Okay, so I know I said I wasn’t going to recap the auditions rounds but I just can’t help it! It feels like forever since we’ve had the slightest bit of SYTYCD in our lives, and I find myself practically running home after work on Wednesday’s to throw on the eastern feed of the show. Season nine of So You Think You Can Dance has potential to be the biggest show down to date for Contemporary dancers, and a good-luck-chuck scenario if you come from any other dance style background!

Round three of the auditions brought the crew to Atlanta, the starting point for season eight winner, Melanie! Once again the lovely and adorable Cat Deeley (in a ridiculous fake-fir coat) gave us the low down of who would be joining Skeletor and Screamin’ MM on the panel. This week we have the legendary Debbie Allen to actually bring some credibility to the stage. As long as she hasn’t taken her crazy pills!

Will Atlanta bring the same talent and charm that Melanie brought last year? Buckle up, as I’m in a feisty mood tonight and in NO mood for any of Skeletor’s antics.

The first audition of the night was a never-been-kissed, I-can-fart-with-my-neck Contemporary dancer. Quel surprise, she breezed right through to Vegas. A note to the production team on this show, I don’t care how many times Skeletor demands to be shown while the dancers are auditioning, STICK TO THE ACTUAL DANCING. No one watching cares about the perverted face a sixty-something year old man is making. I promise. Ask anyone.

Up next was a trio of Hip Hoppers belonging to the group, Dragon House. They apparently live with 1000s of people in a frat style house filled with dancers. Finally, something other than Contemporary (honestly, I can’t believe I’m saying this as I type it). Up first was Boris Penton tackling his audition to a beautiful piano piece. Brilliant choice. That’s two for two standing ovations to start the show. The producer’s then decided to make a terrible decision and now show the other two dancers from this trio that came together, and dropped in a male Contemporary dancer into the mix as if that’s actually how the flow of the day went. Idiots.

Joshua Alexander was that Contemporary dancer. Surprise, surprise, he was effing amazing. The song choice was perfect, his body was amazing, and I would love to have that boys smile. He killed it! Follow that up with three ridiculously sad stories complimented by three really strong contestants, to make it six-for-six out of the gate! I really hope they stick to showing the brilliant dancers all the way through, even though I know they won’t and we’re about to get a slew of terrible routines.

The next 20 some odd minutes were dedicated to a man named Tim, who first performed a Karate-inspired routine dedicated to Selena Gomez (whaaaaa?), followed up with a pseudo-ballet routine, which had an amazing amount of character, and zero true dance skill. What the heck, just put him through to Vegas!

Up next was a cute Hip Hop beat boy, Jackson, and naturally Skeletor jumped all over taking advantage of this boy to get himself more air time. I. Wanted. To. Scream. Jackson mentioned a new line dance called the Wobble. Cue the camera cutting to Nigel and Debbie dancing together. I have never been happier than my ‘thirty-second-forward’ button on my PVR remote.

Things took a turn from bad to worse with belly dancer, Janelle. I wish I actually knew what this girl looked like when she danced, but no one watching the show could new for sure as Nigel started making rude comments before she even started, and then we were subjected to stare at his mug making old-man-orgasm-faces almost the ENTIRE TIME. Booty shake. Skeletor’s face. Scarf twirl. Skeletor’s face. Hair flip. Skeletor’s pervert grin. ENOUGH! She eventually went on to choreography and then Vegas (surprise surprise).

Up next, Danielle Dominguez, another Contemporary dancer. Before she even took to the stage, Skeletor made a ridiculous comment insinuating that Mary and Debbie should take up a diet, similar to that of Danielle. After that hot mess fizzled out with a nonsense apology, we FINALLY got to see the contest dance. It was probably one of the most interesting pieces of the night thus far; however, I couldn’t get past the way she used her mouth and let it hang open for a lot of the piece. Gross.

