January is here and you know what that means. It’s time for ABC’s guilty pleasure dating show to return. That’s right, I’m talking about The Bachelor. Yup, I’m a glutton for punishment and enjoy this often cringe-worthy reality show. For me, it’s not so much about being a hopeless romantic and hoping true love is found. But rather, it’s the “journey” that’s exciting to watch. I’m not talking about the over-the-top dates either, but mostly the seemingly sane women go crazy. What possesses a woman to cry their eyes out over a guy they’ve known for just a couple of days and in some instances a couple of hours, is beyond me. It’s so silly, yet so riveting to watch.
While most of the guys aren’t worth shedding a tear for, there are a few that are definitely worth getting involved in a catfight over. I’ve gone through all sixteen seasons (can you believe there have been that many) and ranked the Top 10 Hottest Bachelors to ever give out roses on the ABC show. I will admit, I haven’t watched all the seasons but watched my fair share. Check out my updated rankings below and see if you agree with my choices. You might be surprised on a couple of omissions. See where new Bachelor Sean Lowe compares with the rest.
Winner: Sarah Stone
Who doesn’t love a hot doctor with his very own stethoscope? Judging by the pic above, this doctor doesn’t seem to mind being the patient every now and then. Oh, the fantasies I can whip up. Stork was able to parlay his Bachelor notoriety into a regular daytime gig. He’s one of the panelists for the syndicated daytime show, Doctors. I never watched his season so I have no idea if he was a douche or good guy. But if Carrie Underwood dated him, I’m sure he’s the latter. That said, Carrie did date NFL quarterback Tony Romo and he’s kind of a major douche.
Winner: Helene Eksterowicz
After missing the ball with the first ever Bachelor (Alex Michel), the producers did a solid when they cast Aaron Buerge. He was hunky, blond and everything that Michel wasn’t. In other words, he was a guy worth fighting for. Like many of the Bachelors, he started off great and picked the girl I was rooting for. But in the end, he broke her heart and was blinded by his new found stardom. Helene was stunning and such a caring woman. Definitely Aaron’s loss.
Winner: Tessa Horst
Titled The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman this season featured a real life “Iron Man”. Sorry Robert Downey Jr.!!! Baldwin was not only an US Naval Officer (love a man in uniform) but also an accomplished athlete. He competes regularly in the brutal Ironman competitions. I get pooped just doing a casual bike ride, let alone a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride and a marathon on top of that. No wonder he has a smoking body. Andy must have some serious stamina *wink*
Season: 11 & 15
Winner: No One for Season 11, Emily Maynard for 15
Speaking of buff bods. Brad Womack might be one of the most hated Bachelors of all-time, but that’s not going to stop me from drooling over this manly man. I never watched his inaugural season, but caught his second attempt at love. He didn’t seem nearly the douche that I had read about, but I’m sure he learned a lot from his first time around. Oh well, I expect to see Womack on the 22nd installment of the series or an upcoming Bachelor Pad season. Eventually, he’ll have to get married. He might as well do it on the show. PS. He’s also has an identical brother. YUMMMMM.
Winner: Courtney Robertson
Ben isn’t the most conventionally good-looking guy to become the Bachelor, but I just adore him. Whether it’s his wispy hair, or tall stature, his juicy bubble butt or easy-going vibe, he’s a keeper. Just go ask Jennifer Love Hewitt. After he was dumped on air, the actress professed her crush for him and went out on a date with Flajnik. Nothing came out of it, but it just shows how much people fell for Flajnik. To boot, he has his own vineyard so an unlimited supply of vino comes along with him. Can’t argue with that logic. NOTE: In my original rankings, Ben was ranked No. 4. He dropped a couple places for thinking with his little head instead of his big head when he chose Courtney. Horny bugger.
Winner: Melissa Rycroft first but then dumped her on air and picked Molly Malaney.
Mesnick was chosen to be the Bachelor after being dumped on DeAnna Pappas’ season. With his burly chest, boyish smile and adorable son, he was the epitome of a DILF. Everyone loved him until his season ended. He initially chose Melissa but dumped her on live television to be with runner-up Molly Malaney. Sure it was supremely heartless to dump Rycroft in front of cameras, but I’m sure producers made him do it. In the end, it worked out for everyone. Melissa competed on DWTS and is now a regular fixture on television. For his part, Mesnick married Malaney and they are one of two couples to marry as a result of dating on the show- Trista and Ryan being the other.
Winner: Jen Schefft
Firestone’s placing might shock most of you out there. He’s not the best-looking nor has the hottest body, but I admit I crushed on him hardcore during his season. He was a breath of fresh air after the first two Bachelors and I loved his non-cocky attitude. He eventually walked down the aisle, just not with Jen Schefft. The two apparently are still friends though. Awwwww, what a decent guy.
Emily Maynard’s loss is our gain. We get another season of Sean showing that adorable smile and chiseled torso of his. SIGH. Nowadays, I’m attracted more to brunettes than blonds, but I’ll make an exception for Lowe. He’s so darn likeable. Hopefully, he doesn’t do anything this season to make him less attractive. With that rockin’ body, I’m willing to overlook a lot of things. For every ab, he’s allowed a faux pas.
Winner: Shayne Lamas
I never watched Matt’s season titled The Bachelor: London Calling, but I’m a sucker for a British bloke. There’s just something about that accent that gets me going. Love the shaved head and bearded look he’s been sporting lately. Very WOOF-licious. If that wasn’t enough to turn your crank, Grant actually might play for our team. The winner of his season, Shayne Lamas, daughter of Lorenzo Lamas, sorta “outed” him. If he is indeed gay, I beg the producers to bring him back like Brad Womack, but this time he’s courted by 25 hot gay guys. I’m sure that season would have the most “dramatic rose ceremonies” ever. For once, I’d believe host Chris Harrison’s claims to that effect.
Winner: Jessica Bowlin
I admit, I picked Palmer as my No. 1 choice based completely on looks. I DID watch his season, but can’t remember a thing about it. Correction, I remember that crazy Trish chick but nothing about Jesse. Still, IMHO, he’s the hottest Bachelor ever. Definitely worth balling your eyes out in the back of the limo, if you ask me. I’d love to participate in a little on-and-off the field huddle action with this slab of beef.
There you have my picks for the Top 10 Hottest Bachelors on the ABC dating show. Are you surprised by any of my omissions, especially Jake Pavelka? Sure, he’s got abs to die for, but he’s tarnished by Vienna and his fame-whorish ways. I just can’t get past that. Be sure to vote in the poll above and give your thoughts on my rankings. Better yet, share with me on who you think is the grossest Bachelor ever in the comments section below.