Pony: My New Best Friend


Over the Victoria Day long weekend I ventured out to one of my favourite places on the planet; Regina, Saskatchewan. Whoa, let me back up. I was born and raised there, and I have deep roots that keep me connected to the prairie lifestyle! (Okay, I seriously love that place and a lot of people who still call it home).

The trip was a whirlwind adventure of two-and-a-half days that included a funeral, stagette and reunion. The funeral was for a dear friend of my mother’s, and one of my family’s godparents, Carol. She was an amazing person who will be greatly missed, and I truly appreciate everything she did for me as I was growing up. The reunion was for the past 20 years that Gymnastics Adventure has been in operation. I started training and flipping with the club when I was three years old and my family was actively involved in the sport until we moved to BC in 1996. That’s a whole different story for another day!

The point of this story is to discuss the stagette for a friend of mine (but more Steph’s), Melissa, who just happened to have her shindig the weekend I was there. Typically, men aren’t invited to stagettes. Knowing me, I of course was the exception to the rule. When I first walked in to the party with two girls (naturally, we were an hour late), there was a bit of awkward tension with the heightened masculinity in the room. Needless to say, I quickly cleared that up. There were several party games that I threw myself into, including a candid video shoot of a girl-on-girl lap dance, and getting myself dressed up in the sickest mermaid-style-toilet-paper-base wedding dress, but I digress.

It was at this party that I was informally introduced to my new best friend, Pony:


(Pony making friends with our cabbie, Zafar, on route to the bar).

We hit it off right away. What’s not to love about a plush pony head on the end of a long wooden stick, fit for riding?! I quickly adopted this wide-eyed stag as my wingman for the night and made sure that everyone knew, no matter what, he and I were sticking together.

The stagette eventually shifted from the house party (amazingly decorated with a country western theme) to the local country bar, The Pump.

Pony quickly latched on to our cab driver, Zafar (pictured above). They bonded all the way to the bar to the point that Zafar asked if he could pick us up again at the end of the night to ensure Pony (and I) got home okay. Naturally, we agreed, and high-fived!

At this point, the night with Pony started to get a little fuzzy. I briefly remember a man named Mike agreeing to give Steph away, a girl with a paper cowboy duct taped to her back riding Pony (pictured below), and triple drinks in big plastic cups on special for $12.


Pony, bless Saskatchewan!

We parted ways near the end of the night, naturally, as Pony found a very ‘sober’ and willing lady-friend to go home with. In true wingman fashion, I tipped my hat and bid my fine stallion friend a good night.

Sadly, Pony is now missing. If anyone has seen a Palomino Pony with a stick for a body, approximately weighing two pounds, with a plush diamond on his forehead, please have him call me. I will come pick him up, wherever he is. Pony, if you’re reading this, just text me our safe word and I’ll find you!

  • Timothy

    Arguably the best article to be posted on homorazzi.com to date. Absolutely just made my day. Maybe it’s time to put some posters up “Have you seen this Pony?”

  • Dan

    Timothy – that is arguably the best comment on this site thus far, with absolutely the best possible recommend!

  • Nic O.

    wowee wowee whoa whoa wow. that just blew my mind. dan ur effin’ HI-larious

  • Gina

    Yee-Haw! Is that the safeword? P.S. Melissa pretty excited to haveher pic up on your website 🙂

  • Dan

    Yee Haw is the safe word! PONY – USE IT!!