tattoos-naked-sexy-man

EVERYONE HAS TATTOOS NOWADAYS! -  and for the longest time, I’ve wanted to get more. The last time I got inked was back in 2000 and I was living/working in Calgary. I know it’s not exactly a new concept, but there is something so appealing about having art on your body that will last a lifetime. This also happens to be my DILEMMA. I can’t for the life of me choose something “new” that I think will be cool 20-30 years from now…. I don’t have kids yet, so I’m not getting my daughters name (“Calliope”), and I sure as hell am not getting “Mom” (even though I love my Mom). I just haven’t been inspired by something so badass and sexy that I believe elevates my body….what am I left to do?

what-arm

Recently, my best friend Zack told me about an article he read that talked about how it’s rebellious NOT to get a tattoo nowadays, because everyone has one. I’m pretty sure my parents could care less, nor would my bf if I rocked some new ink, so that’s not really my issue….again, I just can’t think of something that would be cool enough to settle on. I just don’t wanna regret it….I already know some people who have made hasty tattoo decisions (Sharmane in High School, Farshad’s ex girlfriend’s name on his neck)…..but I’ll leave those for another day.

That’s why you have to be careful! A mistake like that will stay longer than a bad beacon/fico score!

With that in mind, here are some tattoo’s I found that I’m almost 100% positive will cause regret…

coy-tattoo

Um, I think if your man unwrapped you like a sexy Christmas present, you might scare him with your coy and semi fat Japanese girl.

keyhole-tattoo

Imagine walking down the isle ladies, with a low cut, backless wedding dress. Mom would be proud. Hope you’re husband has the key to your clavicle hole!

bleeding-heart-tattoo

Is this that scene from Aliens? Or “Shot through the heart and you’re to blame”? Bon Jovi is sooooo 1988 and you’ve never had a girlfriend.

skull-tattoo-face

“Hi my name is Darren, I like walks around cemeteries….”

cupcake-toilet-tattoo

Did your little brother doodle this on his grade 4 spiral notebook? It’s on your for life!

tattoo-cougar-teeth

Was this done in prison?

peel-eat-repeat-banana-tattoo

Why?

cow-hole-tattoo

I guess this covers up your lack of abs class on Wednesdays?

dolphin-tattoo

Oh I get it! It’s a dolphin, taking a hit from a bong, high, in a ratty leather recliner….huh?

penis-tattoo

I’m not even going to go there. Really. I’m not touching that. So disturbing that I just knew I had to share it with you!

arm-nail-tattoo

I guess this is an alternative to a prosthetic. “No I didn’t lose my hand, I just have one GIGANTIC finger”. Ah, and getting an ODB tattoo…speaking of Celebs

celebrity-tattoos

Never a good idea. Britney bald? Jack Black? Pee Wee? Even the Patrick Swayze (Dan) half man/half centaur!

in-loving-memory-tattoo

Ouch. Always check the tattoo artist’s previous work. Otherwise you’re loved one will turn out looking like she’s missing a few chromosomes. Her teeth look black!

just-do-it-nike-tattoo

Corporate sponsorship anyone?

old-lady-tattoos-bald

“Oma, It’d like you to meet Kodie. Kodie, this is Oma….you know, the one that sent us those sugar cookies?”