Hollah! We’re back folks – Season 9 of So You Think You Can Dance kicked off their auditions portion this week, showcasing dancers from New York City, New York and Dallas, Texas. I won’t be recapping all of the audition episodes, as I feel the producers (Nigel Lythgo AGAIN) over do this stage of the competition and I just refuse to give them any more time than needed. It’s hard to believe that we’re going from one Lythgo-manipulated-and-produced show, American Idol, to another, SYTYCD. Believe me, Adam and I share the exact same feelings towards Skeletor and his absolutely ridiculous methods. His reality-show-template is getting incredibly stale and it’s time to really think outside the box or risk some of them being cancelled all together. Mark my words…

The two-hour show kicked off in New York with Skeletor, SCREAMIN’ Mary Murphy (hells yeah she’s back on TV) and Tyce Diorio on the judging panel. Overall the auditions were fairly standard comparable to the last few years. The scripted judge’s comments included a few ‘best dancer this show has ever seen’ and ‘WHOO WHOO YOU’VE GOT A TICKET ON THE HOT TOMALE TRAIN’. Lies. While I was definitely entertained by a few of the Contemporary dancers and one Hip-Hop/street dancer, there really weren’t a lot of stand-out performances I felt truly worthy of recollecting. And don’t even get me started on the gimmicky production of the one female contestant who loved Paris, even though she has never been, and they swapped the video out to replicate a silent film, a la The Artist knock off, which fell incredibly flat. This show really is made for a 13-year-old-audience.

On the flip side, I did swoon over David Baker, the contestant originating from Australia who performed his audition shirtless, while dancing the ballet. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. This kid has HUGE potential for locking in the tweenager vote, and I can definitely see him sticking around for a while.

I just randomly thought of Carly Rae Jepsen, and I really hope her song, Call Me Maybe, gets used this year in one of the dances. Random, but thought I’d share.

The second hour of the show had the SYTYCD crew head over to Dallas, Texas. This time Skeletor and Screamin’ MM were joined by BUCK krumper Lil’ C. Shit son, get out the thesaurus so you can follow along. HOLY SH*T how have I not mentioned Cat Deeley yet?! My apologies!!!! Yes, my favourite reality TV show host was back for yet another season and her kooky approach instantly brought a smile to my face. I. Love. This. Woman. A summer without Cat Deeley would definitely break my heart…

The last rant I need to get out is the amount of screen time they give to Skeletor during this episode. Every single time a dancer took to the stage and started performing, within five seconds the camera cut back to Skeletor sitting there making some RIDICULOUS face or making an absolutely obnoxious noise. If I have to hear him moan-scream, ‘OUCH’ every time someone does the splits, I am going to chuck my juice at the TV. Enough is enough, just show us the dancing. I don’t care to look at an old geriatric for 50% of the show. Also, Nigel kept going on and on about how they really expect the dancers to bring unique styles and routines to the stage to stand apart from the crowd. In the end, this statement becomes completely irrelevant as we’re forced to watch the same 6-10 styles of dance each week once the contestants make their way into the performance show stage of the competition. Start living the values you preach Lythgo.

I will leave you on a positive note, this year we won’t have to suffer through hour-long results shows with poorly selected filler nonsense and lip-syncing disasters! After the audition rounds and Vegas week, the show will be airing one night a week with the performances and eliminations all happening in one (I presume extended) show. I can’t wait to see how Cat graciously keeps the showing moving along while getting goose bumps, shedding a few tears, and giggling ferociously. It’s going to be magical!

The one surprise that caught me off guard at the end of the show was the clips from next week! Skeletor and Mary will be joined on the next leg of audition cities by Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Mitchell from Modern Family). He was OUTSTANDING last season when he joined the judges as part of the live performance and elimination episodes, and I can only imagine the candor he’ll bring to this stage of the competition. On that note, the audition weeks must be suffering big time in the ratings if the producers need to leverage comedic star power to get people to tune in.

Until Vegas Week folks (or next week if JTF is brilliant enough to discuss)! Welcome back to all my favourite readers as well! Robyn, buckle up, it’s going to be a busy summer filled with a helluva lotta eye rolls!! Terry Jaxxon – I look forward to reading your insightful commentary again this season.

As for fellow castmates Rich and Adam, things are about to real up in here!