Well, Elise Testone has fallen and the group is down to 5. As we lose one of the most mature and natural performers we’ve ever seen, my list of faves is quickly melting away. I use to have a huge ear-crush on Jessica Sanchez but her reviews and performances have been a bit spotty recently as she’s lost her way some: I still see her insane voice as a real contender and see her Top 3. Skylar Laine has shockingly started to steal my heart as the country girl with brains whose twang has thankfully taken a back seat to her sweetness and beautiful sound: I’m liking her for a final spot as well. And, then of course there’s my boyfriend Phil Phils: of late, I’ve had to be a bit harsher on him as his sexy growl and looks are starting to lack in the face of the remaining talent. I still see him as a real iTunes seller, but am not sure he’s right for the gold ring. Finally, he have the bottoms: Joshua Ledet (yes I did just make that joke) and Hollie Cavanagh. I’ve been called out for being close-minded about Josh’s resale value after this show ends but I honestly don’t get the appeal of the church boy sound and Hollie is just not killing with her too-old looks and big voice.
Tonight, the kids again take on two songs each as they attempt British Pop and Songs from the 60s… Can you imagine what I’m going to say next? CHRIST Idol, you’re dating yourself even more?? I’ve been getting a lot of flack for not covering “The Voice” and considering the contemporary spin they actually put on their approach, I’m starting to wonder WTF myself! Full disclosure, I’ve also been getting a LOT of flack recently on the comments (though more than a couple nice knights have taken up defending me) for my lack of all things 80s and beyond particularly as far as RnB and Classic Rock is concerned so I’ll try to resist mentioning that I don’t actually know by name alone who Stevie Van Zandt from Bruce Springsteen‘s E Street Band and the Sopranos (tonight’s mentor) is as apparently letting people know you don’t know every song and artist from before you were born completely disqualifies you from having an opinion for what kind of sound and singing you like (yes, that was meant to be condescending and flippant, it wasn’t just the way you read it). Listen, no one knows absolutely everything about music: particularly about styles, artists or periods they don’t enjoy listening to. I’m here just to comment on how this show comes across to me as someone who has watched it evolve for years and as someone who likes good music. If you want an opinion from someone who knows everything, click on wikipedia and see if their review of the night works for you cause no one else is gonna get everything right. Sorry. Rant done! Let’s get to the night and see how the
good awful producers at Idol have screwed it up today!
If you didn’t make it out to the last bear-stravaganza in Vancouver, then where the hell were you: Mars?? Bearracada- for the 8 of you still out there who haven’t heard of it yet- is an everyone-allowed, bears MOST assuredly welcome, internationally touring party of dancing and drinking that spreads Canada, the States and Australia and appeals to all types. Most definitely, this is the party to go to if you enjoy the harrier, handsomer, and builkier side of things as bears are the quintessential attendee of this fun night- but, take a look at me and know that even us non-furballs do JUST fine. This February we got a real (juicy) taste of this epic event as they SOLD OUT and packed Club Five Sixty busier than I’ve seen it… well, possibly ever. It was hands down the sexiest night I’ve spent in Vancouver this year as the
boys MEN were out in full force and couldn’t have been in better moods- I was goldilocks in the bears’ den and ALL the beds fit juuuuuust right.
I’ve hands down adored the new branding that Club Five Sixty has offered us this year under the direction of scruffy stud and good friend DJ Adam Dreaddy as he’s attempted to appeal to all factions of gays by pulling in big name DJs, international parties and talent from all walks to ensure that no one group or type of guy is solely pleased. If you’re like me and like to try out different themes, spaces and concepts, you’ll know that every event we gays get facebook tagged into offers a different feel, a different look and more often than not a different type of man to flirt with: I have to say, Bearracuda is without a doubt my bailiwick and I can’t wait. This Saturday, May 5th from 9PM till late at Club Five Sixty (560 Seymour Street) is catering to the bearish brutes in town and pulling out all the stops; you gotta be there.
