To Ink Or Not To Ink?


EVERYONE HAS TATTOOS NOWADAYS! –  and for the longest time, I’ve wanted to get more. The last time I got inked was back in 2000 and I was living/working in Calgary. I know it’s not exactly a new concept, but there is something so appealing about having art on your body that will last a lifetime. This also happens to be my DILEMMA. I can’t for the life of me choose something “new” that I think will be cool 20-30 years from now…. I don’t have kids yet, so I’m not getting my daughters name (“Calliope”), and I sure as hell am not getting “Mom” (even though I love my Mom). I just haven’t been inspired by something so badass and sexy that I believe elevates my body….what am I left to do?


Recently, my best friend Zack told me about an article he read that talked about how it’s rebellious NOT to get a tattoo nowadays, because everyone has one. I’m pretty sure my parents could care less, nor would my bf if I rocked some new ink, so that’s not really my issue….again, I just can’t think of something that would be cool enough to settle on. I just don’t wanna regret it….I already know some people who have made hasty tattoo decisions (Sharmane in High School, Farshad’s ex girlfriend’s name on his neck)…..but I’ll leave those for another day.

That’s why you have to be careful! A mistake like that will stay longer than a bad beacon/fico score!

With that in mind, here are some tattoo’s I found that I’m almost 100% positive will cause regret…


Um, I think if your man unwrapped you like a sexy Christmas present, you might scare him with your coy and semi fat Japanese girl.


Imagine walking down the isle ladies, with a low cut, backless wedding dress. Mom would be proud. Hope you’re husband has the key to your clavicle hole!


Is this that scene from Aliens? Or “Shot through the heart and you’re to blame”? Bon Jovi is sooooo 1988 and you’ve never had a girlfriend.


“Hi my name is Darren, I like walks around cemeteries….”


Did your little brother doodle this on his grade 4 spiral notebook? It’s on your for life!


Was this done in prison?




I guess this covers up your lack of abs class on Wednesdays?


Oh I get it! It’s a dolphin, taking a hit from a bong, high, in a ratty leather recliner….huh?


I’m not even going to go there. Really. I’m not touching that. So disturbing that I just knew I had to share it with you!


I guess this is an alternative to a prosthetic. “No I didn’t lose my hand, I just have one GIGANTIC finger”. Ah, and getting an ODB tattoo…speaking of Celebs


Never a good idea. Britney bald? Jack Black? Pee Wee? Even the Patrick Swayze (Dan) half man/half centaur!


Ouch. Always check the tattoo artist’s previous work. Otherwise you’re loved one will turn out looking like she’s missing a few chromosomes. Her teeth look black!


Corporate sponsorship anyone?


“Oma, It’d like you to meet Kodie. Kodie, this is Oma….you know, the one that sent us those sugar cookies?”

  • bruin

    omggggg the pictures are….i dont even know what to say. yeah… the one with the snake around the neck. is that ink or a real one? ehh…

    tattoos are sexy if done right, if not, just plain trashy. but then again no ink at all could be sexy if you polish that bday suit!

  • Braden

    I prefer ink. Especially images that are shaded as opposed to drawn with lines. I really think that what someone has tattooed on them speaks so loud to describe them. Even the, “oh its old and im embarrassed” wont save you. Dumbass? Yeah bodies are sexy without, but sexier with some beautiful scars. Add a couple well thought out piercings and my toes are curling. Check out the Dutchman in b-town or either Teresa or Steve at electroladylux on commercial for some real vancouver artists.

  • Harlequin

    I’m totally the guy that refuses to get one because everyone has one (NOT because I see a needle and pee myself a little. :P). Those tattoos are so wrong, but it brings me back to this….!


  • In my current medical state I’m not allowed to talk. Or for that matter laugh. But I can’t stop looking at the pic of the girl who (sadly) passed, and the HORRIBLE ink job. Who the hell butchered it like that? It’s not even her nose! Shame! I would be soooo pissed….

  • Brett

    I think tattoos are generally a bad idea. I understand that most people get things that are special/meaningful/important to them…but that being said, if it’s that important – won’t you just remember? Why do you need it on you? Like guys with the maple leaf – are they worried they are going to forget which country they live in?

    I just think it’s something most people go on to regret – especially when that tattoo starts to sag along with the rest of you. Yuck. Not for me.

  • I love tattoos. I think they’re sexy. I think they can be great conversation pieces. However, sometimes people cross the line and go fugly. Whatever. I’m that guy who sees a hot guy with a beautiful sleeve and stares.

    I have three that can only be seen when at the beach or wearing a tank… and I put them in places where people don’t usually get fat lol. Tattoos are a commitment… I thought long and hard about each one and I will get them touched up when the time comes.

  • Dan

    Jonny – this is one of the funniest things I have EVER read! Thank you for not putting my grade-10-maple-leaf tattoo on this list!

  • JBird

    Don’t forget all the Twilight tattoos. Terrifying.

  • I think they’re TOTALLY hot but would never haha.. nothing i like enough in the word to have it on me “for life”… hell, i don’t even think i can deal with MYSELF for that long 😛
    nice pic descriptions jonny 😉

  • DanceFreak

    The only pic i’m totally into is the very first.
    He is HAWT AS HELL!!!!!!

  • Kodie

    Omg Oma you’re a beaut!

  • Well I definitely am a fan of tattoos. Not ALL tattoos, but tasteful ones that are personally meaningful to you, the person who is stuck with it for the rest of their life. To be honest, while I love it when someone comments on / compliments one of my four tattoos- it’s not necessary. I didn’t get them for other people, I got them for myself. Some are more meaningful than others, but if nothing else they all serve as very clear reminders of different periods in my life that have helped shape me into who I am today.

    That said, there is definitely no shortage of nasty/gross tattoos out there. Some/most of these pictures are totally heinous and you really just have to wonder what in the hell these people were thinking… but, if it means something to them- all you can fault them for is having bad taste. 😛