I am a pussy.

Every morning I get on my bus at 8:38. Every morning I see him: my bus crush.

Our enduring relationship has been off and on roughly since the summer. He’s really quite quiet… considering we haven’t said a word to one another. The whole situation is quite sad- I do realize that. In my mind, I can conjure up some semi-witty ice-breaker, but instead I fiddle with my iPhone or send a text to my friend saying “I’m pussing out again this morning.”

I think a part of the problem is an issue that we all face. I am only about 50% sure he’s gay. It’s easier in the straight world to spark random conversations as it’s assumed everyone is straight until crossed legs or lingering stares prove otherwise. Man meets woman; man woos woman; the hard thing hits the soft thing; repeat. I’ve seen straight porn before, so I know these things.

Maybe part of the problem is that I am confusing subtle flirtation with harmless random glances. Maybe he’s looking back because I am staring like a creeper. Maybe it’s just a coincidence that he chooses to sit next to me, or decides to enter the bus last- as I do the same.

Maybe the whole problem lies with the fact that if I talked to him and fall flat on my face, I have to see him every morning on the bus for however long we live next door to one another (oh yeah.. he lives next door). In the morning when I am that hazed state between awake and asleep, it’s nice to chillout without the need for forced small talk… is what I tell myself.

Or…. maybe I am just a pussy.

  • Tommy D

    Get him to say something with a couple of S’s in it…you’ll be able to find out!

  • jonny staub

    Oh Sal! Well, I say just do it. Tell him how you feel. If it doesn’t work out, then take my advice and leave earlier. Catch the 8:18am bus and show up to school/work with some additonal time on your hands. You’ll have more time to get things done AND then you never have to see him again. Bite the bullet (not the cock) and fess up. What have you got to lose, when you can only GAIN your backbone!

  • i’ve been in exactly the same boat — we all have (the elevator at work, the mailbox room in our building, the receptionist at the doctor’s office). the having “no fear” thing is scary and natural, but i say take the initiative and strike up a conversation as human beings first, gay human beings second. you never know, he might be thinking exactly the same thing about you.

  • Now you HAVE to say something so you can let us know the outcome!! YOU CAN DO IT SALEEM!

  • Dan

    I would want to play the other guy in the movie.

  • In the movies or music videos this kind of scenario always works out. I agree with Jonny and you should bite the bullet and go up and talk to him BUT before you do make sure you have some great music on your iphone playing so it can be part of the soundtrack should we ever recreate this for a movie of the week.

  • Mike

    Yup… Pussy.

  • just take your shirt off one day. if he stares at you then you’ll know.

    it’s what i do!

  • Chase

    25 years ago, on my way to Sheridan College every day I saw this guy at the bus stop…every frackin morning. For 2 years I saw him and he saw me. He made my heart pound. I became as dumb as a potatoe when I stood next to him. So thats 25 years of me being a pussy potatoe. Do u wanna think about this for 25 years like me. Ask him something. Directions? Where’s the closest Starbucks (Ha…you’ll probably pass 8)…the Weather is a classic opener…now now, not lame at all…a classic. “Dude, whats the cologne you have on, I really like it”…won’t get you a punch in the nose.
    “Dude, did u see Idol last night?”…iffy
    “Shit Dude, I lost my pen, do u have one?”…have the classified section in your hand…he’ll ask for sure…tewll him you’re looking for a puppy. Dogs ALWAYs work for gay, hetero, whatever.
    Do it.

  • rbo

    What Chase said.
    .. but to test the waters, you could always follow Jonny’s advise of taking an earlier bus – but only do it once or twice… so then when you’re back on the regular bus you can see his reaction / maybe he’ll be the one to ask where you were those days.

    .. or you could just wait outside his place one morning to walk him to the stop? 😉

  • rbo

    (proofreading? who does that… – i didn’t mean jonny’s advise in the ‘that didn’t work out so i’m taking an earlier bus from now on’ sense, but rather in the ‘i’m taking an earlier bus to give us an excuse to start talking’ sense.)

  • bruin

    what are the results of this as this was written earlier in the year. are you still seeing him? since you saw him every single day on the bus, just strike up small talk like hows it going etc or make useless comments like wow it’s really cold huh. if he’s interested he’ll properly respond. or you can play dumb and ask him very dumb questions like oh what’s today’s date or do you know where i can get this? and then one q will lead to another w a response and then get your opinion on his response!!!