Ever go on vacation and look at the local “talent” and think to yourself- there’s a whole lot of ugly over here. You’re not the only one. The folks over at totalbeauty.com have searched high and low to find out which city had the fugliest men. That’s right, they judged the book by it’s cover and nothing else- God love them. Since totalbeauty.com has a primarily strong female voice, their sampling of men probably consisted of mostly straighties. Keeping that in mind, if the straight men aren’t anything to fawn over, just imagine how some of the homos look like.

Besides aesthetics, the site took into account education statistics, number of fitness centers, smoking rates, obesity and other key variables. Trust me, I guarantee it was purely scientific and on the up and up. WINK. I’m sure after reading this countdown, you all will be eager to book your next flight to these not-so-hot destinations. Care for a road trip anyone? Do you live in any of this beauty black holes?

SOURCE: TotalBeauty.com

8. Houston, Texas

7. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The City of Brotherly Love doesn’t love its brothers so much — “Travel + Leisure” magazine’s survey of tourists and locals for America’s Favorite Cities put it dead-last in the “Attractive People” category. Men’s Health ranked it no. 2 in worst teeth. The relatively high number of obese citizens doesn’t help matters either.

6. Detroit, Michigan
“Rock City” definitely does not refer to the abs in this Midwestern city — Detroit has one of the highest obesity rates in the country. A low percentage of men with bachelor’s degrees and a low high school graduation rate put these guys high on the dull scale, too.

5. Mobile, Alabma and Huntington, West Virginia (tie)
The men of Mobile and Huntington have it all — terrible teeth, according to this worst-teeth cities list, a high rate of unhealthy, inactive and obese men and a paltry number of gyms.

4. Greensboro, North Carolina
There’s not a whole lotta lovin’ going on in Greensboro, according to QualityHealth.com’s survey of sexually active cities. Bad teeth and a one of the highest rates of obesity in the country might have something to do with it.

3. Miami, Florida
You’re thinking, ‘Seriously? Miami?’ And we’re saying: yup. If for no other reason than a whopping 21 percent of men 25 and up didn’t make it past 9th grade, the highest rate in the cities we studied. Oh, and did we mention gnarly teeth? And believe it or not, more than 27 percent of Miamians don’t exercise regularly. Sure, they’re not the fattest or unhealthiest in the country, but given the year-round gorgeous weather and huge number of gyms, you’d think these guys would be a little less … lazy.

2. Hagerstown, Maryland
Less than 10 percent of the men in Hub City hold a bachelor’s degree. They’re not spending their spare time in gyms, either — nearly 30 percent don’t exercise regularly, 30 percent are obese, and an off-the-charts number of Hagerstownians smoke, compared to the rest of the country.

1. El Paso, Texas
We’re not looking for Stephen Hawking level brain-age — just a good, solid education. But nearly 15 percent of the dudes in this Lone Star city have less than a 9th grade education. The city also suffers from a notably high rate of obesity, 32 percent are in below average health and 30 percent do not exercise regularly, which is probably why there are so few gyms in town. There is such a thing as too much Tex-Mex.

Okay, you have to admit some of their comments were hilarious. PS. there’s always more room for Tex-Mex. Yummy.

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