First, a big thank you to Homorazzi reader and friend of mine Andrew for sending me this little tidbit to share with the rest of you. Now, I come from a religious Baptist/Mennonite background so when it comes to the church vs. homosexuality, I get really defensive because as much as I hate when church groups promote hate through big campaigns and protests (albeit, those are pretty radical extremist groups), I do know where the theology behind their argument comes from. However, I don’t agree with the method and for every bit of scripture to support the detest of homosexuality, there is also scripture to support loving all mankind and “love the sinner, hate the sin.”

So, when I read this list titled 14 Outrageous Secrets That A Homosexual Will Never Tell You from ChristWire.org, my jaw actually dropped to the floor. You can tell when reading this list that many of these radical Christian groups actually have NO idea what actually goes on in the world of homosexuality. Trust, when you read this list, you will think they are absolutely delusional. I especially enjoy the comparison of gay bars to terrorism. WHAT?! I know. Check out the list below.

1. HOMOSEXUALS BLEACH THEIR ANUSES

“It is not clear if the Anal Bleaching technique is meant to cover up bruises or lashes from hardcore sadomasochist sessions that the homosexual often engages in. It also fits into the recent trend of online sex dating sites, where people post close-up photographs of their various sexual organs in an attempt to attract a mate. A boy with a pretty anus may be more attractive to the dominant homosexual.”

2. MUTUAL MASTURBATION IS THE PRIMARY REASON FOR GYM MEMBERSHIP

“The steam room is where the most offensive homosexual action takes place. Keep your gaze steady and straight ahead. Eye contact with another man can be mistaken as encouragement.”

3. “HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE” WILL USHER IN AN EPOCH OF INTERNATIONAL TERROR

“‘Gay weddings’ will be the new codeword for bestial displays of chintz and pop, bare flesh and sweaty fornication. Who is the bride? Who is the groom? Will it even matter when plentiful champagnes and civil rights speeches muddle guests’ minds? The beautiful notion of a honeymoon will be redefined as an exercise in international scandal, where homosexual couples travel far and wide to expose their nasty wares to the underprivileged. They will pack suitcases full of dildos and lubricant, pornography and women’s wear, as teaching tools to the muscled young men of third world countries.”

4. HETEROSEXUAL WOMEN ARE FAR LESS LIKELY TO GET MARRIED IF THEY SOCIALIZE WITH GAY GUYS

“All this time spent around gay men comes at a cost. When the firm, bass tones of masculinity command such a young woman, she will long for the shrill call of the homosexual. When asked by a heterosexual male to be the quiet but pleasant companion at business functions or family dinners out, the girl will rebel. This is a litmus test of just how far off course she has gone.”

5. SAME SEX DESIRES ARE PURPOSEFULLY BEING SPREAD FROM HUMANS TO THE ANIMAL KINGDOM

“Same-sex activity does not occur naturally in the wild world. It does happen, however, in caged environments like zoos or private homes, just like gang rapes in prison. Following the idea that pets seek rewards from their owners, there is a good possibility that rabbits are simply showing off for their voyeuristic homosexual masters. They hope to garner a treat by offering up a visible affirmation of a radical human lifestyle choice.”

6. THE RADICAL LIBERAL AGENDA OF EARLY TELEVISION SHOWS LURED MANY YOUNGSTERS INTO THE DARK WORLD OF PROMISCUITY

“It was only to be expected that our lonely boys exposed to these conflicted times would succumb to the nagging Golden Girls agenda. These were slender, unathletic children who were left out of the fun militarism of the Reagan years. The show lit a match which enflamed their intense physical urges. With the utmost cruelty and immorality, The Golden Girls seized upon this opportunity to cross the hormonal wires of America’s lost generation.”

7. GAY BARS OPERATE UNDER THE SAME PRINCIPLES AS MUSLIM TERRORIST CELLS

“America’s gay bars serve to falsely legitimate a notorious lifestyle choice. Across grimy pool tables and busy urinals, over cigarette ashtrays and fruity mixed drinks, the worst schemes to corrupt everything from traditional marriage to the age of consent laws are hatched by these relentlessly perverse plotters. They are all about sex. Sex all the time.”

