PUKE! One of Jersey Shore’s abs-ent minded trainwrecks is releasing a track and TMZ has the clip of it. The overly autotuned song is called “The Situation” (of course) and it’s a collaboration with Fatman Scoop, DJ Class, The Disco Fries.

The song sounds like something a guy just did at home in his garage with his friend when he was just learning how to put music together and play around with autotune. It’s terrible. In fact, on the poll on TMZ where you can vote if you think the song is “Bad Ass” or “Just Bad,” 90% so far have said “Just Bad.” That was of course my vote as well.

Click Here to check it out…but you probably don’t want to.

This past weekend Bard on the Beach kicked off their 21st annual yearly summer fling in the infamous white tents at Vanier Park and I was fortunate enough to catch the premier show of Shakespeare’s comedy, Much Ado About Nothing. Much Ado About Nothing directed by Dean Paul Gibson is one of two shows playing on the mainstage at Bard this season alongside Anthony & Cleopatra, with Falstaff (Henry IV parts I & II) and Henry V playing on the more intimate studio stage. Performances started last week and run until the end of September (25th). Each spring my excitement builds throughout May knowing that the upcoming Bard on the Beach season is just around the corner and this year is definitely guaranteed to leave audiences in awe, and yearning for more.

I was particularly excited for this season as I have yet to see any of the four shows playing this season, guaranteeing my ability to learn something new and experience Shakespeare in its finest. Before I begin my review, I want to start with this simple statement, Much Ado About Nothing is the best Bard on the Beach production I have ever seen in my brief history of attendance, with 2008’s performance of Romeo and Juliet coming in a close second. The exquisite cast for Much Ado is like none other before, spanning age and race, to create the perfect mesh of acting and singing talent that I have ever witnessed assembled on a Vancouver stage. Yes, that is a very bold statement and I have see some brilliant Shakespearean performances; however, this one has a slight personal twist that pushes this production into the top spot.

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Shut It Down! Rachel Zoe Season 3 Coming Soon

In: Donovan, TV Shows

After what feels like forever, Bravo has set a premiere date for season three of “The Rachel Zoe Project“. Once again we can obsess over classic sound bites from our favorite anorexic celebrity stylist, Rachel Zoe on Tuesday August 3rd. The new season will feature a new cast member to Team Zoe since longtime employee (and my favorite) Taylor Jacobson has left the show and Rachel Zoe’s company.

At the end of last season, Taylor was finally given the promotion she had long asked for, but left shortly after the Season 2 finale aired. I can’t wait to see how the show and Rachel addresses Taylor’s departure. LA stylist Ashley Avignone has been added to fill Taylor’s shoes. How will she fit in and more importantly will she be able to match or surpass Taylor’s EPIC eye rolls. Gawd, I love her.

find out which celebrities will be making cameos after the jump

As the stunning 42-year old Kylie gets ready to release her 11th album (Aphrodite), she sat down with Nick Haramis of BlackBook Magazine in New York at a coffee shop. This is the first meeting of three, one of which is her photoshoot for the mag. Throughout the interview, they talk about her current album, her recently released video, her battle with cancer, her career path to date, and who Kylie is behind it all.

When talking about the album, she explained, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this about an album. Although I’m not taking the title too literally, Aphrodite is the goddess of love, and as far as the music goes, there’s a feeling of euphoria on this one.”

When asked if she was happy, she answered:

“Am I happy right now? What’s happy? I have moments of happiness and sometimes they’re even strung together, but I definitely have dark moments too. Thankfully, those don’t last very long. I can go down very quickly, but I won’t stay there.”

More after the jump…

This familiar face (and bod) is no surprise to these World Cup Hottie of the Day series. Cristiano Ronaldo (Lucky number 7), alongside David Beckham, are the two of most well-known football/soccer players for their skill and assets. This 25 year old’s soccer reputation and good looks have given this babe superstar status, the target of paparazzi and the heartthrob of many.

Stats:

  • Date of Birth: 5 February 1985
  • Height: 185 cm
  • Shirt number: 7
  • Position: Forward
  • Current club: Real Madrid (ESP)
  • International Goals: 22

Interesting fact is that despite his European upbringing, Ronaldo doesn’t drink. The choice was made after his father (José Dinis Aveiro) died of alcoholism at the young age of 52. When the Daily Mirror had reported that he was drinking heavily in a nightclub in July of 2008, he sued and received libel damages over a Daily Mirror that reported him drinking heavily in a nightclub when he had been recovering from an injury.

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My All-Time Favourite Play: Huis Clos

In: Adam, Random Reads, The Arts

Dear nerds, any self-respecting, pretentious (in that good way where you know they meant to say “lain” but they didn’t and you let it go anyway) homo knows about this play: “Huis Clos”. Commonly referred to by the hoi polloi as “No Exit”, this French play by Jean-Paul Sartre is often revered as the best literary example of existentialism. First performed in Paris at the Théâtre du Vieux-Colombier in May 1944, the piece was notably written while France was still under the rule of the Nazis. For those out-of-the-know (or still completely unclear about it because a specific definition is actually ridiculously hard to perfectly summarize), existentialism is the school of thought that philosophy should focus on man’s individual existence, his thoughts, emotions, responsibilities and particularly his actions. This play is the amazingly written personification of just that.

Before you flip away from this article out of boredom, let me pull up the lead and tell you this play is about three recently deceased adults trapped in a room for eternity- it’s Hell they soon come to realize. The man is a philandering coward, the older bitch is a scheming lesbo and the slut is a gold-digging baby killer (okay, I went sensational on the terminology there to retain your interest, but the facts are true ;)

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Behind The Cast: My iLife

In: Behind The Cast, Patrick

I take a lot more pictures than I used, now that it’s integrated into my phone. I have an iPhone, and for a phone, I have to say that it doesn’t take bad pictures at all. With a digital camera, I never used to take it out with me – because who needs an extra bulky object in their pocket when they go out, right? Therefore, my camera stayed home all the time, neglected like the feather duster in all of those Swiffer commercials.

Now, I take pictures of everything – all the time. I think Facebook has a lot to do with that too because you can sort of document the random things you see by uploading them as they happen.

I’ve compiled some of the various categories of pictures I have found on my iPhone.

My Dogs

I love my dogs. The black & tan one is Max, the spotted Blue Dapple one is Lucy. They are both miniature dachshund-chihuahua crosses.

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World Cup Hottie of the Day: Gerard Pique

In: Donovan, Sports & Health

Ola readers. Today we’re adding a little spice to our “World Cup Hottie of the Dayseries, with a bit of Spanish meat. Gerard Piqué definitely “piqued” my interest when I saw a shirtless picture of him. It was truly lust at first sight. The 6’3″ Spanish footballer current plays as a centre back for Spanish football club FC Barcelona.

During his still young career as an athlete he has already played for both the Manchester United and FC Barcelona leagues. The 23-year-old only started representing the Spanish national team in February 2009. Though he is relatively green, he has earned a few accolades including the Don Balón Award for Breakthrough Player in 2008.

During FIFA’s 2010 World Cup, he will be a defender for the Spanish team roster. Pique is considered to be a dominant, dangerous and stylish and cultured defender. With his commanding presence in the backline, he has demonstrated a panache for taking the ball out of the defence, often attracting comparisons to legendary German sweeper, Franz Beckenbauer.

Stats:
Date of Birth: Feb 2, 1987
Height: 6″3.5″
Shirt number: 3
Position: Center back, defender
Current club: Catalonia (Spain)
World Team: Spain

view shirtless pics of Gerard after the jump

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