Survivor Samoa Episode 3: “This Might Be The Worst Group In History”

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Is me or are Mark Burnett and Co. working overtime to stuff Russell H. down our throats as an uber villain? Call me crazy, but I don’t really think he’s earned the moniker of “the biggest villain ever” that they’ve promised him to be. In my opinion, he’s just playing the game and I don’t find any of his actions that evil as of yet, though I reserve the right to change my mind in a couple of weeks.

It’s Day 7, on the gorgeous Samoan tropical island, and Foa Foa is now down to just seven after voting out Betsy and Marisa, then losing Mike due to a heart condition. Before even competing in the next challenge, members of the Foa Foa tribe are already having separate discussions on who to vote out. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you’re going to tribal council, then you’re probably going to tribal council. Russell H confesses to the camera that “this might be the worst group in history”. I tend to agree.

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Click on the picture above to view the Survivor:Samoa Season 19 Gallery.

Life at the two camps couldn’t be anymore different. At Foa Foa, you’ve got scheming (Russell throwing Ashley under the bus), alpha-male jostling (Ben proving his camping skills) and overall dumbness (Ashley & Natalie, I’m talking to you). While at Galu, you’ve got people (Erik, Brett, Laura and Kelly) doing yoga and finding their inner chi. Chi? Is that the correct usage? I wouldn’t know since I’ve never done yoga before and probably wouldn’t start while filming Survivor.

On each tribe there are clear outcasts. Ben sensing he’s on the chopping block goes on a campaign to prove how essential his mountain man skills are. Meanwhile at Galu, the Kelly Taylor of the group, Shambo, talks about how she doesn’t fit in with the 90210 due to her age and work ethic. Shambs, add in your mullet and you’ve hit the nail on the head. At this point, you’re pretty certain that one of these hookers are heading home.

Cue combo reward/immunity challenge. Seriously, for all the millions Survivor makes and receives in production costs, they can’t think of two separate challenges. The castaways are given fresh new bathing suits for the challenge- sad face. This means I can no longer gawk at my precious John in his underwear. Thankfully, he’s a Speedo guy and doesn’t cover up too much of the goods. On a side note, I’m slowly starting to like both Jaison and Mick more than John- have you seen Mick’s body?! Given the fact John’s tribe is winning all the time, the editing has primarily focused on Galu and I haven’t gotten a chance to get to know my survivor boyfriend. Damn you Burnett. Random fun fact, did you know Jaison was Cosmopolitan Magazine’s Mr. California in 2006? Totally random, I know.

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After competing in the lame ass challenge, surprise, surprise, Foa Foa loses and scores another date with Jeffy at tribal council. For their win, Galu chief, Russell picks the comfort prize pack over the function one to make the ladies happy- or as he calls them “the women in his life”. Russell S. also sends Shambo to Foa Foa to do a little spying.

After the commercial break, Shambo pours on the charm to the Foa Foa members. Given the fact they had to deal with Sassy Yazzy last go around, Shambo is like manna from heaven. They even openly discuss how they want to trade her for Ben. Ouch. Speaking of which, it seems both his and Ashley’s necks are on the chopping block. Jaison can no longer hide his distaste for Ben and claims he’ll quit if Ben sticks around any longer. Russell H. is pushing hardcore to vote off Ashley since he fears she’ll start an-all-girl alliance. In addition, it’s always wise to keep someone who everyone hates so that the target remains focused on them instead of shifting to you. Again, I might be in the minority here, but I don’t mind Russell and appreciate his game tactics.

Fast forward to the ceremony where fire represents life and so on, Jaison and Ben have it out and taunt each other with schoolyard imitations of each other. Loved the voice Jaison used during his impersonation of Ben’s actions. LMAO. Ben’s defense of calling Yasmin “ghetto trash” also had me in stitches. “She’s from the ghetto and she’s trash. Therefore she’s ghetto trash”. Can’t argue with logic like that.

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In the end, the tribe unanimously voted out Ben- TGIF – and look to regroup now that the plague is gone. Russell had a change of heart and realized attaching him to a sinking ship would do him no good. Thankfully, Russell’s “dumb girl alliance” is still in tact- love how dumb those blonde bitches are. Do you think Foa Foa has a glimmer of hope of winning anything? Can they comeback from being four members down? I love Survivor and enjoyed every season (even Thailand), but I’m starting to get bored with this season. Anyone agree? ‘Til next time, live long and prosper. PEACE.

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