Take Back Our Streets
Filed under: Behind The Cast, Politics & Issues, Tommy D
Author: Tommy D
Date: Mar 17, 2009
Hey Everyone,
I had written a post right before this one, and it was pretty intense. I was writing it in pure anger, and I let it sit for a while and then I deleted it. It was a good vent, but I don’t think I wanted that post to represent my true feelings about this situation.
The situation I’m referring to is one which we have been keeping up to date with here at Homorazzi. Last week, someone had been sucker punched in the head at the Fountainhead, and was taken to hospital in critical condition. He then fell into a coma, and is not expected to recover.
Before I found out he lost his life, my head was spinning into another dimension. I just kept remembering other events this past year, Jordan Smith, Chad Wilkinson the countless other times. Then I kept remember when I was managing at The Majestic/Pulse Nightclub that the police would come and let me know that there has to now be a police presence on the street, and now this.
What sparked my anger was the quote the newspaper printed. The perp punched the man because “he’s a fag. He deserved it, he touched me.” Well, apparently he deserved to die for touching someone. I want to yell. I want to scream. I want to punch things. I can’t believe what’s happening to our street, slowly but surely Davie Street is becoming unsafe, and it’s terrifying.
What I don’t understand, is why do these people come to Davie Street in the first place? What are they expecting to find there? Davie Street from Burrard to Denman is the Gay Village, has been forever. So why are they coming there in the first place? Why are they always so shocked to find gay people there? Why, oh why, if you’re straight would you go into a GAY establishment and not expect to possibly be hit on, or checked out, and looked at by a gay person? Even if it doesn’t happen, you have to be READY for it to happen, and if you find yourself weirded out by that, don’t bother walking through the door.
Loading ...I find us to be a very tolerant people, I really do. I mean, I’ll use myself as an example. I have a short temper, no patience, I can be a real dick, and I judge (I AM gay for crying out loud). I have also been attacked MANY times by straight drunk girls coming up to me “OH MY GOD! I LOVE GAY GUYS! WHY ARE YOU GAY? YOU’RE SO CUTE”. This, to me, is the equivalent of a straight guy getting hit on by a gay man, but I would never punch those girls in the face…no matter how much I want to just smack them. (There’s nothing worse than drunken straight girls…NOTHING!). I would never do that because I am a DECENT HUMAN BEING! Not to mention I would be thrown in jail faster than you can blink an eye.
I don’t know where I’m going with this. I sort just wanted to post about what I’m feeling in a grown up sort of way instead of just typing in caps lock about how much I hate “those straights”.
What does this mean for us? Do we hide? Do we move…I say NO! I think this is an opportunity to take back our streets, take back our venues. Our spaces are becoming more and more straight, and we are losing our entertainment spaces. PLEASE support gay businesses. As an event producer, I have been VERY fortunate to have been supported by everyone, and I am SO HAPPY for that, but we need to do more. I’m putting out a call to everyone; take back what is rightfully ours! Show solidarity; show that we will not stand for this kind of behavior in our own spaces.
Anyway…that’s all I got for right now. I want to send out lots of love to the victim’s family.
UPDATE: Mar 18 1:oopm
Today, I received an email from a family friend, stating that he is in a coma.
The newspaper is saying that he is in a coma as well and will not recover from massive brain injuries.
Whatever the case is, it’s still unnacceptable and we will not stand for this.
Our thoughts and prayers are with the family.
Related Stories:
Mike in Van
March 17th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Oh no, he did pass?
How sad a night out with friends and a beer result in death.
This is so sad!
When are we all going to have enough of this shit?
Colby
March 17th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Well said, Tommy. I couldn’t agree more. I don’t hang out in the Granville Entertainment District unless I want be surrounded by partying straight people; why on earth would straight people hang out in the Gay Village unless they wanted to be with gay people? You’re prejudiced? Well, that’s not cool, but if that’s how you are, then please keep it at home. Don’t bring it out on display and don’t go to places that will push those bigoted buttons of yours!
Hollywood
March 17th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
I’m glad you are writing about this. First I want to scream to everyone out there “Wake Up”! As a minority you will never get rights unless you fight for them. We have seen in history from around the world every minority get treated like a 2nd class citizen. This just doesn’t stop over night; change and tolerance don’t just happen. They are demanded and then received. I don’t mean to come off aggressive but you show people how to treat you! When you witness something not right… say something, do something. It is the only way change will come.