Female comedies… it kinda makes sense, right?! Oh well: as Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig explode into the 21st century as the it women of comedy, the big and small screen alike have taken notice as funny ladies like Amy Poehler and Christina Applegate star and write their own work and push age-accepted WASP male humour to the side. Realizing that my current top-rated funny shows are strongly led by female characters and writers, I knew it was time to at least dedicate an article to some double XX chromosomal amazing voices you might not have realized exist in this mid-season of TV amazingness. While the aforementioned talents are often associated with more slapstick, contemporary and physical comedy, there’s two shows I’m HUGELY and quickly falling in love with that offer a tremendously witty and cerebral edge to LOLing that you have to hear about: “Veep” and “Girls“.
Less than surprisingly, both the picks are brand new releases from the brill-balls programming of HBO. While “cutting edge” is a bit of a cliche when referring to the network, honestly, there’s no better way to describe both it and these two shows. While “Veep” tends towards the exaggerated absurd, “Girls” utilizes the harshest of reality: they both absolutely succeed at offering a new voice to not just women but the field of comedy itself. Two second synopsis to convince you to click through: “Veep” is a nonpartisan look at the oft-dismissed and seemingly unimportant role of the vice president from the point of view of “Seinfeld’s” Elalin- Julia Louis-Dreyfus- as the “veep” herself; “Girls” is a hispter/bohemian look at a collection of white 20-something girls in NY who demonstrate the plight of women trying to succeed as smart, independent and sexually free in today’s big apple without the shiny veneer of “Sex and the City” to make all their misadventures cute rather than pointedly real and pained.
Well, last night did NOT get a ton of great reviews. Once again relying upon the over-used songbook of Queen (seriously Nigel, how much do they pay you to feature them season after season), Idol fell slightly short this Wednesday with what they offered up. I felt Josh, Hollie and even Jessica missed the mark where they’re usually seen as the “power” voices; instead the evening was owned by Elise and particularly Skylar who blew away the others. Phil looked cute and that’s all I really asked of him. As we get down to the few remaining kids and have seen expected top-contenders like Colton and Jess at the bottom over the last two weeks, it’s honestly anyone’s to win or lose at this point. Honestly, I don’t think Hollie or Josh have a prayer at top billing and doubt Elise is ever going to get the credit she deserves so this writer is predicting a Jess/Phil/Skylar finish as is but who really knows!
Tonight we get a
live tapped performance by Katy Perry doing her single “Part of Me“, cute boy, barely-talented Stefano Langone of last year Idol failure fame doing his: “I’m On a Roll” and a Queen tribute bandkicks off their “Queen Extravaganza” show as they begin their cross-country tour. I’m not interested any of these performances to be honest as tribute bands always fall short of the original for me- give me a remix any day; Katy Perry has notoriously terrible live performances (albeit this was taped last night so hopefully some auto-tune has been applied) and as Stefano was only famous for staying around as long as he did because older gays (like my ex Dan) liked to see him on stage. I just wanna see who’s going home!
Unlike with every other post I’ve done about Idol, I’m going to start off today with an angry rant. I can only assume Nigel Lythgoe was tired of online writers like myself calling him out on his shit and providing readers with a fast source of “just the songs and only the songs” as his team of lawyers have begun sweeping YouTube for open-source clips of the episodes, forcing us to rely nearly exclusively on idol.com (no I will NOT link that) for web-access to the evening’s performances. I’ve just had to spend my time going back to my article from a week ago where all the links have been “removed for copyright product” and put in coding to idol.com’s videos to be able to continue to offer you guys and gals access to the singing (Thanks DAN for letting me know about it!). I’m hoping tonight some brave youtuber will post regardless so I can show you the vids as long as they’ll stay up so you can avoid having to watch this two hour show- which, as we all know is 20 mins of singing and an hour and forty of ads, plugs and Ryan Seacrest vamping. As the show continues to drag in the ratings, it’s clear they’re attempting to jack up Nielsen Ratings and keep generation X, Y and Z offline and keep our TVs on, to ensure Coca Cola gets their 2 billion dollars worth.
Okay, rant over! What’s up tonight? As we saw last week, recently uberly out-and-proud Christian rocker Colton Dixon got surprisingly kicked off due to poor song choice, a clear desire not to be tied down by the Idol label, oh, and more than likely a rigging by the producers of the show who didn’t like his “screw you attitude” to the judges’ critiques last week. We come now to our Top 6 Performers! Tonight will see each kid once again take on two different songs as they’re forced to sing from the songbook of Queen (talented band, yes, but relevant? good god no) and a random choice of their own. I’m getting use to hating Idol and their producers 100% of the time so when they give us even the possibility of hearing something contemporary at least half the time, I’ll take it.
