So last night I was grumpy, Cat was wearing a shiteous outfit, Billy was injured, and the dancing was just mediocre. Hopefully there is some redemption tonight. I’m not grumpy… so that’s a good start. And Cat looks much cuter… although I could do without the wilting rose in her hair. Who will join the injured Billy Bell in the bottom three? It’s time to find out.

The show opens up with a group number to All That Jazz by Lea DeLaria and choreographed by Kelley Abbey. Sounds like a Broadway number to me. Mark is front and centre… always a good thing. Ade is there too with Allison, Courtney, Neil, and Lauren. I only see four of the actual contestants. Billy is still out and Jose is nowhere to be seen. Maybe the choreo was too hard from him… or ANOTHER INJURY? It was a nice Broadway number. The dancers all worked it pretty well. It was cute. Mark is definitely the star. Remember when Nigel used to give him such a hard time. Suck it Nigel.

After the intros and a tribute to dance legend Denise Jefferson, there is still no explanation for Jose’s absence from the group number. My first guess must’ve been right. He wasn’t good enough. Time to get rid of him then!

After all of the pleasantries, Cat brings out the five remaining dancers. Lauren is the first one safe. Yay! Kent is safe too. Excellent. That leaves Adechike, Robert and Jose. Two of them will be with Billy in the bottom three. Before we find out who it will be, we are treated to some dancers from the American Ballet Theatre. They perform the Grand Pas de Deux from Act III of Don Quixote. It was lovely… did you see how far up that guy’s ass his tights were riding? OMG.

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Hey peeps. It’s Rich. Dan is away this week. Where? I don’t know. He’s always been a bit of an enigma… or is that enema? Don’t tell him I wrote that… he’ll totally cut me out of the Mario Kart parties.

Recap WARNING. I’m grumpy… I may lash out at Nigel because I loathe his lecherous ways and I’m still reeling from the loss of Ashley and Alex due to injury. That AND I just found out too amazing friends who I love to bits are getting a divorce. Ugh. 2010 has not been a good year for relationships in my life and those around me. Oh… and the West End of Vancouver is CRAWLING with bridge and tunnel hooligans. I hate fireworks nights. Come on SYTYCD… cheer this grumpy ginger up!!!

Oh shit. There’s only five dancers in the opening and WHAT IS CAT WEARING?! Billy is missing and Cat is wearing chiffon curtains. WTF is going on. They’re dropping like flies! Billy Bell has injured his knee. It doesn’t sound as serious as the last two, but he is not going to perform tonight. He’s in the bottom three automatically. At least it wasn’t Lauren! Guest judge Kenny Ortega is here by the way.

LAUREN FRODERMAN

First up is Lauren. She got a Tabitha and Napoleon hip hop routine with Twitch. Come on Girl! Bring it! It’s some sort of western theme. She’s the last girl standing and has to fight! They dance to My Chick Bad by Nicki Minaj. Still grumpy. I didn’t love the choreography, Twitch looked ridiculous in the tacky (literally and figuratively) chaps, and the song was gimmicky. BUT, Lauren was pretty good for what she was given to work with. I think she actually worked the routine better than Twitch. She definitely has a hip hop heiny. Adam thought she was hot, Mia thought she went hard and sexy, Kenny thought she was powerful, and Nigel said she was “nasty buck”. Meh.

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If you go out in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise. If you go out in the woods today, you’d better go in disguise. For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain, because today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic!

That’s right boys, on Sunday July 4th, 2010, Vancouver is all about the bears, otters, wolves, and their little friends having some fun for a fantastic cause. There are three events… The Gingerbear’s Brunch, Camp Poke-a-Bear, and Cub-a-Licious. After all the hairy frivolity, a whole bunch of money will have been raised for Camp Moomba and its efforts to send children affected by HIV/AIDS to summer camp. How awesome is that!

So here are the deets.

The Gingerbear’s Brunch @ J Lounge (1216 Bute)

Start your day off by satisfying the rumble down below with the Gingerbear’s Brunch at J Lounge from 11:30 am to 2:00 pm. You can reserve a table by calling 604-609-6665. You know this Ginger won’t miss out on this one! Maybe I’ll grow the beard extra thick and red by then!

more events after the jump

Previously on Survivor, Rupert finally got his scraggly lice infested beard voted out. That leaves Colby Donaldson as the lone hero… but he has been anything but heroic this season. On the Villains side, Parvati, Sandra, and Russell are fighting tooth and nail to win it. Jerri on the other hand is playing the quiet game. Can she slide into the finals? Will Parvati and Russell turn on each other? Can Sandra lip her way to another million? Can Colby win a challenge? Stay tuned!

