Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant did some stuff, some models cried, some new judges came on board, some girls cried some more, and a wannabe was given a relatively pointless title. Other than that, I have no idea. I took the Cycle off. That’s right. Tyrant’s punishment for the debacles that were Angelea’s force fed win slash re-shot ending in AllStars and then AzMarie’s brutal dismissal for refusing to booty touche in the British Invasion cycle and then firing Nigel, I just couldn’t do it anymore. After 17 Cycles of bitchy, fun, and loyal recaps, Tyrant finally wore me down with her nonsense. But I’m back! Fresh from months of blissful ANTM-free life. New boyfriend (woof!), new job (yay!), and the same snarky attitude towards the wannabes. And blessed be… we have boys and girls this year! There better be some chest hair.
Okay. Ready. I’m going to live type this reveal… clicking link now… waiting… oh GOOD LORD. There is some serious heroin crystal chic shit going on! Seriously. My first reactions:
Okay… let’s take a look at these wannabes one by one.
If you’re an avid reader of the site, you might’ve noticed there was a shortage of articles Sunday. Reason being was, we were all busy having our Christmas staff party. Given everyone’s busy schedules this time of year, it’s almost next to impossible to find a date that works for everyone. Surprisingly, all but three of us were able to make it yesterday. That’s a pretty amazing feat considering our busy lives and Alex, Kevin and Topher not currently living in the same city as the most of us. Check out the pic above. The only people missing from the pic are Nic (his BF’s sis was in town), Stephen (was there earlier but had to leave for another engagement) and Alex (LA) and Kevin (Toronto).
It was great to have so many of us together to laugh, catch up and reminisce about the early days of the site. Not to sound super cheesy, but there’s this amazing energy among all of us when we’re all in the same room. With our recent accomplishments, it was nice to sit back and relax for one night and pat each other on the back.
In between all the laughs and drinks, we decided to have a gingerbread contest. We split up into two different teams determined by names out of the hat. Team 1 (my team) won the right to pick either the house or the train. We opted for the train. Each team was given only 30 minutes to build, decorate, and come up with a theme for their creation. Now, we need your help to decide which team pulled it off better. Cast your votes so we can declare a winner and give one team bragging rights over the other.
THANKS again to all of you for making Homorazzi.com such a success in a short period of time. We have the best readers on the internet for sure.
Yesterday, fellow cast member Rich and myself, along with a group of our friend, participated in the BC Cancer Foundation’s “The Underwear Affair“. The annual event is to raise money for and bring awareness to the “hidden” cancers like prostate, colorectal, ovarian, testicular, bladder, cervical, and uterine. It was my first time participating in the event and I had a blast.
SO much money was raised ($633,000) and so many people went all out in their costumes and group themes. Ours was “Boardroom Briefs,” but it was the amazing “Screamin’ Seamen” that won best group, dressed in sailor outfits. Their group name was amazing.
The run itself was 10 km in downtown Vancouver, along the seawall, over the Burrard Street Bridge, then around False Creek. With over 1,000 people participating in the event, It certainly got a lot of attention as people honked their horns and cheered everyone on. I finished 39th out of 621 runners with a time of 46:49 – I’m happy with that! After the run, everyone rewarded themselves with some well-deserved refreshing beer. We had a lot of fun and I highly recommend participating next year. Check out a few more pictures of our team below.
1992-1997: Those were the years I graced the halls of a suburban high school in my oversized flannel shirts and backwards baseball caps. I dated girls (held hands that is!) and secretly crushed on David Chokachi and Doug Savant. I was a bit of a band/drama/student council geek who played hockey on the side. I stole my brothers’ cds so I could make mixed tapes for my 1989 Silver Ford Taurus with burgundy interior. My friends called it the “CliTaurus”. I loved those mixed tapes. It was so much better when you had to hunt down cds or record shit off the radio. Napster wasn’t around yet and MP3s were still some tech geek’s wet dream.
I used to risk life and limb to steal music from my older brother Jeff’s ghetto blaster. I had friends with a very particular grunge-light point of view. And of course, I can’t overstate the impact of Canadian content laws in an era when music mostly came from the radio and MuchMusic. Those three things absolutely shaped my mid 90s mixed tapes. The latter is the most interesting. In high school, we had a program called BRAT – Broadcasting Recording Arts Technology. In other words, we had our very own radio station. It was so Saved By The Bell. So 90s. It was called C-FLY and was broadcast over the school’s PA system. My group was the definitely the grunge-light group. Think Empire Records meets Lilith Fair.
