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American Idol 11: St. Louis Auditions

In: Adam, TV Shows

THE AUDITIONS ARE FINALLY OVER!! Well, after this final review that is. Typically, the loyal viewers of Idol fall into two groups: those who like the try outs and those who prefer to jump on the wagon once the messes have been sorted. I have always been one to like finding the stars early, before the producers, stylists and makeup men and ladies take hold and change everything about them. So, as we hit the final audition city of St. Louis, I have high hopes that maybe SOMEthing worth a snuff will show up.

A pretty established city for talent and performers who do well enough in past seasons, I’m slightly optimistic going into this but considering the awfulness of the last 6 cities (save for Galveston), that optimism is VERY limited. So, let’s take a deep breath, take a few shots of whatever says at least 80 proof and dive into this the final night of what might go down as the lamest series of auds ever recorded.

Click through to read the rest of my review and see the bigger and badder clips

Oh Idol, what a roller-coaster of lameness and slight peaks of excitement you’ve sent us on thus far. Thank FRIG for Galveston, Texas last week cause otherwise my coverage today might have been a lot more disenchanted and in my world that equals complete and utter bitchiness. So, for the talent’s sake, it’s a lot better I go into this with an open mind… trust me.

I’m slightly more excited this time around that they’re auditioning so close to my hometown in a great city I love to party in… though, once again they choose a slightly no-starter town and state: Portland, Oregon. Yes, the land of Dr. Kevorkian and a mecca to married lesbians everywhere, Portland has many an interesting thing to offer but an abundance of star-worthy talent isn’t typically what comes to one’s mind: at least not mine. Still, I’m banking on this whole Texas episode thing as being a turnaround moment for this show and hoping against hope that we see something valuable in this “jewel” of the northwest as Ryan so scriptedly puts it.

Click through to read the rest of my review and see some of the highlights from the episode!

American Idol 11: Meet The Top 12 Girls (Spoilers)

In: Donovan, TV Shows

Yesterday, I spoiled “American Idol” Season 11’s Top 12 Guys and now it’s the ladies turn. While the boys’ side feature a decent sampling of music genres, the same cannot be said here. No big belting divas like Latoya London, Jennifer Hudson, or Fantasia. But if you’re craving singers like that, in an ironic twist, a couple of contestants on the boys’ side will definitely fill that void- Adam Brock and Jeremy Rosado.

Instead of diversity, the Top 12 girls are riddled with blond girls, country singers and teens. Obviously, the powers-that-be are trying to hedge their bets with Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson clones which makes sense since they’re the most successful “American Idol” winners ever. Can a girl finally win this thing again? Believe it or not, Jordin Sparks is the last female winner. I think it’s about time the ovaries beat out the testicles. Tween girls, please stop power-voting for your crushes.

Like last post, I’m giving you one FINAL warning if you don’t want Season 11’s Top 12 Girls spoiled for you. Proceed with caution.

check out the girls competing in the Top 24 this season after the jump

American Idol 11: Meet The Top 12 Guys (Spoilers)

In: Donovan, TV Shows

Even though we’re still during the audition portion of “American Idol”, Season 11’s Top 24 has already been picked. If you’re like me and don’t mind knowing the outcome before the official reveal, then you’re in luck. I’ve got this year’s Top 12 Boys for you. I’m a total spoiler junkie.

Since we haven’t reached Hollywood week yet, a few of the Top 12 boys haven’t been shown to us. Thankfully, with the advent of YouTube and archive footage from previous seasons, I have the scoop on those vying to be the next Ruben Studdard, David Cook, Kris Allen, Lee DeWyze, Scotty McCreery and God forbid, Taylor Hicks. There’s a decent sampling of diversity in this year’s top guys with respect to race and musical tastes. So no complaining… there’s something for everyone.

