‘RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars’ Episode 5: Superheroes

Yes I knew this was coming up as soon as RuPaul’s All Stars Drag Race started. Yes I was looking forward to it the absolute most, and yes I was so incredibly disappointed with the outcome of the episode. I’m going to tell you why in a BIG paragraph rant at the end but first let’s review what happened shall we?

Back in the workroom it was Rujubee and Shad left. Probably the most unsurprising final teams anyone could’ve imagined but my girls were still there so I was happy. Ru came onto the TV screen and it was all superhero talk. Yes girl I started salivating. She LOVES her superheroes and her comic books (SIDENOTE – I’ll be started a new column on Homorazzi about all that real soon), and I couldn’t wait to see what they were going to turn out. First though it was mini challenge time, BASKETBALL. While I totally don’t know what this has to do with drag I’m not going to lie, I loved it. It was hysterical. Rujubee dominated the court and won the mini challenge.  Their prize? Phone calls home.


Back in the workroom it was time for the main challenge, SHEROES AND VILLAINS! Each team had to be a hero and a villain and the winning team would be immortalized in a real life comic book. I squealed! The teams had to come up with backstory, powers, outfits everything for their super powered challenge. HONESTLY, I could’ve taken this with my eyes closed and mouth sewn shut. LIVING for this challenge, until I started to hear the stories they started coming up with. They were ridiculous.

Chad Michaels was FIRECROTCH, a super hero who was going to rejuvinate vaginas, and Shannel was LACTATIA the evil villain who could thwart the plans with her lactating tits? Stupid. It wasn’t even funny, it was desperate. Juju and Raven were a little better but even still. They had a much better backstory but the powers were a bit ridiculous. Something about coming to earth and only surviving because Jujubee got the power of a tan and Raven was albino? Whomp. Whomp.

Ok rant part one – I get it. You guys want to be funny but this is a challenge that you could’ve done so much with. You could’ve done anything and came up with a really creative backstory, but instead we got pussy tightening and fake tans. On the runway they had to show their civilian wear and then their superhero wear. Shannel’s was ridiculous, she looked like a blow up bondage doll, and Chad just seemed a little too tacky for me. Raven was very sleek as a villain but for me Jujubee was the best personification of a superhero and I’m going to tell you why. They wanted COMIC BOOK, not cartoon. In today’s books the looks is tight, sleek and sexy. Was she missing accessories? Absolutely, a power belt would’ve been perfect but the hair was on point, the outfit was on point.  She was a modern day superhero.

The team that lost this week would be lip syncing for their life against each other and that team was no surprise to me; Rujubee. Chad and Shannel won again because RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars was essentially created to have Chad Michaels win. Oh yes HUN-TY I said it.  Want to know my theory? Here goes. We all know that Chad Michaels was slated to win RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 4, that’s who everyone in charge wanted to win. I give props to Chad for being in the business for 20 years, yes he’s done amazing things in his career but I’m sorry, he has not been the star everyone wants him to be. He’s kind of dull on camera, he’s too full of himself, when he plays bitchy it comes off as phony and honestly if he quotes the Hunger Games one more time…I’m going to throw my television out the window. However, the fans wanted Sharon Needles to win (DESERVEDLY) and if Ru chose Chad there would’ve been the BIGGEST backlash. So now we have All Stars. It’s not hard to see, it’s actually quite obvious if you really pay attention. Chad and Shannel have not been the best in the challenges this season and yet they always win. Chad’s lipsync against Mimi wasn’t better, and even everyone saying “I’m so terrified of Chad he’s SO good”…um why? I’m sorry, fiercer queens have gone home MUCH sooner (Nina Flowers) and they are all light years cooler. Even the guest judges saying Chad deserves this…did you even know who he was before the show started Jillian Hervey? Probably not.

Back to the review, Jujubee and Raven had to lip sync against each other in one of the most emotional battles of the series. When it was time to reveal who would leave, RuPaul saved them both. Predictable. I totally saw it coming when she was taking forever with her decision.

So now we have a final four. Raven, Jujubee, Chad Michaels and Shannel. Two deserve to be there, two don’t really. Two are personable and humble, young and fun. Two aren’t. RuPaul has asked America once again to help her choose the winner and for the love of god this crown needs to go to RAVEN or JUJUBEE. They are truly the two best stars to come out of this franchise. SO VOTE! VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE for them. Tweet Rupaul or put it on her Facebook.

But mark my words, you will probably be seeing Chad Michaels as the first Hall of Famer, and only because he’s known RuPaul the longest.

HUN-TY.

PS – In the Untucked, how shady was it of Chad to say that he could’ve represented RuPaul better than Sharon Needles? Sharon is everywhere. Out 100, PETA ads, civic ceremonies and it’s because she was different and she appealed to the younger audience. Sharon was the deserved winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 4, the fans already spoke on that.

Don’t forget to follow me on twitter @TommyD. One more week of RuPaul’s All-Star Drag Race… tell me what you think.

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  • Bryan

    GRAMMAR!

  • Evan

    I am a big fan of Jujubee and Raven, but I also feel that Chad is VERY consistent. Shannel has never done much for me. Chad, Jujubee, or Raven should win, and I will be happy with the outcome as long as it is one of those three. Jujubee is charming and hilarious, Raven is sleek and polished, and Chad really won me over when I saw him live back in September. He was a true performer and gave an inspirational speech to the crowd about not being ashamed of our sexualities, and also encouraged us all to fight for (and/or embrace) gay rights. Contrary to all the shade thrown toward Chad in this article, he certainly possesses qualities worthy of an all-star winner in my books.

  • JMC

    When All Stars began I too feared a Chad Michael’s win was predetermined and while she is polished she’s not as unique nor is her personality with either Raven or Jujubee. Sharon won season 4 fair and square. Don’t get me wrong I think Chad is incredible but she isn’t the strongest queen here.