The only good part of that whole segment was Skeletor dropping the hint that MARK would be returning as one of the previous SYTYCD alumni to dance with the newbies this season! Lady Gaga must be taking a break from touring if he’s coming back to the show! EEKS!

We finally get back to the other two members from Dragon House, because I’m sure they were made to wait hours after their friend went. First up was Andre, followed by Cyrus. I’ve gotta say it, there was something ridiculously charming about Andre that forced me to develop an instant crush on him! Would Cyrus have the skills to make it three-for-three for the Dragon House crew?

OF COURSE! Hot dang I want to hang out in this group’s dance pad, and STAT! All three of them were amazing. I was actually really stoked that they showed an amazing amount of Cyrus’ routine, as it felt like it was never going to end and I was actually happy about it! ONE, TWO, THREE, THEY ARE ALL GOING TO VEGAS!

Up next were Courtney Kirby and her grandmother (Skeletor’s female twin), dancing, if you could guess it, Contemporary. This girl was GOOD. I love me anyone who can do an aerial front walk over as part of a dancer routine, and she nailed that sh*t. The unnecessary montage went on for much longer than it needed to; however, thankfully she made it through to Vegas so it wasn’t all for nothing.

Following her was THE best contestant of the day, my new BF of the season, country-boy-redneck-hip hop dancer, Asher Walker from Virginia. His boots with plaid shirt and cardigan. Holy eff bomb, and he wants to be a back up dancer for JUSTIN BIEBER. Love x1000. I could watch this boy dance all day long. I re-watched this number three times back-to-back and each time my heart grew a little warmer. Sorry Ali, he’s my TV boy of the summer crush! I’ll get a least another chance as my boy made it through to Vegas!! EEKS!

Up next was George Lawrence II. I don’t even know what to say about this boy. I think Debbie summed it up well by stating that some people are born to dance, and George L. II is one of them. This man’s split leap was one of the most ridiculous I have seen, ever on this show, and I don’t toss that comment out lightly. Debbie also said, “This child is fierce.” Ha! I couldn’t agree with her more.

After George, we were treated to another segment of great dancers who all sailed straight through to Las Vegas, including Abigail Ruz, Calvin Turner Jr., and Aubrey Klinger. Sadly the only segment of bad dancers of the night followed this, which was the BEST decision the producers have made this season.

Brittany Ortner was up next, who had a ridiculously long segment involving chickens. I fast forwarded seven minutes and got to her dancing. Yeah, she was good. Did she deserve the amount of airtime she got? No. I was happy that Mary called her out for not being as good as Melanie from last year. Finally, some truth from the judging panel! The panel sent her to choreography before eventually making it through to Vegas.

The last contestants of the night were twin brothers, Dion and Damon, who tried out last year, and suffered from public backlash after seemingly ripping off their choreography from another duo group, from a routine posted on YouTube. DAMN! Even better, the boys called out the SYTYCD team for cutting the segment where they explained to Cat that they took the inspiration FROM THE GROUP’S VIDEO. Holy shit, that is GOLDEN. Hey Skeletor, thanks for giving two dancers a bad wrap for editing out their speech where they credit another group. IDIOT! Thankfully they got the chance to fix the issue, apologize, and show America what they can really bring to the dance floor. Both boys made it through to the choreography round, but sadly only Damon made it through to Vegas.

Atlanta definitely brought a different mix of talent compared to Dallas and NYC, with the majority of Vegas-bound contestants being Contemporary dancers, with a strong front on the Hip Hop side and one belly dancer. Sadly, another city with no ballroom contestants. I wish Nigel would take the hint from the lack of contestants and dial the routines in the genre WAY BACK to match what’s actually happening on the stage and what these performers are eventually going to go on and do in their career. The Paso Doble isn’t one of them!

There ya have it folks, another audition round down and we’re one step closer to Las Vegas week and the live performance shows! Next week the troop heads to Salt Lake City where we’ll finally see some ballroom! On a random last note, BRING BACK NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! That’s all.