Well, Hollywood week is finally done and a good amount of the sad sacks that needed to go have gone. And, I do mean sad as too many people often skate through those original auditions based on “Momma left me early on” stories that pull at the judges heartstrings so much that their ears can’t hear actual talent and send them through. Hollywood was a great chance to see some talent that didn’t make it to the silver screen before hand and an even better chance to stress out those tiny tots to the point that they crack and show not just what they had for lunch but also just how terrible and inexperienced they truly are. Still, it’s not quite done and there’s plenty more crap that needs to go. I mean, come on: Richie god damn Law is still there!
So it’s now Vegas Week 1 and while we’re still seeing the kids perform in groups, it’s the BETTER remaining singers so hopefully way less lyrical amnesia than we saw last night in Hollywood. Unfortunately, they have them singing in the style of the 50s and 60s which sounds ridiculous to me as all they ever tell them come live performances is NOT to sound dated. Considering how things have been going in the season thus far I’m expecting more puke, more collapsing and a whole lot of tears… Oh right, and some “talented performers” :P Spoiler alert, I am SUPER disappointed in the performances, drama and judges tonight and find myself wondering if they were drinking from Paula’s cup cause these three must are clearly on drugs.
Well FINALLY get to see those performances held just out of our reach last week as we instead were subject to Bitchathon/Pukathon 2012. Today’s article is titled the OFFICIAL Round 2 article as apparently last week’s Thursday counted more as a segue episode that all leads to these final group attempts.
Group Night is always one of the toughest nights for the kids as they struggle to meld Type A personalities into one coalesced mound of talent and keep their voices from crackin’ and losing it to one another on stage. Though we’ll get to see a good amount of tragedy to be sure, there’s always, ALWAYS a strong amount of collectives that stroll out and just dominate the stage. Often because the kids themselves can just tell who the winners are they seek each other out to make sure no anchor will hold them back, the result of that is that the leftovers often have to try and scrape something together at the last second. Speaking of awful groups scraping things together…
Hollywood Week returns and we get the draaaaaaamaaaaaaa of Round 2. Year after year this remains a secret favourite of mine as attitudes are checked and bravado goes out the window, forcing the real personalities of the bitches and bros to finally show as they group up and realize they have to share the spot light… at least for today.
While the singing is less the focus of this ep, the tears more than make up for it by far! Though Donovan has already revealed the Top 12 Girls as well as the Top 12 Guys, I am a purist with reality TV and opt not to peek ahead at internet chatter and leaked hints of things to come. So, all my predictions and ups and downs are of-the-moment and therefore more than likely my faves are without a hope and those I hate seem to always stay. That being said, let’s get to last night’s review and most importantly start with the CRASH of Symone Black off the stage!
FINALLY IT’S HERE. The moment you’ve all been waiting for: tears, drama, pressure and actual talent, it’s Hollywood Week!
Often the moment when many Idol fans actually start caring about the show, Hollywood week is that special time of the year when we finally see what those original Golden Ticket winners can TRULY do when the pressure is on, the stage is huge and the song isn’t always something they get to control. We are gonna see gays passing out from consumption, divas pulling hair and backstabbing like no other and straight guys wondering just what the hell they signed up for. So, without further ado, let’s look at the most memorable moments of American Idol XI’s Hollywood Week!
THE AUDITIONS ARE FINALLY OVER!! Well, after this final review that is. Typically, the loyal viewers of Idol fall into two groups: those who like the try outs and those who prefer to jump on the wagon once the messes have been sorted. I have always been one to like finding the stars early, before the producers, stylists and makeup men and ladies take hold and change everything about them. So, as we hit the final audition city of St. Louis, I have high hopes that maybe SOMEthing worth a snuff will show up.
A pretty established city for talent and performers who do well enough in past seasons, I’m slightly optimistic going into this but considering the awfulness of the last 6 cities (save for Galveston), that optimism is VERY limited. So, let’s take a deep breath, take a few shots of whatever says at least 80 proof and dive into this the final night of what might go down as the lamest series of auds ever recorded.
Oh Idol, what a roller-coaster of lameness and slight peaks of excitement you’ve sent us on thus far. Thank FRIG for Galveston, Texas last week cause otherwise my coverage today might have been a lot more disenchanted and in my world that equals complete and utter bitchiness. So, for the talent’s sake, it’s a lot better I go into this with an open mind… trust me.
I’m slightly more excited this time around that they’re auditioning so close to my hometown in a great city I love to party in… though, once again they choose a slightly no-starter town and state: Portland, Oregon. Yes, the land of Dr. Kevorkian and a mecca to married lesbians everywhere, Portland has many an interesting thing to offer but an abundance of star-worthy talent isn’t typically what comes to one’s mind: at least not mine. Still, I’m banking on this whole Texas episode thing as being a turnaround moment for this show and hoping against hope that we see something valuable in this “jewel” of the northwest as Ryan so scriptedly puts it.
Yesterday, I spoiled “American Idol” Season 11′s Top 12 Guys and now it’s the ladies turn. While the boys’ side feature a decent sampling of music genres, the same cannot be said here. No big belting divas like Latoya London, Jennifer Hudson, or Fantasia. But if you’re craving singers like that, in an ironic twist, a couple of contestants on the boys’ side will definitely fill that void- Adam Brock and Jeremy Rosado.
Instead of diversity, the Top 12 girls are riddled with blond girls, country singers and teens. Obviously, the powers-that-be are trying to hedge their bets with Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson clones which makes sense since they’re the most successful “American Idol” winners ever. Can a girl finally win this thing again? Believe it or not, Jordin Sparks is the last female winner. I think it’s about time the ovaries beat out the testicles. Tween girls, please stop power-voting for your crushes.
Like last post, I’m giving you one FINAL warning if you don’t want Season 11′s Top 12 Girls spoiled for you. Proceed with caution.
Even though we’re still during the audition portion of “American Idol”, Season 11′s Top 24 has already been picked. If you’re like me and don’t mind knowing the outcome before the official reveal, then you’re in luck. I’ve got this year’s Top 12 Boys for you. I’m a total spoiler junkie.
Since we haven’t reached Hollywood week yet, a few of the Top 12 boys haven’t been shown to us. Thankfully, with the advent of YouTube and archive footage from previous seasons, I have the scoop on those vying to be the next Ruben Studdard, David Cook, Kris Allen, Lee DeWyze, Scotty McCreery and God forbid, Taylor Hicks. There’s a decent sampling of diversity in this year’s top guys with respect to race and musical tastes. So no complaining… there’s something for everyone.
This is your last warning to turn back if you don’t want to know, though I think you secretly do or else you wouldn’t have made it this far in the post ;) See if your early favorites made the cut.