    Raven and Jujubee, how can you call it? All season I’ve asked myself who I prefer and I long thought Raven was my number one bitch but the truth is I can’t split these two. They’re the ultimate double act. As Raven said at the season premiere party at the Abbey “we’re the Lucy and Ethel of drag,” they compliment each other perfectly. I love them both and whoever is to win they’re both the winners to me.

  • Del

    Chad. Yawn.

    When does Season 5 start again?

  • Dragon Musk

    I just want this season over already…

    My favourite 2 teams (Latrila and Yarlexis) have gone already.
    And you know what? THOSE 2 TEAMS WOULD HAVE BOTH TURNED IT THIS CHALLENGE. (Yara’s quirkiness, Manila’s campy humour and costumey runways; imagine Latrice and Yara as villains!). This challenge was ruined…

    Also… am I the only one who thought Chad looked more like the villain? Tbh, if Shannel didn’t have the spikes around the mask area, I would have thought she was the hero… Seriously, if Chad came to save me, I’d run :-/

    I loved Rujubee more on Season 2… this Season they just keep underwhelming me. I wish they would have sent home Shad last week (seriously, Fanny Shosha was the best when you watch it back).

    Whatever, at least we can look forward to Season 5 ;-P

  • Rebel

    Omg, u totally read my mind! I totally feel this all-stars was created to give Chad the win. I feel that they probably wanted to give Chad last season but Sharon Needles was unstoppable. Really Chad’s lipsync performances on the show have been pretty mediocre. Her style is polished yet boring as hell. Really i think all top four are mediocre. Manila would have been fierce with this main challenge. But I digress. I’d rather see Shannel win to just piss Chad off lol. Raven hasn’t been good either and Jujubee lacks a sense of style. Jujubee has the Charisma, Nerve, Talent (lipsync) but not Uniqueness. But I love her so damn much and this is her only chance to win so I’m gonna root for her!

  • Rebel

    If Team Latrila was in the final, they would probably get the most votes from the fans.

  • Shannel is a true diva and I don’t like her. Chad is too old to win this. Please Ru, make Jujubee win this. I wanted Manila to win, but she was ROBBED by YARLEXIS who annoys me since season 3. At least Raven’s winning still makes sense.

  • @Evan, you can’t count what they do in real life. If we’re going to do that NINA FLOWERS or LATRICE are the two strongest performers hands down.

    The inspirational speech…Sharon did it too (for 15 minutes in fact) but this isn’t a speech competition this is a DRAG Competition.

  • @Bryan sorry girl I’m too passionate…want to be my editor?

  • Mike

    I freaking LOATHE Chad!! I have hated him since last season and was annoyed he made it that far! I groaned when I saw he was going be on All-Sars (didnt get why that happend) and I am dumb-founded he is still in THIS season!

    He is SUPER phony!! He always gives these fake ass speeches, it honeslty comes off so disingenous and condescending…you a motherf*cken drag queen NOT Mother Teresa…get the f*ck over yourself!! He is trying soo hard to be”funny & bitchy” this season but he comes off as an idiot and I agree with the whole Hunger Games things…STFU with that! *and breath* I hate that mofo!

    Shannel – that heffer shouldnt even be there and I loved when Juju & Raven were giving her shit! ha

    Raven & Juju – I have been a fan of both of these two since Season 2 and last night proved just why!! Both are HILARIOUS!! I could not stop laughing when, in Untucked, Jujubee was making fun of Shad in the group number!! That lip-sync was amazing. I also would be happy with EITHER of these 2 winning! If Chad win, that will be a travesty!

  • @MIKE

    DONT SPLIT THE VOTE Pick Raven or Juju and vote for one of them. If you split the vote, Chad will win.

  • Del

    Chad = Romney
    Juju = Obama

  • Cunty Munty

    They should have called this season, “Rupauls’s Drag Race: Here’s the Money I Owe You From Last Season Chad” not “All Stars”

  • @CuntyMunty
    Shes doesn’t owe her anything. if the fans wanted Chad to win, she would’ve won.

  • Mike

    @Tommy

    IF i had to choose, I would go with Raven, so I am voting her him.

    ALSO: as a HUUUUUUGE comic book fan can’t wait to see what you have in store for us!!

  • Gummy

    I want Raven to win!!! the villian outfit was sooo sinckening!!!

  • JMC

    @Tommy D

    YIKES! At the thought of Rujubee splitting the vote. Did not even consider that happening and it probably will.

  • I love bitter queens that are obsessed with telling others how they don’t deserve something or that they are not good enough. It’s RuPauls show and if the show was created for Chad to win then guess what,Ru can do whatever she wants. Instead we should be supporting each other and hoping the best for all the contestants. Although that sounds like the best thing to do there are always going to be those watching television wishing they were talented enough or praying that anyone would remotely care about them enough to be watched. Too bad no one does so if you don’t like the show then change the channel….. Don’t be bitter about a show about drag queens!!!

  • @Jawn

    That’s the whole point of a competition show darling. You like some and you don’t like other. If everyone loved everyone it would be really bad for ratings now wouldn’t it sweetheart.

  • Kevin Kretsinger

    @Tommy D,
    Hi Honey! You hit the nail on the head with this review! Yes Ru has been fawning over Chad all season. It is so very clear. Shannel is just a big ham and looks like one too!
    Rujubee is such a wonderful team, you can see the friendship, love and respect they have for one another. I love them both but I do want Jujubee to win so much….she deserves it! Hope to see you in Seattle again soon.
    Kevin

  • JMC

    @Kevin

    “Shannel is just a big ham and looks like one too!” Dead! HAHA

    @Jawn

    You’re a Mimi fan aren’t you.