Redd
March 17th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I was an indirect recipient of gay bashing a few years back and it is sad that these straights that come into the gay area and have the nerve to do shit like that. I mean come on…if you’re that homophobic wouldn’t you just stay away from the gay areas? Like Colby said…you don’t see many of us gays frolicking Granville street on a busy night. I take the side streets when I go home from the club to avoid drunken straight guys filled with testosterone looking for a fight. Sad sad people.
on the real
March 17th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
No one deserves to die, but you are asking for it
Mike in Van
March 17th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
Where is the report as abusive button?
on the real is a complete fucktard!
Colby
March 17th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
I’m going to reserve judgment. I’m tempted to respond, but why don’t we let “on the real” explain what exactly he meant by that…
Just my opnion - a little long...
March 17th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
I’ve just heard the news about what happened and am yet again deeply saddened and dismayed that this sort of thing happens.
Unfortunately the general reaction is one of, “Oh, that’s so sad” or “I don’t believe it” – and within a few days it is forgotten. What we really should be thinking is “I won’t stand for it” and “Why does this happen, How and I going to change it?”
What we need to ask ourselves, gay or straight, is “Is this the world I am content living in?” Too many people live from fear. And fear is ignorance, its misunderstanding and it’s the creator of prejudice and hate.
Fear suffocates us and it’s something that everyone seems happy to accept. The media is telling us we aren’t pretty enough, we need to be better, what we are just won’t do. So we listen and try to be more desirable, for fear that no body will like us.
Society persuades us to live a certain way. And like being pulled in a current, even if you reject the status quo, many of us find ourselves falling in line… working jobs we dislike, wanting more from ourselves but not knowing how to change and get it.
But change is so scary, and concerning the masses in general, it doesn’t look like anybody really gives a damn anymore.
Somebody just lost a life. To somebody, that person was once a baby they cradled… that person once worked hard on their homework, that person once had a first kiss and felt that searing and uplifting emotion of being in love, that person once got out of bed and went to work and worried about paying bills like the rest of us.
And I read and re-read that paragraph and think what makes that person a target to be attacked or beaten down by others when it applies to all of us? Gay or Straight.
As a straight girl who has many gay friends, I personally feel more comfortable within that community than surrounded by people with the same sexual orientation as myself.
I feel unsafe going out in my own community. I stay away from straight clubs for fear of the same neanderthal, ignorant men and women that cause these nuisances, problems and devastating events within the gay community.
I’ve had straight men molest me in clubs and have been attacked before, because apparently if I go out to dance, I am free bait for getting groped, grabbed and even fingered. Apparently I am asking for it. I’ve asked myself countless times whether I was ‘asking for it’. Was it the way I dressed? When I said “No I’m not interested”, to someone making a move on me, was I being interpreted as being a lead on or cock tease?
I have seen the look in some drunken guys face, one who doesn’t take the rejection well… does that mean I deserve to be punched?
I can’t begin to understand what it must feel like to be a minority. Of witnessing this disgusting behavior in what is meant to be a ‘safe’ area, somewhere to relax and unwind.
How many times does it need to be said… if you don’t want to see that, then don’t go there. If you don’t agree with the way somebody lives their life, don’t seek it out!
I was at the O late January dancing with my gay male friends, a straight couple were on the podium and seemingly making a show of getting it on. They migrated to the dance floor, the grinding, groping and slippery fingers becoming more than a nuisance as they bumped into dancers, got in people’s way and really, acted with no respect as I caught an eyeful of what should be done behind a closed door. Yet my friends were polite, a couple of the guys rolled their eyes, but mostly we made comments between us and left it at that.
I can see the gay entertainment spaces dwindle, and what is unfair is the acceptance, or rather resignation, that the gay community has of straight people coming into their clubs and behaving how they do, but put that in reverse… well. It wouldn’t happen – because the uproar or a gay couple kissing or holding hands on Granville street results in bashing. There would be people arguing for the gay couple to go back to their ‘Village’, that the straight club doesn’t want to see that, to go to their own clubs…
I am disgusted that places need to be viewed as ‘safe’. The underlying meaning interpreted as behaving true to yourself elsewhere is unsafe.
Nobody should have to apologize, hide or change who they really are – because none of us should ever have to explain ourselves to anybody else.
