR recorded a repeat instead of the new episode. And that’s the chain of events that leaves you stuck with me. Wah, wah, wah. I’m not even going to attempt to replicate the levels of fabulousity that Rich achieves in his weekly recaps. I’m just not that gay *wink*. Instead, I’m just going to briefly recap last night’s episode and cover major points.
Ding, dong the wicked witch of ANTM is gone. Thank God, she’s outta there. I’m even more thankful that Alexandria didn’t get another free oversees trip. I wouldn’t want the amazing Greek people to be tormented by her. Can you believe we’re already at the point where the girls go to some “fashion mecca” for the final portion of the competition. Where did the time go? I can’t wait to her why Crete, Greece was chosen as this cycle’s international destination. Had I known the girls were going to be in Crete, I would’ve skipped out on Mykonos and sailed there instead. I had no idea ANTM was in Greece the same time I was there this past summer.
Overall I’m happy with most of the Final 6. I would swap out Shannon for Sheena and Laura for Kayla. I miss my lipstick lesbian and hoochie Asian. As you all know, I’m still rooting for Allison to win, but Dominique has really grown on me. I couldn’t stand her during her cycle, but this time around she’s so likable. I blame Tyra for giving her that awful makeover during her OG cycle. Long hair definitely suits her better.
Taking this week’s pictures is photographer Nikos Papadopoulos. I wonder if he’s the Greek Herb Ritts or Patrick Demarchelier. I guess we’ll find out next week. Normally, we get the finished judging photos a week in advance, but this week the CW didn’t provide them. I’m thinking Shannon refused to participate in this week’s underwear shoot and the network didn’t want to spoil it. She’s such a prude. Seriously. If you have a banging body, show it off. Take a look at the few preview pics sent to us below. Check out my Alexandria dig in one of the captions. LOL.