Survivor Samoa Episode 5: “We Have To Eat Gross Stuff From The Ocean”

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Wow, the producers are really working overtime during last week’s recap to try convince us that Shambo is the next one to go. We all know what this means? Shambo is safe which means Galu most likely wins immunity. Burnett and his minions love to drop red herrings throughout each episode to try to throw the casual viewer off. Those silly little Jedi mind tricks never work on Survivor experts like us, right Rich? I will say this though, after watching last night’s episode, I have a gut feeling on who’ll be left standing at the final tribal council. Keep reading this post and my predictions will be revealed at the end.

Coming off their first date with Jeff Probst, Galu heads back to camp relieved that Sassy Yazzy is no longer there to annoy the crap out of them. (PS. I would be too.) That is, everyone but Shambo. Being the only Galu member not to vote Yasmin out, Shambo feels even more disconnected from her tribe than ever. Looks like our favorite “business in the front, party in the back” Survivor will have to do some major scheming to keep herself in the game. The next morning, we see a very sexy and scruffy Erik being toss around like a salad while bathing himself in the raging ocean. Too bad the waves weren’t strong enough to wipe those shorts off of him. Erik comments that the ocean is a real bitch. Cue foreshadowing.

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Click on the picture above to view the Survivor:Samoa Season 19 Gallery.

REWARD CHALLENGE
After the commercial break, the two tribes receive tree mail cryptically giving hints for their upcoming reward challenge. Looks like it’s going to be a nasty food challenge. A good five minutes is used up to inform us that Ashley is a very experimental eater and will try anything once. Again, we all know where this is going. Short haired dumb girl will choke and lose the challenge for her tribe.

Since Galu is up a few tribe members, Chief Russell S. chooses Kelly, Laura and my former crush John to sit out. First team to score five points wins the protein heavy reward- wieners and steak, oh my. So how does one score a point for their team? The castaways must drink a “Samoan Smoothie” with ingredients determined by dropping a ball on a spinning wheel. Wherever the balls land, that’s what they’ll have to chug down- blended of course. As Jeff eloquently put it, “If you can get the bad stuff down, you get the good stuff.”

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Here’s what the survivors had to endure:

  • Round 1: Shambo & Jaison: Giant clam and Jeff’s choice (octopus, sea snail and noni juice with some fresh seaweed as a garnish). Both finish
  • Round 2: Russell S & Russell H: Jelly fish and jelly fish mixed with some milk. Can we say gross. Again both finish.
  • Round 3: Brett & Mick: Giant clam and sea cucumber mixed in with some cow juice. Mick finishes first and Brett closely behind. Speaking of these two. Throughout their round, my gaydar went crazy into high gear. I have a gut feeling Brett is a “sister” and has the hots for Mick. Just look at him gaze at Mick in the picture above. To boot, Brett stated “milk does a body good” and then the camera focused on Mick. I think Mick is my NEW survivor boyfriend this season- Have you seen his cut body? … now there’s a Samoan Smoothie!
  • Round 4: Monica & Liz: Sea urchin & sea urchin. After a few gagging moments, Liz finishes it after Monica quickly downed hers.
  • Round 5: Dave & Ashley: Sea slug guts with some H20 and a side of seaweed. Do I even have to say what happened? Miss experimental eater up chucks her smoothie and loses the challenge for her tribe. Quelle surprise. If this bitch isn’t going home after this, she never will.

POST REWARD
Once again, Galu wins reward and Russell S. has to immediately choose a member of his tribe to miss the feast and spend time with Foa Foa. You would think the most logical and fair thing to do would be to pick one of his tribemates who sat out during the challenge. You thought wrong, he picks Shambo to punish her for losing the chickens last episode. Obviously, Shams doesn’t feel great about this and feels even more dejected. Stupid move, chief. Stupid move. Speaking of Galu’s chief, I’m so over him and his ritual condescending pow wows post-challenges. Every time he makes a decision, he informs his tribe the thought process behind it. Later in the episode, Dave and him have an argument about fire starting. After a few moments, Dave decides to apologize and stick his hand out for a peace offering. What does Galu’s chief do? He accepts his apology but doesn’t shake his hand and leaves Dave hanging. Ouch. What a douche!!

Back at Foa Foa, the tribe consoles Shambo and gives her a group hug to make her feel better. In turn, Shams shares her immunity idol clue with them. At this point, Liz feels pretty certain that Russell H has the idol. Silly girl decides to confront him about it. You know how this went over- NOT GOOD. As expected, Russell becomes defensive and goes on the attack and warns Liz she’s on thin ice. Bye Liz, it was nice knowing ya.

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TROPICAL STORM
If I didn’t know better, I would think Mark Burnett had the power to create the punishing weather. Both tribes are in complete hell trying to weather the storm. Some members of Galu begin to regret they chose “comfort” over “function” during a previous reward challenge. In order to fetch tree mail, Dave has to build a makeshift bridge just to reach it. The battering torrential rains turns everyone’s hands and feet into white wrinkled gross hot messes (even Jaison who’s hands looked like they belong to a 80-year old white man. It was nasty.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
Galu sits out Dave, Shambo and Erik for this challenge. The tribes must choose one man and one woman to bear the weight of their baskets. Meanwhile, the other tribe try to chuck coconuts into their opponent’s basket. Galu’s John and Erik are the clear stars of this challenge as they manage to score two or three coconuts at a time. While Foa Foa’s Ashley doesn’t manage to score even one throughout the challenge. Russell H goes out first leaving his tribemate, Liz, to fend for herself. She holds up remarkably well and even receives a “this girl is insane” comment from the other tribe. Eventually, she lets go, leaving Galu with another immunity win.

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POST-IMMUNITY
Normally after losing a challenge, people go off within small groups and talk strategy trying to figure out who to vote off. Since there was Tropical Mark Burnett brewing, Foa Foa stay huddled underneath their shelter to keep warm and dry. They ask each other if anyone wants to volunteer to leave tonight. Obviously, no one volunteers. They just agree to pack and vote individually at tribal.

TRIBAL COUNCIL
Trust seems to be the theme of tonight’s tribal council. Who trusts whom the most and why? Ashley gets a lot of airtime during this segment which means bye bye bitch. Thankfully, the editing turns out to be true and Ash is sent packing even by her two closest allies, Russell H and Natalie. Before leaving tribal, Jeff once again spews his Survivorisms to Foa Foa. This time he states, “Well, you’re down to 5 members. The question is, can you dig deep enough to do what needs to be done to turn this game around?” Wise words again, wise words.

Oh, before leaving this week, I have to mention another Brett gaydar moment for me. Pre-immunity challenge, we see Brett feeding his banana to Erik. Even though they were miserable as sh*t, the scene was kinda hot especially with Erik all bonded up trying to keep warm.

Is it me or is this season going at a crawl’s pace? It feels like I’ve been watching this season for months. When you have 20 castaways to begin with and one tribe keeps habitually losing, you barely get to know people on the other tribe. Seriously, do we know anything about Kelly, Brett and Laura (pictured below). I mean besides the occasional “gaydar fantasy” I have about Brett, I know nada about them.

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FINAL TWO or THREE PREDICTION
As promised, here is my final prediction. If they have a final two this season, I think Natalie and Mick. If they have a final three then Natalie, Mick and Russell H. Say what?!?!? I have three Foa Foa members in the final tribal council. Yuppers, something tells me that Galu is going to self-cannibalize themselves come merge time. It’s happened before, just ask JT from Survivor: Brazilian Highlands.