A few weeks ago I caught a ride home with one of my co-workers. He’s a good-looking straight guy who grew up in a smaller part of BC, and recently moved to Vancouver to join our team.
From the moment we met, I knew he felt uneasy whenever he was around me. I wasn’t sure why because I always do my best to be inviting and kind to new people. I get along well, if not amazingly with my staff. I paid him some genuine compliments on his work and tried to keep things light and easy.
Finally he had admitted to me that, indeed, he hadn’t known anyone who was gay (really? In this day and age?) and wasn’t sure if I was ‘coming on’ to him (for the record, I wasn’t.) I only hit on straight guys who know that I’m kidding and can handle it. Well, them and NHL players with long term, high compensating contracts LOL.
What I found most comical about his admission was that he was more so offended when he realized it was all in his head.
“Look, I mean, I think I’m a hot guy and I’ve been here for a few months. I can’t even get a girl to talk to me when I go out.”
“Well, have you actually walked up to a girl, introduced yourself and offered to buy her a drink?” I asked.
“No. I like to be approached”
“Good Luck buddy, this is Vancouver!” I remarked. The conversation continued, and “Bo” (not his real name, just one I stole from Days of Our Lives) found himself taking advice from a Gay.
The more comfortable he felt, the more forthcoming he became. Bo said that he was actually “kinda mad” because I didn’t want him. In his eyes, if a gay guy didn’t find him attractive, then how would any girl in the lower mainland?
His argument sat with me for a while. I tried to put myself in his shoes, and I guess his statement made sense. He was right, gay guys more-so-than-not like a good exterior. Mind you, after we date them for a few weeks, we learn the truth and decide whether or not we’ll put up with the inside folly for the outside sizzle.
But then I also thought to myself “You stupid fuck. How dare you?” I went there in my mind. The literal meaning behind his proclamation hit me. Was he implying that gay guys were the lowest denominator and that “if someone as low as ME and MY KIND wouldn’t want him, then how could he ever get someone above that?”
I didn’t get upset. In fact, I rarely do as I reminded him that the odds were in his favour in a city like this, and to just get out there and go for it. He did and it worked. Go figure. But still I wonder if the average straight man realizes that perhaps he has allies in the gay world. You may be a good looking gent, but it doesn’t mean I have to like you like that. And who knows, maybe I can help guide your milk to the pussycat.