Patti Stanger Talks Gay Relationships & Grindr With Andy Cohen

Recently, Patti Stanger (also known as The Millionnaire Matchmaker) sat down with Andy Cohen on Watch What happens Live to talk relationships and take calls from viewers who had questions. In doing so, we saw Stanger reveal a lot about how she feels about gay relationships and what she sees going on in the gay community when it comes to lack of monogamy, open relationships, Grindr, after someone asked about “long distance open relationships”. When Cohen challenges her by saying that he is gay and is one for monogamy, Stanger laughs and says, “When was the last time you were in a long term relationship?… Let’s get into it…”

Some are saying that her comments are homophobic, but I’m going to disagree. I do have to say that sadly, I do agree with some of the things that Stanger said in terms of what goes on in the gay community. After some of my previous relationships and what I’ve seen go on in my own city, there once was a point where I felt that having a serious relationship in the “gay world” was pointless because without having many role models for gay relationships, I feel that there is often too much infidelity or simply just people that have no boundaries or respect for others and want to try to mess up your relationship. These public perceptions won’t change until we change them.

All of this being said, Stanger went too far when a viewer called in via video and she mistakenly thought he was straight at first: “Well first of all, let me say you’re very handsome and I thought you were straight… so that’s a compliment.” Whoa. What’s that supposed to mean? Watch the video below to see the look on Andy Cohen’s face after she says that.

  • Oh please, Patti Stanger hit the nail right on the head. I watched this and was expecting something so insanely crazy but all she did was tell it like it is.

    Grindr is FULL off In a relationship but still play or whatever. So as far as that is concerned, she’s right.

    And the whole thing I thought you were straight that’s a compliment, and the she did the whole thing who wants a queen..really. Well she hit the nail on the head again. As IF all you homos out there all put the same thing |Masc into only masc guys. Only masc may message”ahh go fuck yourself. I love a good queen and I am a good queen.

    Stanger was right on the money, and anyone who is offended by this clearly has never been the butt of a “queeny fag” joke.

    Moving on.

  • AJ

    I’m really not offended by her comments, i’m more offended by the derogatory tone. Look, gay relationships aren’t the only ones that are open. To think that hetero relationships are more monogamous is hog wash. It’s one of those things where there is a stigma against it so people aren’t open about….kinda like being gay. In the gay community we are not restricted by these supposed norms.

    There is nothing wrong with either. She should know better.

  • Ryan

    I think the lack of monogamy in the gay community is prevalent for many of the same reasons why…in the U.S. for example…. there was and still is a much higher tendency for black individuals to be married to other black people. Only in 1967 were anti-miscegenation laws deemed unconstitutional, and I think the affects those laws had on society are an interesting comparison to how current laws deal with glbt relationships. Laws preventing marital status for same sex relationships affect the glbt community in such a way that committed relationships are harder to achieve if you can’t achieve the same legal status as heterosexual counterparts. Beyond the legal status, there is a social component that suggests same sex couple’s are “lesser than”. With Canada and ten other countries legalizing same sex marriage, I think monogamy will increase in time just as in the U.S. interracial marriages increased as time distanced society from the ignorance of the anti-miscegenation laws.

  • Ryan

    *Canada and nine other countries, sorry.

  • Anonymous

    Oh she’s such a piece of shit. Yes many gay men struggle with shame and infidelity, but we are by NO means incapable of monogamy. It’s just like in the straight community: people struggle to grow up and find stable, long-term relationships that make them content. I think she needs to go fuck herself and stop generalizing the hell out of us just because she thinks that we’re all the same, we all want to seem “masc” or whatever and aren’t true to ourselves. Patti Stanger could have just perhaps analyzed the causes of this infidelity, instead of using it insensitively to jab at Andy Cohen etc.

  • Anonymous

    And Tommy D, there’s no reason to be so hostile about the whole thing. We are working hard to NOT live like how you’re saying. Just stabbing us like that with the “all you homos” bullshit doesn’t fix anything. How about offering possible solutions and analyzing reasons for this instead of just insulting everyone? You don’t have the solutions, and certainly Patti Stranger or whatever doesn’t either. She just hates us. I wonder about her previous relationships. I BET she just had one boyfriend forever and then just married him. This is such bullshit.