I understand there are very ignorant people out there in the world. Whether they are the product of their upbringing or the world we live in, I cannot make excuses for the lack of humanity now prevalent in the 21st Century. How is it we’ve come so far as a species, but seem to be losing the very things that make us human? The capability of great kindness, sacrifice, love and understanding?
We vote in a black president, cementing in history a great leap in racial discrimination – yet the simple, and significant act of two people joining hands in marriage is taken away from a population – not even recognized in the majority of counties in the world.
Why is it a right bestowed by a government, when it should be a choice between two individuals, no matter what the sex?
My response is this:
We need to stop the deterioration of respect between strangers. Of manners, open mindedness and understanding. Gay or straight, nobody is better than another and nobody deserves to be discriminated against on their own territory, or anywhere.
Concerning gay bashings – Those within the straight population with a problem need to be educated and take responsibility for their underlying fears and insecurities – if they are to judge and be affected in such a way by complete strangers, then deal with it and get a soul.
Colin
March 17th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Why didn’t any of his friends kick this guys ass right back? Problem solved.
Ann
March 17th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Since I was 21 I lived just a block off of Davie st on Hornby. My friends are 90 percent gay and it always shocks and appals me when they recieve treatment which is so hideous and cruel at the hands of the straight population.
I suppose its why I revel in my friends saying I’m a gay man with a great rack. To me its a huge compliment and I would be deeply insulted to be lumped in with the straight population and specifically with those who cannot wrap their heads around the fact that gay or straight, we’re all human. Sexual orientation is not an exceptable reason for destroying someone’s night, and possibly somone’s life.
I want to commend Tommy and everyone else who is working to hard to take back the streets and the village. I’ve since moved from Halifax and I deeply miss the warmth and individuality that Davie st in Vancouver has always displayed. For me, its been a place to grow, and become who I am. To see my friends succeed at their dreams (in and out of high heels) and grow into some of the most incredible people I have ever known. To think that one of them might lose everything because of someone else’s intolerance is terrifying to me and something I deeply hope will never happen.
Be safe, be vibrant and love yourselves. In the infamous words of Miss RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else”
Its something the straight community would do well to remember. Educate themselves and remember that we all bleed and cry, laugh and love and that they would never tolerate being treated the way some of the gay community have.
Much love
Jonny
March 18th, 2009 at 12:07 am
Oh Tommy…what true emotion you have. Thanks for posting this and thanks for keeping it real. So sad to hear about Mr. Dowie. While we may feel scared, we must also remember to not bow our heads in shame, or change the way we love. Stand up to hate, and show the kindness that truly lies within you.
Mike
March 18th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
We had a problem here in Seattle with straights coming to gay bars to hit on the straight girls. Guess there are a few smart straight guys out there that figured out the straight girls go to gay bars. Anyways, it started to become a problem and a few bars put up big posters stating this was a gay bar and didn’t tolerate any kind of hate. Since then I haven’t seen alot of problems. Don’t let the straight man get you down! Fight back, never run from your home!
on the real
March 18th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
“Why didn’t any of his friends kick this guys ass right back?”
what are you going to do slap them? lol
and your asking for it by being flammers, what people do in the privacy of there own homes is fine dont shove it in the publics face like that. If we want equality then act like a normal guy not some fuckin prissy little bitch with an accent
Hitler
March 18th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
On the real, lets get together and we can have this privacy you talk about. I’ll kick your ignorant ass then bend you over like the stupid bitch you really are!
Hitler?
March 19th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
“Hitler?” Kind of an odd screen name for someone championing tolerance. Anyways. As much as this assault was disgusting and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law, it does not constitute a hate crime as such. It seems to me that it was just a case of a straight guy freaking out in reaction to some unsolicited advances. How he did not know the Fountain Head was gay establishment is beyond me. Also, in speaking of intolerance it’s important to remember that homosexuals can be just as guilty as the rest. My brother is gay, and some of the things that have come out of his friend’s mouths have left me scratching my head and wondering whether homosexuals are tolerant only when it pertains to them and their interests. The ironic slogan of this blog, “Where gay’s judge everything” seems to indicate a level of intolerance as well. Is it not homosexuals themselves who argue that they are unfairly judged by society on account of their lifestyle? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hater. I just think you guys can’t be champions of equality only when it’s convenient. Like where are the lesbians on this blog? Last time I checked, the term gay was not gender specific. Just some thought boys :-)
Darren Murray
March 19th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Dear “on the real”:
YOU say that you dont understand why people have to be flaming?! I my self am not overtly gay in my mannerisms by any means, however i let people be who they are, and especially in the places that are safe to do so (being the gay village where we do not judge based on sexuality , race, gender, or any of the other human attributes). “what is normal?” this is YOUR take on normality. Please realize that you have your opinion but who are you to force that down some one else’ throat ? Just as i dont have the right to, you with my beliefs. Everyone in this world is here for a reason.. as long as you are not injuring yourself or others then you have every right to be who you are. but no one has the right to abuse another human being.. and that is what this is it is abuse! ..