After spending some time updating my iPod with some of my faves from that era, I thought I’d share with you the best of the best. Here are the 10 best musical acts of my formative mid 90s high school days….
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant made up for the surprise Alisha/Eboni double boot with a recap episode of never before seen “highlights”. I didn’t watch. Obviously. I was busy. Well… not THAT busy, but I hate reCRAP episodes. Before that however, the final three battled it out in a giant perfume bottle for ANTM scented glory. Annaliese, despite overcoming Kelly Cutrone’s powerful hate-on for her, could not pull off a surprise run to the finale and got the boot. That left us with the two blondes… one Yank and one Brit. There’s a shocker. For the most part, this season has been lackluster and drab with a few stand out episodes… but hardly anything to celebrate. So who will take home the crown? Laura or Sophie? Does my fave Sophie have a shot? Can a British girl really win AMERICA’S Next Top Model? Does Tyrant even give a crap about what any of us think? Only two girls remain. Who will be America’s Next Top Model?
Alright peeps… it’s time to put this Cycle to bed! But first, I gotta tell you about Snow White and the Huntsman. Dan and I just checked out the advanced screening. It should be called Bella Swan and Thor Go on a Psychedelic Acid Trip With Charlize Theron in Fierce Couture. Seriously. It had some pretty amazing moments, but really didn’t know what it was trying to be. That being said, Charlize Theron is effing FIERCE. And better yet… the FASHION. Dan and I were living for her outfits. The bird skull trim! The feathered cowl! The silver dangling chin straps! Epic.
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, there was a lot of blubbering as the wannabes had to pose on the edge of a building and a couple of them almost crapped their pants. There was also some heavy panting as Laura lusted after a Hong Kong action star amidst accusations from the others of sluttery. And if that wasn’t enough drama, Alisha tried to fall on her top model sword for Eboni of all people and offered to go home instead of the pigtailed wonder. Tyrant was not amused. She sent them both packing. Crazy! Almost as crazy as Kelly Cutrone’s ongoing hate-on for Annaliese. How many times will Laura say sex? Will Annaliese be able to convince Kelly that she’s a model? Can Sophie rebound from her fear-filled photoshoot? Only three wannabes remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Here we go folks… the penultimate episode that will decide the final two of one of the most lackluster Cycles on record. Ratings are down, our patience with Tyrant is running razor thin, the photoshoots were average with only a couple standouts, the drama was artificial, and there were a lack of girls to really root for. But hey… that could all change if Sophie wins! Team Sophie. And in the immortal words of Robyn from Cycle 1…. “Oooooooh Jesus”!
In honor of Mother’s Day, some of the Homorazzi cast has decided to proclaim their love to their respective mothers on the website. We hope you enjoy the read.
I love my Mom, and just recently we’ve developed a relationship of being less Mother/Son and more friends who can share a good laugh and story over a drink or two. While growing up, I never thought that I would come to a place where I actually WANTED to hang out with my parents, but that day came knocking on my door a few years back after I invited them to my 23rd birthday party and they actually showed!
It dawned on my that my Mom is a pretty rad woman who cares a lot about her family and who’s sole goal in life is to make sure her children and grandchildren have everything in the world they could possibly want, even before her own needs. For this, I take my hat off to her, and say I love you with all my heart.
She hasn’t had the easiest life, but I would like to think that the few beers we shared in sun are well remembered and will keep her smiling!
Thanks for everything Momma, I love you!
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the wannabes landed in Macau for this year’s international trip. They’re staying in a pretty swank place but had to endure one the Cycle’s lamest challenges… astrology reading… before throwing on some silk worms for a photo shoot. Tyrant managed to pick a terrible shot of Catherine to justify sending her home over darling Eboni who took one of the worst photos of the entire season. That girl’s neck was nowhere to be seen… one of Top Model’s most deadly sins. Oh Tyrant. You’re so special. And by special I mean transparent and hypocritical. Will Eboni’s pigtails keep her in the game? Can the Brits stay in the lead? Who will get manipulated off the show? Only five girls are left. Who will be eliminated tonight?
So here we are. Down to five. When you look at the girls left… does anyone other than Sophie or Laura even have a shot? Granted, it should’ve been AzMarie, but she got kicked off because she pissed off Tyrant and didn’t booty tooch. The thing is, AzMarie’s “brand” was androgynous and probably shouldn’t have been booty tooching according to Tyrant’s book of nonsense. If one of the blondes goes home tonight, I’ll lose it. You have been warned.