Though I often come across as holier-than-thou with my articles about guys in relationships having never been one and therefore being free from persecution, this time I’m
ranting discussing the topic of friends once they’re OUT of their “forever love”. Once the other shoe drops, the other guy cheats, they both cheat, they realize they’re both bottoms, they find out the other one isn’t really as circumcised as they originally thought, WHATEVER; the point is, your friend is broken up and now he needs and wants you- his friend- like he never needed you before. Actually, let me set that straight, he needs you now like he absolutely didn’t need you in his life at all a hot minute earlier when he was “in love” and couldn’t care less about his friends because focus was laser pointed on loverboy and friendships be damned. Have you ever had a friend who dropped you and “the gang” the second he got into a relationship and the exact moment that all-consuming passion ended he boomeranged right back into your lives as if nothing had changed? Well, I call bullshit.
Get your comments ready and roarin’ to go on this one. Yes, we’ll cover the possible jealousy from my angle. Yes, I’ll allow that maybe I’m not being the BEST friend ever. But, I’m sure as hell also going to look at how crappy this feels to friends who repeatedly get this done to them and question the motive of these boomerangers who seem to expect it both ways and honestly get pretty freakin’ nettled when you call them on it. Often my articles are “subtly” about a recent exchange or interaction with someone close, but this one is just out of year in and out eye rolling annoyance with comrades who have complained alongside me about this selfish action and the turn around and do it themselves. Before you freak: this departure/return routine is NOT performed by all people who get into relationship. In fact, I RARELY see it in friends who get into truly long lasting and healthy relationships. Instead, I write to those repeat offenders who think your friends are just sitting by the phone waiting for the second you have time for them: we’re not. And, you’re kind of acting like a bag of dicks.
Following the success of Donovan‘s sexy post about the “Men of Sophia Bush” I thought I’d write up a throw back referral for all you thriller movie buffs out there about a not hugely known scare titled The Hitcher (2007). Starring the gorgeous and sublimely scratchy voiced Sophia Bush and the baby face cutie from Happy Endings, Zackary Knighton, this pseudo remake of the 80s cult classic of the same name updates the old campfire story of the maniac hitcher who tortures the unsuspecting good samaritans who pick him up on the side of the road. Slightly predictable in premise, this film does what I love in all torture movies: has the good guys fighting back and playing dirty to do what they can to survive and even get some revenge. I LOVE a good revenge story and this mos def one has that.
The antagonist is played by the impossibly handsome Sean Bean and more than a few times while he’s wielding his switch blade to the younger drivers you question if it wouldn’t be a LITTLE hot to be taken hostage by this blond daddy… okay, I’m messed up. The story follows the cute love birds and tests their tolerance and devotion to one another, and their ability to take a punch (stab, bullet wound etc.) and keep on fighting. You absolutely have to watch the trailer below to get a good sense of what you’re getting into with this one because it really is as action packed as the clip makes it seem. Admittedly, the reviews on this puppy are not great but screw those ink print nerds: I thought it was a blast of a movie and terrifying as shit at moments. It DOES get a little out of control with police chases and helicopter shoot outs but suspend your beliefs for an hour and a half and think twice next time before you pick up the hot daddy on the side of the road (even as I write that, I know I’m picking up any daddies, anytime ha).
As we celebrate being canucks up here in my beautiful home of Vancouver next weekend, what better way to enjoy the sun (yes, I checked the weather report and placed a call- I know people) than to dance your ass off at the biggest venue we gays get to enjoy on a semi-regular basis: Club 560 for its upcoming Canada Day party Reach Around. Not only is this one of Vancouver’s most recent gay haunts, but Club 560 is definitely up there on the luxury charts with three huge floors, couch areas and black leather as far as the eye can see. I’ve never had anything but the best of times at these events as there’s always different people, music and scenery to check out as you bounce from level to level until you find the one that fits you best (okay, now I’m just talking about guys haha).
As a statutory holiday weekend, you have NO excuse not to join myself and the Vancouver boys at this one and use Sunday and into Monday to recover because you are gonna get druuuuunk and have some good times at this puppy. As a newer event to our hamlet, I can tell you that the crowd will be a perfect mix of age, body types, styles and groups (and by that I mean everything from paper twinks to muscle daddies… great now I’m hard again). This one isn’t a “one type of guy” only party and doesn’t exclude anyone: come one and all and find the hottest maple syrup lover you can get your hands on… eh!
Let’s just get the important stuff out first: the guys in this movie are HOT. Not Abercrombie/Details magazine perfectly ripped hot, but straight guys who “probably would if they were drunk enough cause they seem pretty cool with it” disheveled and cute as hell hot. Just right, thank you very much for coming out Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes ;)
John Dies at the End is a… lord, how do I even describe this one? It’s a cross between The Matrix, A Scanner Darkly, Chronicle, Men in Black, Bill and Ted and a whole lot of other movies. It’s sci fi, horror, indie, comedy and it’s WEIRD. But, it’s good weird- and, like I said before, kind of sexy weird. Basically, the movie follows two burn out best friends who turn into pseudo ghost buster/super heroes with semi psychic, time bending and super sensory powers due to a liquid they imbibe code named “soy sauce”. They are granted the ability to see ghosts, monsters and people from other dimensions that we lay people only ever catch a glimpse of in the corner of our eye. In doing so, they work to save the Earth from an evil invasion of half naked pig looking people. Honestly, I watched the movie a week ago so the deets might not be DEAD on but you’re gonna watch this one stoned anyway so you won’t be writing me with corrections. It’s only about an hour and a half long and does have funny and CGI action moments that make it worth a watch… did I mention there’s two hot guys in it?
