Survivor Heroes vs Villains Episode 4: “The Hobbit on Crack”


Survivor Heroes vs Villains Episode 4 – “The Hobbit on Crack”

Previously on Survivor, the God Warriors finally won immunity and sent the Devil’s Rejects to Tribal Council. Scratch that… the God Warriors totally dominated in a bone crunching victory. During the scramble, most of the villains agreed that Parvati was too much of a threat to stay but she wriggled out of danger. Grumpy Randy was sent home instead. Can the good guys keep it up or will they once again self destruct?

We start off this week with back with the Devil’s Rejects rehashing some conflict between Coach and Sandra. Coach tells us that he’s really sensitive. His feelings are hurt. Awww… poor delusional Coach. He then whines to Tyson … “I’m the f*cking man and I don’t need anyone to validate that.” LOLs. You keep telling yourself that Coach! Dude is seriously insecure. Then he starts crying. LOLs!!!!

Tyson is just shell shocked. This is the best shit ever. Coach then whines… “why doesn’t anyone ever say anything good about me”. So precious. Go back to the garden with your bucket of worms cry baby! He wants to quit! Wow… and then Tyson starts speaking some serious truth to Coach. He tells him to stop telling his stories because nobody believes them. He tells him to stop wearing feathers in his hair because people just mock him. Wow. Tyson steps up to the plate. Who said this tribe was evil?

The next morning, Tyson tells the rest of the tribe about Coach’s meltdown. Boston Rob goes to Coach, gives him the pep talk and they hug it out. Awww. Rob tells him to act like a man. Just when you think people are getting through to the douchebag, Coach tells the camera that he is “one of a kind”. He’s “the last of the Mohicans, King Arthur… LEGEND”. L-O-FUCKING-L. Then he quotes Confucius again. Dude is so unbalanced.

Over with the God Warriors, they get tree mail with the Sears catalogue. They get to pick two items to win at the next challenge. And what is that challenge? Both tribes have to slide down a giant slip n slide, collect balls and toss them in the basket. The God Warriors are playing for a tackle box, fishing rod and kitchen set. The Devil’s Rejects are going for a toolkit, tarp and twine. Food versus Shelter. The Villains sit out Parvati.

Everybody gets all greased up… yummmmmm…. Colby…. So sexy. Coach scores first for the villains. Russell then scores again as Cirie really floundered. Candice gets a point for the Heroes against Courtney. Jerri comes right back with a point against Amanda. James keeps the Heroes alive against Sandra. Rupert gets another one to tie it up. It’s up to Colby and Tyson to decide the winner. Tyson gets it! The Devil’s Rejects stick it to the God Warriors big time.

Back at the camp, the villains find a note hidden inside one of the tool cases. An immunity idol is hidden at camp! The clue was probably meant for just one person, but it fell out as Russell was opening some sort of saw. He’s pissed. People like Rob are confused. They’ve never played with hidden idols. Sandra wants to throw the damn thing in the ocean because whoever gets it is “marked”. Russell is determined to find it and keep it. He heads out to find it, but Boston Rob tells Sandra to follow him. She spies for a while and then reports back that he is indeed looking for it. The rest of them seem to agree that he’s the next to go whether he finds it or not. Rob says he’s like the “hobbit on crack”. Love it.

Back with the God Warriors, they find a similar note in their coffee canister. James laughs his ass off as JT reads out the clue. He’s the guy that got voted out with two hidden idols in his pocket back in China! They’re all confused. What do you do when everyone hears the clue? Unlike the Villains, there is no discussion. They all start looking for the idol. They all want it for themselves. Tom managed to find it while he, Amanda and James were all digging in the same spot! He tried to slip it in his SOCK. SNEAKY!!! Or not… Amanda saw him do it. She tells everybody. Turns out that Tom saw Amanda see. Now what? Colby and Tom decide to use it as leverage to get back on the inside.

Finally, we get to the immunity challenge. It’s like the one we just saw in Samoa when Other Russell collapsed and was taken out of the game. One person strapped inside a giant ball must guide blind folded team members through a course to a table maze where they have to help four more navigate a ball through the maze. The Villains sit out Sandra and Courtney. The Heroes sit out Cirie. Can the Heroes win a puzzle? Can they win it against Rob as the guide for the Villains? No. It was close, but Rob totally kicked ass. The God Warriors are going to Tribal. How will that not-so-hidden idol come into play?

Cirie says they have to get rid of Colby or Tom. They’re on the outs and they’re too strong. Tom is worried because he lost the challenge. But, he’s going to try and find the cracks in the alliance to save himself. Candice and Cirie run the numbers. They want to put three votes on both to force a tie. If Tom plays the idol, Colby goes home. If he doesn’t, they vote again 4-2 and one of them will go home.

Then Amanda and JT talk some strategy. Amanda wants Tom gone, but JT tells us that he wants Tom and the idol as part of his alliance now. JT doesn’t trust Candice and wants to get rid of her. Tom then tries to work Amanda and JT and offers them a deal. He even offers up the idol if they want it. James joins the party and they seem to embrace Tom. They just want to win. But then, Amanda goes and relays the whole conversation to Cirie who tells her that joining with the boys would be the dumbest move ever.

Cirie then tries to get Rupert, Amanda and James to back off the idea of voting out Candice. JT overhears and panics. New target… Cirie. She’s too smart. Oh shit. He goes to Tom and tells him that Cirie was just too good. Tom calls her the puppet master and tells JT to flip his vote to Cirie. That way Tom will get three, Colby two and Cirie will end up with three. Tom plays the idol and Cirie goes home. Noooooo!!!!! I love Cirie.

At Tribal, Probst rehashes the whole Stephenie boot for a while. Then they all talk about the importance of numbers versus the need to keep the tribe strong. Probst gasps when Rupert says he is voting to keep his word to the alliance as opposed to keeping the tribe strong. It feels like Porbst is pissed that his two jock buddies (Colby and Tom) are at the low end of the totem poll. Colby says it’s gonna take a bold move to change things up tonight. It’s clear by Tom and Colby’s reactions that they’re not too sure which way JT is gonna go. If he does blindside Cirie, it will be a big shock to everyone! And to me, it would be an uncalled for risk, but at least Cirie will go out in a fitting way.

It’s time to vote.

We see Candice vote for Tom and then Tom votes for Cirie. He says she’s just too good at wrapping all those weak minds around her finger. Snap! Then we see JT draw a big C. It could be Colby or Cirie.

Probst reads the votes. But before he does, Tom plays the idol. Tom. Tom. Tom. None of those count. Colby. Colby. Cirie. Cirie. Cirie!!! Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She says “wow”. Candice is floored. Rupert is pissed. James is confused. JT looks like he just shat his pants. I think he made a mistake. Now, he’ll have to fight back into the majority alliance. They still have the numbers. On the other hand, he may be able to control the others now that Cirie is gone. She really is one of the greatest social players to ever play the game.

I’m gonna miss her.

  • Robyn

    I was a little disappointed that Tyson didn’t mock Coach to the camera in the confessional. Maybe he felt for the guy… doubt it… it was probably so disparaging they edited it out feeling that the pathetic sobbing was enough of a humiliation. And what is the arm circles with fists thing?? Stop giving Coach so much camera time and move it to Colby.
    Oily, sandy, muddy, clean, dirty… don’ t care, all good.