Here we go again. Homorazzi is back to review the latest updates on the “models” as they pose for a new photo shoot, some Behind the Scene videos and (yikes) self-written mini-bios. Having endured the slings and arrows of death threats (okay, more like “I’m gonna give you the rong [sic] foam next time you come into the Starbucks I’ve been working at for the last 6 years if you make fun of my bf one more time” threats ;), I’m back and ready to give the straight talk on the boys’ latest profile updates. Struggling to keep up with the myriad of new content Mirateca has been putting out (be reasonable on Terry, I have a lot of hangovers to deal with and the team of Jewish writers I have coming up with this stuff doesn’t come cheap!), I’m doing my best to catch up folks, so be patient! I’ll get around to
laughing fairly considering everything eventually, so don’t fret.
The first year of this competition revolved around a pseudo-reality tv-show style, while my round was an abundance of live show performances and speeches (the only reason I got any votes outside my paid friends I’m sure of it ha)- whereas this year has gone completely digital and opted instead to pour out a ton of internet postings of numerous photo and video shoots to show us the boys. In an attempt to let us know what we’re paying for, the producers at Gay Top Model have recently given us a less photoshoped and edited version of the would-be-models, and, I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking this, but for more than a couple, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask for my money back. I’ll be reviewing the front/back/side profile shots at the bottom of the boys’ profile pages done in “Polaroid” style where little make up is worn (and even less clothing) as well as the mini-story they write about themselves/their day and finally the Behind the Scene videos where the boys are mostly caught in various states of undress, giving us an occasionally unfortunate look into the mannerisms and let’s call it “voice styles” of some of the lovely ladies. Here we go!
As I plan for my trip down to Seattle this weekend, I take a quick second to check out the restaurant/bar we’ll be boozing at for our friend Chris’ 30th, and was annoyed to find out that the venue we’re taking over boasts a great deal on liquor and appies during their EIGHT HOUR “Happy Hour”.
I know, why should that anger me? Because the LST (Liquor Sales Tax) obsessed goons of the restaurant and bar businesses in Vancouver rarely if ever offer the same deals up here. One of my friends’ absolute favourite part about the occasional jaunts down South (other than the slew of boys we’ve never tapped) is the offer of painfully cheap booze and food. You Americans may not get your politics right a lot of them time, but god damn you know how to make Bacchic gorging affordable! I’m sure fellow writer Nic is the most pained as a wine-lover and not just because of the copious varietals offered at your local Ralph’s grocery store, but because of how CHEAP their prices are in comparison to our costly “import fees” up here grrr. And, for those youngin’ too newborn to have seen shows like Cheers and the “parent scenes” from Dawson’s Creek, “Happy Hour” is a time usually around 4PM till about 6 or 8PM offering near half-price deals on beer, cocktails and sometimes appetizers. The name is actually an understatement for how great you feel by the time you get the bill: both because of the tiny number on it and because of how drunk you get attempting to pound 5 Bud Lights by the time 6PM rolls around ;)
As “one of those” people who watch shows like “Grey’s” and “Scrubs” for not only the awesome jokes and crushing drama but for their typically amazing soundtrack, this is one of my best TV show/movie finds in a while. A sucker for the acoustic and soulful sounds of guys like Conor Oberst, Joe Purdy, Chris Garneau and Obadiah Parker (okay, this list could go on forever), I was thrilled to find this new hard-to-find-on-limewire-and-impossible-on-torrent gem. Robert Francis is a classically unkempt acoustic rocker with a pained voice that slices right through you. Having already posted a couple of awesome YouTube renditions of original and covered songs by the aforementioned artists, I thought why not introduce you to my new favorite obsession.
Though I’m currently (it’s 3AM to be fair) struggling to remember exactly where I first heard this man, it doesn’t really matter nearly as much as what I found in the end: a treasure trove of songs by a brilliant, new artist. My top three songs by this succubus siren are definitely: “Little Girl”, “Junebug” and the epically long and tragically beautiful “One By One” (also the title of the album if interested!). If any of the artists- or even the TV shows- have hit a chord with ya, definitely continue reading to catch the music videos by this relevant and talented man.
On my last trip down to sunny LA I was at a terribly hungover lunch with our Cali-friend Hugo who was meeting me for the first time. As it does with nearly every meal I attend, the talk turned to sex and fetishes :) Rolling their eyes, Donovan and Patrick informed the newcomer of a predilection I have earned a bit of a reputation for over the past few years: an interest for men of a certain age and build.
Basically, I’ve got a bit of a thing for the daddies. Now, don’t get me wrong, a muscled, late 20-something is great and good, but I can’t say no to a big ol’ sturdy hunk of bearded man: the quintessential daddy. So, upon hearing this, Hugo informed me about a site made for boys like me: DaddyHunt.com. Clearly, the moment we got back to the hotel, I asked to borrow Donovan’s computer to “check my facebook”… and 4 minutes later my daddy huntin’ profile was up and running.