I agree that we have to stand up and voice again that we are a community of love, acceptance and understanding of all people, but we will not be badgered into silence and back into the dark. We are here! we are Queer! and we are just as much a part of humanity as everyone else! so treat us that way!
I give silence for the family of this human being whose life was cut short due to ignorance!
Thank you,
Darren Murray
Jesse B
March 21st, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Not to take away from the seriousness, but you should find new hand models for your stock photography.
Kiepie
March 22nd, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Tommy? Really? “There’s nothing worse than drunken straight girls”??!! Nothing?
My heart bleeds for the young man in a coma, I’m actively fighting for homosexual rights, I’m proud and amazed by both inspiring comments from ‘Ann’ and ‘Just my opnion – a little long…’ …and when I have a few drinks on Davie with my best friends I’m the worst thing?!!
I think it takes a certain type of sheltered female to attack a gay man like that.
BUT, very interesting point that I’d never considered. Do most gay guys see it as the equiv to a gay man hitting on a straight man?
Just wanted to say this is as serious for me, drunk or sober, as it for most of the people commenting here. Intolerence needs to stop now… fight for it!! Furthermore I don’t think gays should have to be segrigated to the village forever. We live in Vancouver dammit! If you can’t tolerate the diversity we live in, get the hell out.
Wade
March 22nd, 2009 at 2:40 pm
If the public was or had been accepting to gay rights then maybe people wouldn’t feel that it’s being “thrown out there.” Either way, as stated above already, Davie street has always been classified as a gay community; why then do people who are at all homophobic bother stepping into that atmosphere? I would also like to point out that the “accent” isn’t something we work on. Personally it’s something I’ve had from the day I could talk (ask my mother).
In case it hasn’t already been noticed, both gay and straight men come in many different varieties. We don’t go targeting a group of “straight” guys to “attack” because they wear certain things or act a certain way, so why target someone who fits this “flammer” stereotype? No, instead we mind our own business, so why can’t other people do the same? Just because someone is expressing who they are, doesn’t give excuse to verbally or physically abuse them in any situation!
What each individual defines as “normal” is different in one way or another. Isn’t the definition of “normal” to just conform to a standard or what’s expected? Standards and people’s expectations change and differ all the time. Either the word “normal” needs a new definition or people who beg for gay people to be “normal” need to step out of their shells and face the reality that we aren’t going to change for them.
Not long ago various ethnicities weren’t considered “normal.” Not only have these people overcome such obstacles without having to change who they are, they have embraced it and so has our society. We finally came to the realization that having coloured skin is “normal.” The mentally and physically disordered have also overcome the same feat. Yet, despite it being “normal” for these categories of people to be a part of our everyday life, they still face some hardships, criticism and stereotypes.
It’s going to be a long road for the gay community as well to finally weave into the forever changing norms of society. Being caught somewhere in the middle makes it easier, but still difficult in the long run. Recognition of these recent hardships will hopefully increase soon, before more innocent people are harmed or even lost. It’s just upsetting how a place of security is transforming into an area of anxiety and torment.
backcountry
March 24th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I was inspired by watching ‘Milk’. We should all start carrying whistles again….when you hear a whistle in the gay village everyone runs towards it and we all kick some ass together!!!!
james.e.j
March 30th, 2009 at 8:41 am
I am an instructor at John Casablancas and one of my students actually happens to be the adult daughter of the victim and question. Yes he had a daughter and then came out of the closet.
They are going through some tough times but she had told me that he had opened his eyes and was responding to pressure applied to his feet and hands and she had told me this on March 24th so, in response to the dead comment, no I dont think he’s passed away.