Since he came out in 2010, Ricky Martin has been an out and proud gay man. He’s even a father of two boys whom he’s raising with his partner Carlos Gonzalez Abells. In a candid interview with GQ Australia, the 41-year-old Latin singer opens up about having internalized homophobia in his past. He reveals he bullied gay people during his youth as a means of trying to suppress his own feelings.

“I was very angry, very rebellious. I used to look at gay men and think, I’m not like that, I don’t want to be like that, that’s not me. I was ashamed,” Ricky told GQ Australia. “When you’re told you’re wrong by everyone, from society, from your faith – my self-esteem was crushed. I took my anger out on those around me.”

“I look back now and realize I would bully people who I knew were gay. I had internalized homophobia. To realize that was confronting to me,” he added. “I wanted to get away from that.”

Ricky goes on to say that everything feels right these days as an openly-gay celebrity. “If I’d know how good it was going to feel, I would have done it ten years ago,” he shares. Check out Martin’s inside editorial snapped by photographer Miguel Reveriego below. Just like wine, the “Livin’ la Vida Loca” singer gets better with age.