8. TODAY’S YOUTH GENERATION IS USING SEX AS A WEAPON TO DESTROY AMERICAN VALUES

“The promiscuous sexuality of the twink population poses the gravest danger to the younger generation of Americans. These streetwalking libertines have been known to entice many confused and lonely boys into this lifestyle by making it seem ‘hip’ and ‘cool.’ The modus operandi of the twink is a highly sophisticated pantomime of flirtation. They can be aloof and disdainful one moment, and then suddenly seductive the next.”

9. HARDCORE SODOMY IS THE MOST COMMON WAY SAME-SEX ADHERENTS ACHIEVE GRATIFICATION

“Over time, the power bottom will come to be defined by his rectum. His anus will become a sort of personal occultic shrine, a thing he cares for constantly, pampering it with talc, deep cleaning its pipes and even whitening its ruddiness through medical procedures. He will spend night and day thinking of the reproductive organs of his past and future conquests, memorizing girth and length, curvature and angularity, foreskin and stamina.”

10. NEW YORK MAGAZINE IS A HOTBED OF SECRET HOMOSEXUAL PROPOGANDA

“Their coverage is so unprofessionally and flamboyantly biased it truly begs the question if this rag should arrive in one’s mailbox in a brown paper bag with parental advisories stickered all over. Or better yet, serve it up over a bartop with a complimentary junior-sized condom and a Farsi-English dictionary.”

11. THE FOULEST EXCESSES OF SEXUAL CONGRESS KNOWN TO MANKIND ARE HELD AMONG A HIGHLY EXCLUSIVE GROUP KNOWN AS THE “BEARS,” BUT THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA REFUSES TO INVESTIGATE THEM

“When darkness comes, these places become bestial, carnal paradises. These men will sneak off behind palm trees to unleash their wildest natures. Phalluses will be exposed with prideful beckonings. Windy shorelines below the starlight encourage like-minded vacationers to join the intense action. The murkiness allows for surprise sodomistic encounters. Animalistic roars cut through the noise of waves crashing. Broad leaves are plentiful to scrape clean the crusting remnants of a fruitful encounter, preparing the bear for the next cub who unwittingly wanders too close to his meaty paws.”

12. GLEE IS INTENTIONALLY RECRUITING CHILDREN TO THE WORLD OF HOMOSEXUALITY

“Instead of a real world high school, we have a fantasyland of happy, shirtless teens hanging out in the showers or dancing on million dollar stages. Why must the producers of this show have so many shots of the football team in the locker room? They’re constantly dropping their shorts and jumping into a steamy shower, showing off tight biceps or lathering themselves all over with a fresh bar of soap. Is this some crafty attempt to appeal to the homosexual segment of the show’s audience?”

13. RACHEL MADDOW IS A LIBERAL, A LESBIAN AND A LOUSY NEWSREADER

“She smirks and guffaws her way through every newscast with an ersatz humility. She is like a schmaltzy Catskills comedian, desperate for a few claps of pitying applause as we anxiously make our way to the bar. At the end of the night, we must acknowledge that she’s just as responsible for the flaccid tuna casserole of bad ideas as her bosses in the Obama administration who serve up the steaming plates of Biden talking points, bastardized health studies and blog posts from the perpetually unemployed. Liberals gorge themselves on this overpriced buffet meal with reckless abandon, blind to the fact that they’re genuinely putting the future of America at risk.”

14. CAT OWNERSHIP IS A SAD SUBSTITUTE FOR HEALTHY, CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS

“These are ungrateful and unresponsive animals that spend their days lazing around the house from one spot of sunlight to the next. They contribute very little to family life and tend to shun your attempts at friendship and training. Many an individual has come home to find their last roll of toilet paper mockingly destroyed by these little monsters. They practice a loud and proud promiscuity while discouraging their owners from forming their own real human relationships. Let them in the door and they will run your life.”

What are your thoughts on this list? Sound off below.

For the full article, check out ChristWire.org