There’s nothing better than having a really good gay friend. Although I have been out for almost eight years, it is only in the last few that I’ve really found what it is to connect with another gay guy in a non-sexual way. Below is my list of best things I’ve learned through my gay friendships:

The Mark – Gossip is bad…but oh so good

We spend our days talking to other people and it’s just natural that we end up talking about others at points. Gay guys are great at getting people to talk to them – people love us and want to tell us their secrets. Maybe not always such a good idea…we’re sharers. When I was younger my friend Mark and I thrived on knowing all the good gossip. Since we’ve grown up I think we’re both quite a bit more careful with the information people share with us – but it’s still great to be in the know.

The Brandon – Don’t crush on your friends – they might take the same position as you

When you’re new to being a gay it’s easy to fall for the first hot guy that you get along with. It’s a rookie mistake. It’s important to know the difference between who’s a friend and who’s your next boyfriend. It’s a lesson that I learned the hard way – when I first went to University my first gay friend was hot and I thought for sure that it was going somewhere. Turned out that not only were we just friend material but we also preferred the same position in sex…and let’s be honest, we’re not lesbians – things need to fit.

The Zach – Celebrating musicals is cool and sometimes it’s okay to be a “slut”

Many young gays decided when they come out to be one of two things – a ho or the good boy. One of the first things I decided when I came out was that I wasn’t going to be a stereotypical gay slut. Um – that worked for a few years but learning the difference between being sexually empowered, learning about sex and enjoying it is different than being a ho. I think that we can gain confidence from experiencing things with different men. I feel more equipped to bring into my next relationship my likes and dislikes, as well as my comfort level with things because I’ve slept around a bit…as for the musicals – that’s pretty self explanatory, they’re just great!

The Nic – Friendship that touches your soul doesn’t care about your sexuality

Once you start hanging around with a gay crew it can become pretty easy for your sexuality to dominate the conversations. Sometimes your connection with people comes down only to the fact that you both like sucking dick. The real test of a good gay friendship is if it moves past all those things. Being challenged on your views, learning from someone, learning with someone…those are the important things. At the end of the day if you can count on someone to be there for you, to love you for who you are even if you aren’t perfect and who will give you a hug no matter what – then you know you’ve found a truly good friend.

If you’ve just come out of the closest, or even if you’ve been out for awhile and don’t have many gay friends, I encourage you to find yourself a few good gays. The understanding that you get from sharing something that others don’t go through is great and can really help you feel more comfortable with yourself.

Submitted by: Allan W.

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