Last night combined old with new and bad with good: mainly the stars of the show shone while the remaining disconnects continued to prove that we haven’t quite got rid of all the lesser singers. Each contestant got to try at the stage twice last night singing songs from before and after the year 2000 and I had a lot more love overall for the more contemporary attempts. While there’s nothing wrong with older songs redone for today’s crowd: remaking classics is just that much harder to do and often doesn’t get the kids to their feet and phones as fast. All in all, it was a pretty good night of songs.
This elimination round, we’re without the save- having been used on Jessica Sanchez the week previous- and anyone can go. While I don’t anywhere close to fully believe that Jess legitimately received the least amount of votes (it was discussed in last week’s comments that Idol can discount votes at their whim if they think they’re not on the up-and-up: ie. “we do whatever the hell we want”), I do think that extra Sanchez fans will be there to support her tonight. Further, Phil Phils will likely soar through on smile alone and Skylar Laineseems untouchable thus far. I’ve gotten bored with Joshua Ledet’s heartstring-pulling performances and have declared it his turn to adios though Hollie Cavanagh and her awkwardness just might be the one to lose it this evening. We’ve got performances by Season 8 winner Kris Allen and LMFAO doin’ their thing, but let’s get to some RESULTS!
First off, I do apologize that the posts this week on my Idol recap are up later than my usual East Coast promptness but a new work sched is slightly throwing me off kilter so instead I’ll try to make up for it with a WHOLE lot more bitchiness. I’m kidding, don’t worry- how could I possibly be a bigger dick to this show’s producers?
Last week we got current music for once and I truly believed it offered the most interesting overall performances that we’ve seen this season. Thankfully, the good idiots at Idol have decided to both hurt and help themselves by combining new and old tonight by having the kids sings two songs each: one hit from post 2000 and one song pre. At this point, we have to take what we can get and have faith the remaining (actually talented) singers will pick from the myriad of classic decade older songs and turn them into something relevant and downloadable. As you likely know, we’re re-visiting the “Top 7” as last week the front-runner, Jessica Sanchez, was bottomed out by the votes only to be saved without second thought by the judges. This week there WILL be someone sent packing and it’s all based on tonight’s performances (well, it’s based on what the producers decide, but it’s fun to pretend that votes matter)- so let’s get to it!
Let’s get it right out of the way: I KNOW THIS ISN’T AU MOMENT NEWS. Yes, this cover band has been around since 2006 and famous since about January of this year, however, I write about them today because I feel the need to take the time to congratulate some true Canadian talent; I have found too many American friends who haven’t heard of them to feel comfortable that they’re completely wide spread; and finally, because I’m going to find and marry “Beard Guy” and thought “Hey, did you catch that article I wrote about you?” would be a great ice breaker when I eventually meet him outside his apartment after stalking him for a few months.
As much as fellow writer Nic has already called me an out-of-touch douche for getting excited by my recent discovery of this troupe and their unique brand of contemp classics covers, I’m gonna be “that guy” and brag about them anyway cause they’re that good. Real quickly: Walk Off the Earth is a Canadian band from Burlington, Ontario with 5 members who play a variety of instruments: Gianni Luminati, Ryan Marshall, Mike Taylor (MY FUTURE HUSBAND aka “Beard Guy/Man”), Joel Cassady, and Sarah Blackwood. Initially I started writing what instruments they play but literally they have dozens in their repertoire so it was a waste of time to narrow it down. Walk Off the Earth became HUGE without any money or advertising, rather on sheer talent and YouTube viewership alone. Originally from their covers of “The Gregory Brothers” they started to be seen but it was definitely their cover of Gyote’s “Somebody That I Use To Know” in which they collectively play a singular guitar simultaneously, which garnered for 80 MILLIONS VIEWS in less than two months at the beginning of the year that made them viral. They have a great following for their original music but what makes me melt is their unique videos and brilliant artistry and undeniable talent. You HAVE to see the vids below!!