OK. I spend a fair amount of time at the gym, so I’ve had a lot of experience observing people there. Here are a few things I wish I never had to experience.
10. Old men with excessive body hair that walk around naked in the locker room. I get that it’s a change room with showers, but when you reach that level of hairiness and sagging, it’s best to show a little bit of discretion.
9. Talking on cell phones. Honestly, if you have something so important that needs to be discussed, you shouldn’t be at the gym in the first place.
8. Wearing flip flops or NO SHOES! I was at the gym the other day and this guy was walking around with nothing but socks on. I wanted to drop a dumbbell on his foot.
7. Wearing jeans while working out. If you can afford a gym membership, then you can afford a pair of shorts.
6. Lifting excessive amounts of weight, with poor form, to try and impress people. No one’s really impressed – they are just laughing to themselves at how stupid you look.
5. Grunting and moaning like you are having an orgasm. I don’t really need to hear this unless you’re exceptionally hot.
4. Leaving sweat on the gym equipment. The gym is NOT a good place to swap bodily fluids of any kind.
3. People who fill up 2L or larger bottles at the water fountain. Is it really that difficult for you to walk to the washroom and fill it up at a tap? No one has time to stand there for five minutes as you fill it up at a trickle’s pace.
2. People who put dumbbells back in the wrong spot. The big numbers like 30lbs, 40lbs, and 50lbs seem to me to be pretty easy to follow. Are people that bad at reading?
1. Wearing excessively tight clothing. I’m all for displaying “assets” at the gym, but honestly – spandex booty shorts on a guy is a little over the top. I was at the gym the other day and someone was wearing a neon spandex tank top with floral print spandex booty shorts – his ass was hanging out! Not what I need to see first thing in the morning.