Friday, April 24th, at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, Homorazzi.com came face to face with some pretty amazing stars… and I didn’t throw up- not once! Seeking to ensure the event’s coverage by gay and lesbian specific media, our crew of L.A.-bound Homorazzians were asked if we’d like to attend the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center’s “An Evening With Women” fund raiser. We asked: “Red carpet access for four?” They said: “Yes.” We said: “See you at 6:30 sharp.” …We were ten minutes late. But, we had arrived, and were ready to conquer. Before this report begins, I want to assure that while I may go for the jugular a few times in this article, that’s just to sound cool and like I belonged… we ALL know the event was for an amazing cause; we were lucky to be there; and I’m a newbie in a sea of pros. Still, I gotta rip a few new holes ;)
So, we started off late. To be fair, it wasn’t completely our fault: a) we were sharing one bathroom between 4 homos- 3 high maintenance coiffures, and me- and, b) there was ZERO parking. Having repeatedly circled the multi-leveled lot, Brian and I were beginning to think we’d have to forgo our passes to the night and let the true star-f*ckers- Donovan and Patrick- represent our blogotorial as we would find parking 8 blocks away and 30 minutes late. But, in true “The Secret” fashion, Patrick’s “if you put it out there it will happen” (*cough* bullshit *cough*) mantra was suddenly vindicated and a spot opened up right next to the elevator. Cut to us, mad dashing it to wherever it looked like the oddly well-built and broad shouldered women were flocking to, showing up just as the red carpet was opening access to the stars. Being that it was 30 minutes before the carpet was suppose to “open”, by stars I do of course mean some random kid with an inappropriately poufy scarf from Noah’s Arc (Daniel, you would have loved it) and “Women who works local coffee shop” on the L Word- but hey, we were there to catch them. Finding our reserved spot (that’s right folks, labels taped to the red carpet and everything) at the END of the red carpet, we began to set up.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “End of the carpet”? What does that even mean? We were literally what the celebrities would run into before turning 90 degrees left and heading into the dining area. After realizing that the earlier spots on the runway went to people like Entertainment Tonight and CNN, we were quickly humbled… then we realized we actually had it pretty sweet as we were the last spot on the long walk and had fewer screaming media to compete it. So, we worked with what we had!
Donovan- the resident photographer- was of course in charge of ensuring we got the best shots with his gorgeous digital SLR so he was busy clicking throughout the evening. Brian- who couldn’t tell you an actor’s last movie or ex-husband to save his life- was manning the video camera and played occasional body guard as more aggressive media witches (I said it) began encroaching on our allotted territory. Patrick and I decided to take on the role of interviewers as I’ve seen every movie ever made and as he himself is in the world of acting… Also, he was the reason we got invited there and was by-far the most excited of our bunch. Once the D-List made their way down a barely-camera flashing carpet, the true stars came out. First up was Jane Lynch: the insanely funny actress from Christopher Guest’s movies (Best in Show, Waiting For Guffman etc.), and from the recently released- and soon to be reviewed by me- comedy Role Models. Not only in attendance to the fund raiser, Jane was on the Board of Directors of the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center and had more than just a couple words for us. As you can see from the video, Patrick opened up by asking her about the event and what she was most proud of; Jane’s eyes lit up and began explaining all the amazing services and support systems the Center provided the gay and lesbian community- it was truly inspiring. Then- in true Adam fashion as you will soon see- I completely focused on her work and began telling her how much I adored her recent release and that I would never “Bull shit a bull shitter!” She laughed and went into a few impressions that had me beaming as I realized talking with these celebrities wasn’t going to be all that bad after all! Letting her get back to her work- after she spoke to us about our site and gave us her seal of approval, we watched as Cybill Shepherd and her daughter (recently out lesbian and star on the L Word) Clementine Ford, took over the show. While we didn’t get to grab the all-too busy duo for an interview, we got amazing footage and pictures of their first red carpet-esque appearance since Clementine came out. Watching the mother-daughter gay-acceptance moment was quite event for the media that night and they- and we- ate it up.