This is your last warning to turn back if you don’t want to know, though I think you secretly do or else you wouldn’t have made it this far in the post 😉 See if your early favorites made the cut.

get a sneak peek at this season’s Top 12 Boys after the jump

A little late in posting, sorry about that folks, but I was so taken aback by the actual appearance of talent in the most recent foray into Texas tunes that I had to sit in astonishment most of today!

Where Aspen was the city that taste and talent forgot, it was proven last night that definitely everything IS bigger (and better!) in Texas! Even the judges themselves seemed to be more/actually aware of the true singers they had in front of them this time around and weren’t just passing out golden tickets like so many 5cent candies.

What I take from this experience is (sorry Nowheresville) that Idol REALLY needs to hit the big cities more often. While I love San D and the hills of Colorado, those aren’t place you go to for talent: those are places you go to drink 😉

Click through to read my now HAPPY review of last night’s performances

American Idol 11: Aspen Eats It, HARD

In: Adam, TV Shows

Another day, another desperate load of kids hoping to make it big. Maybe Colorado will actually offer us some real contenders this time around for the winners circle! Thus far, as you can read from my reviews, I’ve been pretty unimpressed with the “best singers” as chosen by the judges: good looking, sappy stories and begging seems to be the key to making through to the second round. I need me some ORIGINAL sounds and unique personalities and so far, short of one or two girls I’ve mentioned in past articles, I haven’t seen that star yet.

So, it’s time to try out Aspen. Also, really? Aspen? I’m sure it’s not, but I have this image of a tucked away snowy town that’s only accessible by one, rocky road… I know that makes no sense, but how did the infamous ski slopes of Asp get chosen? I’m honestly starting to question that there isn’t some weird marketing or cross-promotion thing going on behind the scenes but who really cares. Let’s get to what you’re here for: me complaining about the awful auditions.

Click through to read my scathing review

American Idol 11: Chillin’ in Pittsburgh

In: Adam, TV Shows

Well, Idol survived my first review of the premiere attempt to scour for talent in the Southern heat of Savannah, Georgia, but will the City of Champions (in their first ever AI audition) match up in talent and entertainment? I’m hoping for at least one screaming queen (you know I hate how they represent our people but it’s still hilarious to see them bust down time after time and call momma to tell her she can’t quit the factory quite yet), one proposal from a bumpkin’ to Lopez and a few rants to the camera afterwards- oh, and a “true talent to take it all” blah blah blah. Honestly, it’s the bipolar ones that you need to look out for on this set!

Last night I decided to take off the kid’s gloves since I realized my original article was way too forgiving of over-produced Idol moments, stretched out dramas and barely-there voices that have no real chance to make it but that the “Golden Ticket Moment” is too much of a seller that they couldn’t resist passing them out like so many flavored tic tacs. So, buckle in, cause mean Adam is back and I’m taking no prisoners today!

Click through to read the rest of my review

American Idol 11: Premiere in Savannah

In: Adam, TV Shows

Well, despite a god awful teaser of Lopez… well, walking… Season 11 of “American Idol” didn’t fail to have some classic AI, entertaining moments as we kick off the season in (do they always start here??) Savannah, Georgia. Home of the extremely young and talented, the gayest of the gays and way too many Steven Tyler fans, though that’s probably just because Georgia- like Australia and India- is about 20 years behind and is only just now hearing about this crazy new rock band called Aerosmith. All together though, they make for a pretty interesting opening show.

While many choose to skip over the auditions and hold out for Vegas week or even “Top 20s” (or whatever random number they go with this year), I’m a beginning to end kind of guy as I love to pick my faves early in the competition though typically the true stars don’t shine till they hit Sin City. You might notice that Donovan is no longer the welcoming face at the top of this article, well, we unanimously came to the decision that since the show is taking on a “kinder image” with Lopez and Tyler falling in love with every fresh face that hits the stage, we’d hit back by having our bitchiest writer- me– take the reins on the reviews. And speaking of…

Click through to read my cutting review of last night’s episode

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