We start off this week with the final five celebrating another successful tribal council. Well… “celebrating” might be the wrong word. They’re actually fighting. Gotta love the Villains. Russell is pissed at Sandra for keeping her idol a secret and he’s accusing her of wasting it. Then he starts accusing Parvati of lying. Russell has totally lost his mind. He has no perspective on the game. He thinks he’s the only one that is allowed to make moves. Ultimately, Sandra and Parvati just shrug it off and mock him a bit more. He must HATE watching these episodes and these women belittling him. I love it. Parvati says she could care less if Russell is running around stomping his feet like a two year old child.

Colby loves it too. His only hope is an immunity win or a total villain implosion. And Russell’s temper is playing into Colby’s corner. Russell’s sights are now set on Parvati because she’s too much of a competitor and threat. He thinks it’s time to get rid of her. Russell secretly hopes that Colby wins immunity so the choice is made for him. If he can get rid of Parvati, the jury has to give him the million because Sandra and Jerri don’t deserve it. He certainly hasn’t lost any of his end-game arrogance from Samoa.

At the immunity challenge, the castaways compete in a dish stacking competition we first saw in China. They have to place plates and bowls of different sizes on a small wobbly platform. One hand to place the dishes, one hand to hold the rod steady. This looks like a must win for Parvati and Colby. Sandra, of course, is the first one out. Surprisingly Colby doesn’t fall right after her. LOLs. Jerri is the second one out of the challenge. Then Russell. Wow. So it’s down to the people who need it most. DRAMA! My money’s on Parvati. She has been soooo solid. Yep! Parvati wins it! Colby’s plates crashed. Looks like his days are numbered. Jerri’s annoyed. She REALLY wanted Parvati gone.

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Previously on Survivor, the producers threw a curveball at our castaways with two tribal councils in two days. Candice turned on her heroic clan just to get voted out the very next day. Then Russell tried to manipulate Parvati and Danielle into a fight. The girls didn’t believe a word he said… so he went to his back-up plan… bullying. Danielle broke down at Tribal which freaked Jerri out. She joined up with Russell, Colby, and Rupert to take out Parvati’s number one gal. Can Parvati and Russell mend their broken fence? Will Rupert and Colby be able to take advantage of the apparent rift with the Villains?

Before we start… I have to tell you that his was one of the BEST Survivor episodes EVER. So much amazeballing. I loved every minute of it. Hold on to your buffs.

The episode started off in the dark back at camp. Parvati confesses that she’s pissed, but she refuses to let Russell know it. She no longer trusts him, but she doesn’t want him to know that. Jerri tells Parv that Danielle messed up… that’s why she changed her vote. Russell tells us that Jerri will do anything he says and now Parvati will have to come crawling back to him. Russell my love… somehow I doubt that very much. Haven’t you figured out that Parvati is WAY smarter than you? After all the confessionals, the three of them pretend to be all nicey nicey. Villains rock.

Then we get some Rupert time. UGH. I have never liked Rupert. I don’t get America’s love for him. He sucks, he’s delusional, and he’s a hypocrite. Rupert tells us that he keeps getting closer and closer to the million. If that happens… fuck.

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Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the wannabes continued their misadventures in New Zealand. Tyrant decided it was time to step behind the camera as the episode’s photographer. Thankfully, she didn’t wear one of her HEINOUS jump suits. Despite the edgy and shadowy concept, Jessica wasn’t able to overcome her gorgeous commercial looks. It must suck to be cut for being too pretty. That left Alexandra (the token plus-sized girl who likes getting knocked off runways), Krista (the haggardy girl making a late game surge), Raina (the GORGEOUS girl who actually looks like a model that Tyrant keeps sabotaging), and Angelea (the wannabe that looks most like an old tranny) in the running. Who will be named America’s Next Top Model from the series’ most lackluster cycle to date?

