It’s that time of year again my friend, the month that holds that oh so daunting day. You know the one I’m taking about, Valentines Day. Just saying it I can hear you cringing from behind your computer screen. Some of you get so overwhelmed and depressed at the thought of all those love notes, chocolates, flowers and countless gifts people will be buying for their intimate partners and loved ones. Being single, one can’t help but wonder “what about me?” You’re now faced with all the things you don’t necessarily want to think about this month…Love…and all things about being single.
But there is hope my friend, yes, even for you. It will take a little bit of work so if that’s not something that interests you I suggest you stop reading now. But, if you think you’re up to the challenge I say let’s get going. Here are a few steps that might help you survive this Love induced season…
A bad attitude isn’t attractive to anyone. When was the last time you met someone and thought to yourself “Wow, this guy has such a bad attitude. I think I would like to get to know him better and maybe date him.” Never. People are more attractive when they have a fun, upbeat and genuine personality. By brooding about being single you’re actually making things worse. The tip I will suggest here for you is to change the way you’re thinking about yourself. Start saying more positive things about yourself and see yourself in a better light. You’re an awesome person, you know that, but do you show that to other people? or do you hide it away? Instead of looking at the negative of being single and focusing on that, look at something positive about yourself. Maybe you’re an amazing cook and that’s something a lot of people would appreciate (me included since I’m not one to often cook). Say to yourself “I’m an awesome cook, anyone would be lucky to have me make them a meal.” Now, don’t go off the radar and be cocky about it, just be genuine in knowing that you’re awesome in this way. Whatever it is, find something to appreciate about yourself.
I know, this one can be confusing but hear me out. What it comes down to is how can you help fill someone else’s cup if your own is running on half empty? This is a confidence and self worth thing. So let me ask you, how do you feel about yourself? Are you genuinely happy most of the time and believe you deserve good things or are you lacking a little and maybe struggling with confidence? My advice is you need to learn how to fill your own cup first before you can fill someone else’s. One easy change you can make is start telling yourself you’re worth it and focus on all your positive aspects. This can be tricky when we’re so use to thinking negatively about ourself. A trick I learnt is to wear a snap band around your wrist. Every time you have a negative thought about yourself, snap it. Then replace that negative thought with a positive one. This will help you create a new cycle of thinking and boost your confidence levels. Pretty soon people will start noticing the way you’re holding yourself and who knows, maybe that person in the office you fancy will start taking notice and ask you on that date you’ve dreamt of a million times.
No one enjoys a Negative Nancy. Misery loves company and it can be easy to get wrapped up with your friends going on a binge of baked goods and negative rants about your “D-bag ex.” In the end it just leaves you feeling like crap because now you also need to add working out to your list of things to do. Instead be the catalyst for a change. Get together with your other single friends like you normally would but instead of ranting about being single and ex’s, talk about your dream partner and the amazing life you want with them. Watching cheesy chick flicks is also good to get the creative juices flowing. This way you can leave the night feeling optimistic and happy about the time you just spent with friends instead of depressed and reaching for Grindr.
So whatever your plans may be to survive this month full of love and lust remember this, you’re worth the wait so start believing it. This month can be whatever you make it to be and you can either enjoy it or hate it. Question is, what one leave you feeling better?
This is a beautiful video by local artist Will Blunderfield and it’s all about our different types of relationships. Enjoy!