Click on the picture below to view the gallery
While I won’t bore you with a list of every star in attendance that night- just take a gander at the plethora of pics Donovan snapped- I will tell you about a couple of the more interesting occurrences. While we had our solitary spot at the end of the carpet, there WAS one woman next to us that had Brian and I in stitches as she applied the most guerrilla-warfare tactics in order to grab the celebrities’ attention. While I won’t say which publication she was from- mostly because Donovan won’t let me- I will tell you that her accent made her nearly impossible to understand and her $2 hair scrunchie would have Carrie cringing in her Manolos. Patrick- god love him- has a too Ghandi-esque approach to conflict and wouldn’t tell the bouncing woman to get out of our shot and back to her own spot, so Brian and I took over and began using Brian’s body as a physical barrier between us and her in order to have room to interview the stars and ensure they didn’t think she was “with us”. The only time a WASP like me chooses not to be passive aggressive is when actual physical aggression is required ;)
It was worth the vagina-blocking effort though as the next star to stop for Patrick’s: “Can we get just ONE question?” prodding was none other than the gorgeous and sweet Eliza Dushku. Wearing a gorgeous black and white flowered dress, she said: “Of course,” when we asked her to hang out with us. Immediately realizing I didn’t want to ask her something she’d likely answered 40 times already that night I told her that we were a gay site from Vancouver and that we loved up her there and that Tru Calling was a great way to have her in our city… and of course that Buffy and Angel basically made my life. Ensuring her we all watch Dollhouse (I have to get on that!), she let me slide in next to her for a pic and some videotaping before heading to dinner. By the way, she’s pretty much flawless up close. After Eliza, we saw countless stars posing on the runway- not there to answer questions so much as get their picture taken and head in. One star who wanted to make an appearance was Sharon Stone. Showing up in a huge coat the paparazzi wondered what she was getting at until BAM she dropped the thing and revealed a hot pink number that proves the size 00 is out there. Weighing in at no more than 85 pounds soaking wet, she made her way down a flashing run way until the- I’m sorry to have to say this- frumpy, overweight, early 20-something brunette from Fox News forced her into a one-on-one. Now, I had already wondered what the hell they were doing there- being so conservative and basically homophobic… but seeing who they had sent, it was clear they were just covering their bases. I don’t know WHAT Ugly Betty asked… but Sharon Stone LOST IT! She began pointing furiously at the disheveled girl and all cameras turned to them as Sharon’s face crunched up in utter contempt before she stormed down the rest of the runway. (No, I did NOT ask her for a follow-up!). Immediately, Chunkey Brewster began twittering like mad to all 7 of her closest friends and I burst into laughter and grabbed the video camera from Brian to zoom in on her. It was golden.
Check out our video from this memorable evening.
Not to be outdone, however, was Perez Hilton. Now, Patrick was the only one who saw this, but I’ll take his word on it. Apparently, as the blogger made his way down the carpet, he spotted Brian and Patrick wearing our “Homorazzi” shirts and did a double take. Likely realizing we were a gay site, and not wanting to spread the wealth, the “star” suddenly heard his phone amidst the madness and picked it up on the runway and ran the last quarter stretch of the carpet… Really? Who picks up their phone while on the red carpet? Anyway, we wrote him off and decided he just didn’t want to share the net hits. Donovan got him back regardless in our (now over 5000 hits at the time when this article was published) video coverage of The Hills Wedding in Pasadena by calling him a “douche” for the YouTube world to see ;)
The next interview was between Patrick and Dita Von Teese… I had no clue who she was :) If marrying Marilyn Manson doesn’t make you famous then apparently looking damn sexy in a vintage green, boob hugging number should! She was impeccable. Chatting with Patrick about the evening, she inquired about his shirt and said she loved the name. As her we’re-pretty-sure-he’s-famous-but-god-knows-what-for boyfriend pulled her away, Patrick scrambled for one of our business cards and nearly incurred the wrath of the- albeit sandwichy- angry bouncer… but I have to hand it to him, the little one got the card into her grasp and she politely took it with her (I’m SURE she’s reading this as we speak ;).
Catching Paris fly by the paparazzi with her “The Hills Season 3” boyfriend, we got some good snaps of the princess as she waved “Bonsoir” to the flashing bulbs. I turned to the coordinator beside me and we agreed she likely found the closest exit she could in the dining room and was halfway home already… or maybe she stayed, isn’t she trying to save kids with her fame these days…?
The night was coming to a close: Sharon and Kelly Osbourne proved they weren’t as sick or overweight as the media would have us believe; Jennifer Coolidge proved they DO make HH-cup sized bras (she looked DAMN good by the way, nothing like the surgery-victim she looks like on Nip/Tuck); quickly departing mainstream media proved they really only had patience for the big stars who could show up on time… it was coming to an end. Then, much to my utter surprise and excitement: Rose McGowan appeared through the doors. Playing the paparazzi like there was NO tomorrow, she posed for a good ten minutes before quickly making her way towards the already-begun dinner but was stopped by our littlest Homorazzi member and ushered to my side. Knowing she really didn’t want to talk about much, I told her we were: “From a gay blog in Vancouver”… WRONG MOVE. Don’t tell celebrities you’re from a blog: lesson 1 kids! “Oh, you’re a blog…” is the dubious reply I got from her. Quickly back-pedaling, I explained we were more of an editorial and that we adored her and that- wait for it- I was personally on the last season of Charmed as I’d recently decided to re-watch then entire series. After realizing I wasn’t kidding, she thanked me and said- and I’ll never forget this: “You are the shadow, and I am the sun.”
Stars, they’re just like us.