Picture this: 9AM Tuesday morning and I’m still sleeping from another late night. The phone rings displaying a number I don’t recognize. First instinct was to not answer it but luckily my second instinct took over. I picked it up and began to talk to Shelley- from Virgin Radio. It literally took me a couple of minutes before I understood the words coming out of her mouth: I was still half-asleep. With working on the site lately, I’ve been receiving random phone calls all the time so I initially thought it was pertaining to that. When I finally realized that it was a contest that my friend Marko told me to enter last week, I immediately woke up as if I’d pounded 5 shots of espresso. Shelly informed me that I would be one of the participants for Tuesday’s Kash Kube showdown! I have no idea what I was thinking when I entered the contest that had me check the 7am contestant slot. Really, Donovan? Really?! As if that was the most convenient time for me.
For the remainder of the day, I listened to the 95.3 Virgin Radio to hear how Monday’s competitions went. The first winner won $1400 then as the day progressed the earnings became smaller ’til they were at $600; I quickly became thankful I had picked the 7am slot! Throughout the day, I discussed the contest with my friends and attempted to devise some sort of winning strategy. One my good friends and fellow Homorazzi cast member, Adam, sent me an email with six YouTube videos and his colourful commentary. I’ve copied and pasted the email below for your reading pleasure.
1. how NOT to do it… this bitch gave up at birth!
2. this has a SLOT to put the money in to hold.. this is a posibility if you wear a hoodie with a pouch.. you could use the pouch to hold the money then grab it into your hands with 3 seconds to go (speaking of.. you either need to see a clock the whole time or have us doing a proper count down with numbers on sheets or something to CONSTANTLY know the exact time left!)
3. around :35 the fat old lady uses the lining of the cube to press the money against to trap it.. that’s a possibility… also, watch the machine blowing by itself around :42 and you’ll note all the money goes to the bottom front before it’s blown back.. MAYBE get on your knees and grab the money as it collects down there by the vent before it’s blown back into the air!
4. MAYBE if you pull your sweater out then collapse to the ground it’ll pull all the bills with it and trap it between the floor and your sweater .. then you can grab it out from being trapped with your hands… in THIS one the vent is in a corner of the cube so make sure to find out where it blows from.. THAT’S where you want to push towards and grab at!
5. now HERE’S an asian pro.. he’s not using any clothes (if you find you can’t this might be the way to go!), he’s doing the whole “one arm holds it, the other hand grabs it”thing and it works pretty well… so this might be your best bet! he LOOKS for the cash as he grabs not just wildly
6. hmmm THIS chubby gal crosses her arms to CATCH the money as it floats up and presses it all against her chest.. probably easier if you aren’t wearing much clothes.. another option!
Fast forward to Tuesday morning at 7AM when Nat and Drew call me up, telling me to come on down to the Pacific Centre. During my on-air interview with Nat and Drew, we discussed my strategy and my thoughts on the upcoming Kash Kube showdown. At one point Nat asked how comfortable I was being enclosed in a confined space. I responded that it posed no problems given the fact I was going for some hard cash. She teased that I was probably used to it from my days collecting money from women during my stripper days (totally not true). We then shared a few laughs. At the end of our interview, Nat and Drew invited any listeners to come on down and challenge me for the money. When they signed off they referred to me as Donovan: a former male exotic dancer. LMAO. Why do I always sound like a hooker during interviews? Again, I will use the early hour as why i was completely incoherent.
While waiting for my competitor to show up at Pacific Centre outside the corner of Howe & West Georgia, a crowd began to gather wondering what was going on. My friends and fellow cast members Brian, Topher, Saleem and Patrick came by to support me which meant a lot since it was an early start for most of us. As the clock winded down, the organizers were worried that my competitor wouldn’t show. In the nick of time, the challenger came. It was the first time that it was a mano-a-mano showdown. Since I was the contestant and not the challenger, I chose to go after my challenger. Apparently they should have two of these chambers but one got stuck at customs: thank you border services! Allowing him to go first totally gave me an advantage as I saw what he did and what worked. After his 20 seconds were done- which BTW was 30 seconds during yesterday’s competitions- I put on my goggles and walked into the booth.
As they counted down , I prepared myself to immediately bend down once the time started and grab the cash on the ground- a tactic I stole from my competitor. As the time went on, the remainder of the monopoly-sized money stuck to the top of the chamber. When time was up, I walked up and realized I had a good shot as my hands were completely full. My friends even said that they thought I had it in the bag. After the organizers tabulated the bills, we did another on-air interview before they revealed the results… Drumroll please. My challenger ended up grabbing $375 while I grabbed $435. WooHoo!!! I won $810 in cash. How lucky am I? Prior to the showdown, my competitor and I made a side deal that the winner pockets 75% while the loser grabs the remaining 25%. When the producers were grabbing my info to write the cheque, they were shocked that we were both nice enough to do this. The money didn’t really matter to me as much as WINNING. Yes, I am uber competitive!
Before signing off, I’d like to thank the following people:
I’m trying to get a copy of my on-air interview and when I do, I’ll post that up here immediately.