You know the drill. I’m subbing in for Dan who is as bizzay as a drag queen the morning of a gay pride parade. Gurl has got to get her weave all done, get some pleather boots all zipped up, tie up her corset, and cake on that make up. Last night, the top ten started off the all-star portion of the show with mixed results. The girls definitely out danced the boys and drooled ever so slightly over Pasha. Two dancers are going home. Who will it be? Who is still in the running towards becoming America’s favorite dancer?

First up tonight was a rather uninspiring Broadway number by the top 10 to On Broadway. Surprisingly, it wasn’t a Tyce Diorio piece, but some other guy I didn’t catch the name of. What’s up with Broadway? I love musicals. I love a good song and dance… but the Broadway on this show consistently sucks. It’s almost as bad as Krump. Hopefully we get a better number at some point in the next hour.

Cat tells us how the eliminations will go down and it’s a bit different from year’s past. The bottom two guys and the bottom two girls will be revealed, but the JUDGES will decide who goes home. BULLSHIT. I hate Nigel and his constant manipulations. Just let the voters decide! That is unless he plans on saving Melanie from an early departure. THAT would be a travesty.

First up to get their results are Melanie, Tadd and Mitchell. My money is on Mitchell ending up in the bottom. Yep. No surprise. He’s in danger. Melanie and Tadd are both safe. Next on stage are Marko, Sasha, and Clarice. Of the group, I think Marko is most at risk. Sasha should be the safe bet to be safe. Turns out it’s Marko and Sasha who are safe. Clarice is in danger. Her awesome Bollywood wasn’t enough.

After a break, Cat tells who the all-stars will be for next week. I LOVE that they’re switching it up. We get to see more than just Twitch and Comfort and Comfort and Twitch. Ivan’s back! So are Anya, Pasha, and Jaime (from the humming bird dance). Lauren (not last year’s winner, but the one that pops up in Glee dance numbers all the time) and Neil (love Neil) are back too. Ade and the other Lauren round out the group. I like it. But please… where is Sara the B-Girl! Oh shit. Cat just said Lady GaGa is going to be a judge next week. OMFG.

The last four on stage to get their results are Caitlynn, Jordan, Ricky, and Jess. Please let it be Jess in the bottom! NOOOOOO! Shit. Jess is safe. Ricky’s in danger. Awful. Just awful. As for the two girls, I have no idea. They were both great last night. It’s Jordan. She’s in the bottom group. Fair enough I guess. Caitlynn was outstanding in that Tango.

As for the solos… Clarice had some funky moves and gravity defying splits, Mitchell was passionate and fluid, Jordan was stunning and looked very mature, Ricky was amazing. He delivered the best solo of the night. By far. If I were to pick, it would be Clarice and Mitchell going home tonight.

While we wait for the results, we get a performance from Blush and Snoop Dogg. Umm… who the hell are these girls? I just googled. Apparently they are the first “pan-Asian” super girl group. Riiight. It was all kind of awkward to me… but at least the one girl sang live.

When it came time to deliver the results, Nigel was actually very nice. He praised them all and told them to look around at all the All-Stars who have returned who didn’t win. This is not the end for any of them; it’s just that two of them are off the show. With that being said, they decided to let Mitchell and Clarice go.

Thanks Dan for letting me fill in again. I cannot WAIT to see the cray cray GAGA brings next week!