How much do you LOVE when your nearest and dearest decide that their walls are the exact right place to post that SUPER cute picture of them and their hubby kissing by the beach, or holding hands and looking lovingly into each others’ eyes or doin’ the selfie shot from bed together come Sunday morning as they declare themselves the: “Best Couple Ever!“? Does the photo remind you that love exists and that dreams really do come true for you and yours or does it make you consider deleting the gnats or at the very least hiding all their further updates from your news feed?
Honestly, until just 5 seconds before typing this line I WAS going to say that I was going to remain impartial for this article and write from both points of view on this issue, but screw it, people already can’t stand me so I may as well stand up for my convictions: I LOATHE cutesy couple facebook posts. I’m sure you’ve had this talk with most of your friends at some point and while it seems that the rumbling among us seem to agree with my side it’s the lovey-dovey posters that seem to win out with day in and out updates of how amazing their relationship is. Blech. I needed to write a purge article to express my annoyance and hopefully hear from both sides of this debate to see if I’m just a cynical spinster or justified jury of one on this. Is it okay to post “Look at us!” posts of your relationship on facebook?
In an upcoming episode of the brand new TNT competition series 72 Hours, Mr. Gay USA 2011 Michael Holtz roughs it up in the untamed wilderness down under in their June 13 episode entitled: “Lost Coast of New Zealand“. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous that it’s the outback that gets roughed up by this blond beast and not me!
Not just a pretty face and a title, this boy has actually been tremendous for the LGBT equal rights movement and a gay pioneer in the world of athletics and for that I tip my hat to him (and take off my pants- whatever he’s into!). This new competition reality show takes Jeff Probst’s Survivor “challenges” and jacks them with steroids as they drop 3 teams of 3 strangers into the middle of nowhere as they’re left to scramble for 72 hours in outrageous conditions with nothing but the clothes they’re wearing, a GPS and one bottle of water (I’m assuming each??!) trying to find a briefcase with $100,000 in it. Hell, I get lost finding a friend’s house with Google maps, a car and 3 cans of sugar free Red Bull! The show airs 9PM (ET/PT) and is worth a watch for those following this activist’s career, adrenalin junkies or gays looking to see this guy- I’m sure- have his shirt torn in half at some point!
Well Christ, if everyone is doing it I may as well get fitted for one myself: harness anyone?
Kink takes form in the Priape Leather Fetish Ball this coming June 22, 2013 at the very modern and Red Room Ultrabar- gotta love a change of venue once in a while! Bears, babes and bottoms alike all know that I have a penchant for the more extreme ends of the spectrum, so a fetish event to kick of Vancouver’s REAL start to summer (yup, late June… it’s that bad here) is exactly what the doctor ordered and I’m sure the party will have it all. Demanding fetish wear from its attendees (no lookie-loos allowed in order to make the scene as comfortable and charged as possible), you will find rubber, sports kits, uniforms and LEATHER of all kinds at this night so make sure to wear what gets ya hard cause SOMEone there will be into it.
Attracting a huge mix of ages, interests and scenes- I’m told by the organizers- this one is selling strong and is a must attend for anyone NOT just looking to dance in a tankini next to the same ol’ scene queens to a Taylor Swift song until 2am. I’m looking most forward to experiencing a group of gays that might not populate the typical clubs on a weekend night and finding out what makes them tick (…”tick” is slang for “have a huge erection“, right?).
I’ll tell you right now, if this group of straighties had a couple gays at their brunch, things would NOT have turned out as disastrously as they did for these heteros. Without giving anything away (though the man in the hazmat suit on the cover of the poster doesn’t help much with keep up the “big surprise” of the film), It’s a Disaster surrounds the Sunday Brunch of 4 couples as they introduce new boyfriends, enjoy vegan cuisine and reveal deep dark secrets about one another. No, this isn’t a thriller and no one stole anyone’s baby, BUT drama is aplenty with this motley crew of flawed lovers as they completely ignore the food in front of them (thank god not the liquor though) and have at er’!
Staring memorable funny b-listers like Arrested Development‘s David Cross who plays (ya RIGHT) the date of Bourne Identity‘s Julia Stiles alongside Ugly Betty’s now pretty America Ferrera (I say “now” because OBVIOUSLY I didn’t catch her in Sisterhood of the Traveling whatever… I am a top!). They keep the “acting” side of this movie alive while the other co-stars mainly push through with neurotic and oft slutty performances that hide their greenness to the screen. That said, Erinn Hayes of TV-flop Worst Week plays a Type-A bitch to a tee- she even gives me a run for my money. The plot is unique basing their horrendous brunch around an actual man-made disaster affecting the rest of the world outside and humour here is at its best when things are at their most realistic as the couples allow their “always late” friends to actually die because of their truancy. The movie isn’t winning awards but is great for a first or fiftieth date night in.