We start off the two hour finale with Krista jumping and screaming about getting best picture. She’s won best pic three weeks in a row. The girls are all excited about being in the top four. Alexandra is choked that she hasn’t won best photo at all. She’s bitter that Raina could ride her “face” all the way to victory. Angelea … who has a GIANT zit on her chin… is choked that Krista keeps doing so well. The jealousy coming out of her and Alexandra is palpable.

Then Andre Leon Talley shows up with an arm full of bouquets for the girls. Nice. He’s gonna have a little chat with the them. Wow. A one on one sit down with Vogue’s fashion editor is a pretty epic opportunity. I hope they all make good use of his time. He tells the girls all about what it’s like to be in the fashion industry. Thankfully Krista asked what we have all been DYING to know. What does dreckitude mean? He says “drek” means dreadful. ALT tells the girls that his first New York job was as an assistant to Andy Warhol. He payed him 50 bucks a week… mmmhmmm. I bet he did!

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In honor of Mother’s Day, some of the Homorazzi cast has decided to proclaim their love to their respective mothers on the website. We hope you enjoy the read.

I love my Mom, and just recently we’ve developed a relationship of being less Mother/Son and more friends who can share a good laugh and story over a drink or two. While growing up, I never thought that I would come to a place where I actually WANTED to hang out with my parents, but that day came knocking on my door a few years back after I invited them to my 23rd birthday party and they actually showed!

It dawned on my that my Mom is a pretty rad woman who cares a lot about her family and who’s sole goal in life is to make sure her children and grandchildren have everything in the world they could possibly want, even before her own needs. For this, I take my hat off to her, and say I love you with all my heart.

She hasn’t had the easiest life, but I would like to think that the few beers we shared in sun are well remembered and will keep her smiling!

Thanks for everything Momma, I love you!

- Daniel

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Previously on Survivor, Parvati let Russell give her the idol JT stupidly gave to him after she found her own hidden immunity idol and decided not to tell him anything about it. Got that? In a brilliant move after the merge, Parvati handed an immunity idol to Jerri and Sandra setting up JT to be knocked out by his own idol idiocy. When it was all said and done, Russell was pissed. He doesn’t like getting shown up. Why? Because he is the king of Survivor… the best player ever… the most amazing little troll ever to walk the earth… blah blah blah. So over him. Thankfully, Parvati showed us how real gamers play. Are they going to come to blows? Can the Heroes take advantage?

When the gang all returns from the EPIC Tribal Council, the Heroes immediately begin licking their wounds. Candice is congratulating the Villains for a crazy move. She’s clearly sucking up. Rupert is annoyed that the rest of the Heroes didn’t listen to him. Sandra tried to warn them, but they wouldn’t listen. More specifically, JT wouldn’t listen. He pushed back on Rupert’s pleas not to trust Russell. JT got what he deserved.

In the dark, Russell finally gets his chance to confront Parvati. He’s pissed and accuses her of lying to him. She denies any lying and simply tells him to get over it. Danielle backs her up and Jerri wisely keeps her mouth shut. She’s just happy it saved her.

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Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Alexandra continued to suck really bad but somehow managed to stay in the competition. The girls had to model heinous hair suits and endure one of the show’s most grotesque displays of OTTT (that’s Over-The-Top-Tyrant) EVER. Did I mention that this year’s international fashion destination is New Zealand? Yep. Awesome. Not really. Yawn. Krista won an undeserved first photo so she gets to sit first class all the way to KiwiVille. That’s neat. Only six girls remain, who will be eliminated tonight?

We start off this week with Raina saying they are luckiest six girls in the entire world. Really? Because you get to go to New Zealand? Wow. Remember when ANTM went to Paris, Milan, London, or Tokyo. They were lucky. You’re getting screwed. Alexandra is bummed that she was in the bottom two and admits that she deserved it because her picture was “heinous”. I agree. Finally someone is talking sense on this show!

Once they get to Auckland, Jessica shows her skills in geography when she tells the camera she thought “New Zealand was right above Canada or something”. WTF. What do they teach these girls in the gold ol’ US of A? Then the girls meet up with some locals and get the shit scared out of them by some traditional Maori dancing. Basically, some big buff half naked tattooed men flail and hit themselves. Hot. It’s called Haka. After the dancing, Miss J tells the girls that they’re off to do some Go-Sees. They freak out. I relish in the opportunity to laugh at the inevitable situation where girls rush against the ticking clock to get back on time. You know it’s going to happen. It happens every cycle.

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