Taking a hiatus from my movie reviews- mostly because I’m utterly convinced it only appealed to about 8 readers on our site haha- I decided to return to the topic by taking up my most needy of genres: the indie. Now, before you click away, do give it a chance! Independent film has brought us some of the most revered and unexpected great ones of our time: “Requiem For a Dream”, “Trainspotting” and even “Juno”. Admittedly, my pics haven’t received as famous acclaim, but that’s what I’m here to do for ‘em. I’m looking at three darker pics- quelle surprise- that offer some new stories told by new actors on all new cinematic mediums. From “London to Brighton” to “Ink” to “Eden Log”, I’m gonna do my best to show you some great movies you’ve been passing over at the store for months now.
[God that's cute, pretending people still get movies from stores]
You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.
Honestly? Wow… Let’s just start with that. I’m sure all you contestant-lovin’ fag hags are tellin’ your closest mo’s they looked “GORgeous” in this latest attempt at fame. But, both you and I- and that litre of Ben and Jerry’s you’re pounding- know you’re lying. This video was model suicide. Congratulations to Aaron (winner from Cycle One) for embracing all the big girl jokes she received after stuffing herself into that banana-hammock during last year’s pride and becoming Aunt Jemima of the “model” world and bakin’ cookies for the girls… they do NOT need them by the way ;) But, the rest of us are still hoping this competition ends in a real model contestant for the first time, so keep those fat-cakes to yourself (Baby Duck “champagne” included ;) cause, some of those boys are still trying!
I fully appreciate the: “Stand here, turn your head from side-to-side” exercise they put the boys through (one of the harder tasks we endured as faux-models last year… joking), but honestly, some of the boys couldn’t even accomplish that. To top it off, having the “never-gonna-make-its” (for the most part) walk along a beam for the camera? Terry, be kind, please rewind! Let’s start them off with patting their head and rubbing their bellies at the same time… maybe then we would have seen less dives than Chris Chelios during a play off ;) Sports reference, yeah, I went there!
“Speedskater Catriona Le May Doan was left standing holding her torch aloft.”
Have more hilarious words ever been spoken? We all know I’m one of the bigger anti-Olympians out there, but nothing in the world could have prepared me for the utterly awesome failure that was last night’s torchlighting. Showing up in the 5th hour to Donovan’s busy Olympic viewing party, I made sure to sport my received-that-day “Nobody Cares” Vancouver 2010 t-shirt from bustedtees. Surviving the gauntlet of jeers from my brainwashed “pro 2010″ friends, I poured myself a huge glass of wine and settled down to watch the last 30 minutes of the show as K.D. Lang belted out “Hallelujah”.
As the ceremonies came to a close and two well-known Canadian men took the stage with their torches (and two barely-to-not-at-all known women as well), we all anxiously awaited the grand finale. Realizing that millions upon millions of dollars had been poured without any care in the world into this show, we all expected a pretty huge shabang. And, it did NOT disappoint. So, spread out in very original “boy/girl/boy/girl” style, the famed Canadians awaited the rise of their giant icicle torches: WAH WAHHHHH. As Wayne Gretzky, Steve Nash, Nancy Greene and Catriona Le May Doan all stood there expectantly, we at home (and in the stadium) realized something wasn’t right: the Olympic torchlighting began to abort…
Time and time again, I seem to end up commenting on the dumber aspects of politics while maintaining that I’m the cast member of Homorazzi the least interested in this world of prorogues and filibusters (don’t worry, I only use words I know ;). Still, I often come across something too funny not to put out there in retort to fellow writer Rich’s eye-rolling anger at me for not being more “involved” by being a “voter” (yes Rich, I put quotation marks around the word voter). This time it was the original Renegade herself: Sarah Palin. Though I spent this Sunday shouting “SCORE!!!” at the football big screen alongside my handsome and equally uninterested new friend Scott, others were apparently following a speech and interview by Sarah Palin amidst some sort of Tea Party Republican revolution against taxes, Obama and the like. Of importance to the hilarity of the situation is that Palin starts out her anti-POTUS rhetoric by mocking him as a “podium president” who wins the hearts of the people merely by repeating empty words prepared for him and parroted to his audience without thought… and then this happened!
Palin literally looks down at her hand and reads off some “key words” she hastily scribbled onto her palm before heading out on stage. I don’t mind the need to cheat, but come on: in a speech about the falseness of prepared words where Obama is mocked for being over-educated and not enough of a leader you end up looking like an 8th grade debater with cheat sheets up your sleeve? Please remember this woman very nearly became the next Vice President of the United States. You gotta love the Americans… and politics… and voting haha. What words did she choose as important enough to make her special list?
Lift American Spirit
Seriously?? Jon Stewart put it best in asking: “Do you really need a note to remind you to lift peoples’ spirits?” Icing on the cake: the tickets to this presentation were $300 a pop- no joke.