Meet The Real Housewives of Miami

Bravo’s highly successful franchise is heading off to a brand new city, looking for the same drama viewers have come to expect from middle-aged women. Meet the six hot mamas of “The Real Housewives of Miami“. The newest installment of the Housewives franchise promises to add a unique flavor as the show goes inside this cultural hot spot. According to the press release, the series will follow six of Miami’s most connected and influential women as they live their lives to the fullest in this sunny city where the party never stops.   

Personally, I don’t care about all the mumbo jumbo and just want confirmation that these ladies will bring on the cray cray and ridiculous catfights. The ladies of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” certainly set the bar high for a new Housewives series launch. Those women brought it and then some. Mind you, we could’ve watched them all shop for 13 episodes and it would’ve been more fun than that dreckitude called “The Real Housewives of D.C.“. Unfortunately for the women of MIA, they’re going to be compared to Lisa Vanderpump, Camille Grammer, Kyle Richards and company. The one thing I’m certain these ladies can do better than the BH ladies is correctly pronounce “salsa”. Seriously Kim Richards, WTF?!?!?

You can watch all the Miami drama unfold when the newest addition to the family premieres on Tuesday, Feb. 22 on Bravo. Fun fact. Originally the show was a stand alone show titled “Miami Social Club“, but for one reason or another, it became the seventh installment of the Housewives franchise. Check out each lady’s bios below and see what first impression they give off.

Adriana DeMoura-Sidi

This Brazilian bombshell is a full-time mom and a highly respected art curator who is always on the go. Coming off a traumatic divorce, Adriana wasted no time meeting her new fiancée, Fredric. Still her relationship is always on the rocks, as Adrianna’s flirtatious ways and fiery personality seem to get her in trouble and leave her peers gossiping.

First Impression: Oooh, a flirty gorgeous Brazilian divorcee who’s already engaged. Sounds like trouble great TV. Plus she’s always the subject of the gossip. Could she be the one that everyone hates? On a side note, she really is gorgeous. Unless she’s a heinous beyotch, I can see myself on Team Adriana.

Alexia Echevarria

This “Cuban Barbie” holds the pulse of Miami’s Latin culture. As the executive editor of Venue Magazine, Alexia spotlights the latest fashion trends as well as up-and -coming Latin film and TV stars. Alexia loves to spend time at her Miami Beach home with her husband, Herman, and admits she is at times more of an older sister than a disciplinarian to her two sons from a previous marriage.

First Impression: Hopefully as the editor of a magazine, she isn’t crazy like that Devorah chic from Social Magazine. I wonder what trouble she gets into by being an older sister to her sons. She’s “cool mom” not your average mom, like Amy Poehler. BTW, who calls themselves Cuban Barbie. Can someone say plastic?

Cristy Rice

As a Miami native who is beyond proud of her roots, Cristy’s sassy Latina flair is evident in everything she does. Recently divorced from NBA superstar Glen Rice, Cristy has entered a new phase of her life, being single and living out loud. When she’s not out dancing at night or dealing with relationship drama, Cristy’s life is jam-packed with being a single mom to her three children and running her own clothing store.

First Impression: A recent NBA divorcee who owns her own clothing store. Sounds like Khloe Kardashian in ten years. “Sassy Latina flair”? Is that a euphemism for hot-tempered beyotch. I surely hope so. PS. Those heels are sick. Cristy is sure one sexy MILF.

Larsa Pippen

This wife of NBA superstar Scottie Pippen shares the unofficial title of “Hottest NBA Wife” with her friend Cristy Rice. A snarky Lebanese beauty, Larsa boasts that she’s successful at everything she does, including playing wife and mother to her four young kids. When she’s not busy turning her three little boys into star athletes, shopping for her one-year-old princess, or firing nannies, Larsa is happy to spend a little time on herself.

First Impression: Ummm, I already don’t like her. Sounds like one mean egotistical delusional woman. She sounds like Camille Grammer on speed. For her bio to consist of anecdotes like “firing nannies” and “snarky Lebanese beauty”, this could be the one, bloggers and the media hate. PS. honey, you’re not all that.

Lea Black

Deeply loved, occasionally uncompromising, but universally respected, this Texas native is leaving an indelible mark on Miami. Married to one of the top criminal defense attorneys in the country, Roy Black, and raising their 9-year-old son, Lea has a reputation as a community leader. She raised money for President Barack Obama during his 2008 presidential campaign as well as many other local Florida politicians, and spends a majority of her time working towards the success of her own beloved charity.

First Impression: Oh look, someone brought their grandma. I’m such a bitch. In all honesty, she sounds like the Dina Manzo / Adrienne Maloof of the bunch. In other words, the mature one with little or no drama. She’s just there to play the matriarch of the bunch and give awkward facial expressions.

Marysol Patton

Miami native Marysol Patton is one of Miami’s most sought-after women both socially and professionally. Being divorced for 10 years has allowed her to put all her energy into creating and running one of the premiere public relations firms in town, the Patton Group. Armed with her bedazzled iPhone and a hot female staff, this PR maven definitely knows how to throw a party for her A-list clients. When Marysol’s not working, she finds time to hang with her mother, Elsa, a character in her own right. Elsa considers herself a “seer,” not a psychic and she’s a hot commodity amongst A-listers looking for spiritual guidance.

First impression: I kinda zoned out halfway through her bio. She sounds way to put together to be on a Housewives show. Being in PR, I really hope she comes off well on the show. If she’s a polarizing figure, she runs the risk of alienating a lot of her A-list clientele. Love that she hangs out with her mom, who’s described as “a character in her own right”. Sounds juicy, doesn’t it?

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So what do you think of the “Real Housewives of Miami” cast? Sounds promising. I predict, it’ll fall in line somewhere in between Beverly Hills and DC. Unless one of the wives actually sleeps with another wife’s husband, Beverly Hills will claim the best first season of the franchise with Atlanta a close second.

Unfortunately, long-rumored cast member Elaine Lancaster wasn’t included in the cast. There were reports the drag queen was part of the official cast. It looks like she’ll be regulated to just play the token gay a la Dwight Eubanks (ATL), Paul Wharton (DC) or Cedric Martinez (BH).

  • Susie Q.

    Just found this website – LMAO :()!

  • ro

    cannot wait.

  • Adam

    worst.housewives.ever.
    dono, you and have have mini-commiserated since this travesty started… ugh, they are SO boring, have ZERO drama and talk about how everyone wants to be them constantly in front of the camera… at least DC had the grand jury thing at the end of the season to look forward to. So far, the craziest moment has been Adriana “taking the dare to walk the runway after the show was over”… you’re kidding me… i’m giving this show ONE more episode for someone to have an implant explosion or find their b-ballin’ husband in bed with his teammate or i’m givin’ up.