So Dan is STILL bizzay. Therefore you are stuck with the world’s best Ginger (technically strawberry blonde) to bring you the results. Last night, Marko and Melanie continued to impress, Mitchell and Caitlynn soared, and Jordan and Tadd threw Nigel’s attempts to sabotage them in his face. On the flip side, Sasha and Alexander made a hip hop mess and Ashley and Chris struggled with a mild salsa. Who is still in the running towards becoming America’s Favourite Dancer? Who will be eliminated tonight? When will Tyrant Banks come on SYTYCD useless guest judge?

First up tonight was a kicking Bollywood routine to Kata Kata from the Raavan soundtrack. Never heard of it, but the boys sure looked homolicious in their glittering colour of the rainbow outfits. Shhh… don’t tell Skeletor that the rainbow is a world-renowned symbol for gay pride. He might try and pretend that gays don’t rule the dance world. Who run the world? Gays! Even Beyonce knows that. Anyways, back to the show. The girls all looked gorge in their outfits. It was a great routine… everything we love about Bollywood. It was choreographed by Nakul Dev Mahajan.

Thankfully Carmen Electra is missing tonight… so no more deep comments about “feeling it”. After chatting with the judges for a while we finally get to some results. Caitlynn and Mitchell are first up on stage with Melanie and Marko. Oh shit! Those were the best dances of the night! They better all be safe! Oh thank god. They’re all safe. Next up are Ashley and Chris, Tadd and Jordan, and Clarice and Jess. No surprises here. The first couple in danger is Ashley and Chris. They’re joined by Jordan and Tadd. Clarice and Jess are safe. Damn! I wish it was the other way around. The last two couples on stage are Ryan and Ricky and Sasha and Alexander. WOW. Sasha and Alexander are SAFE! What??? Ryan and Ricky are in danger. Isn’t this Ryan’s third time in the bottom? She’s doomed. America is not in love with her the way the producers are.

Before we get to the solos, we get treated to a gorgeous routine by the Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet company. It was no Centre Stage, but there was some seriously awesome funk and man thigh. Holy smokes. I need a ballet boyfriend.

As for the solos… Ashley was ok. It was better than last week’s but nothing outstanding. Chris was amazing again. So many good tricks… but were they all the same? Jordan’s was crazy sexy and full of crotch splitting flexibility. I think she even shaBlammed. I love it. Tadd was cute and fierce all at the same time. Ryan was beautiful and dramatic. I can see why Mia loves her… but she needs to connect with America. Ricky was sublime. It was a wonderful performance. I’m picking Ashley and Chris to go home.


Florence and the Machine – “Cosmic Love”

While we wait for the results, we get a performance of Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine. Love them! Florence’s voice is killer. I need to download a hot remix of this song.

When all is said and done, the judges (ahem Nigel and the producers) decided to let Ashley and Chris go. Death by salsa! Now, here are your Top 12 dancers:

Thanks Dan for letting me pinch hit for you. It was fun!