The heat is on in the presidential campaigns in the United States with gay marriage and equal rights at the forefront of many topics of discussion at debates and primaries. It’s a fight and a battle we as an invisible minority have been struggling with for years. We are proud to say that Canada opened up its laws to allow for gay marriage in 2005. However, the fight isn’t over as recently, the government proved that some of those marriages proved invalid. We can’t become lazy, we also have to keep fighting to stay equal.
For years, marriage has been observed as something sacred. It’s how many of us were raised and what we saw in some of our own parents’ marriage. Dedication to one another. Teamwork. Relationships take a lot of work in building trust, learning to cope with one another and how to compromise in certain situations. No one ever said that a marriage was easy. In fighting for the right to marry our same-sex partners means we should respect what marriage stands for: in sickness and in health, till death to you part, right?
In reading the article posted by Daniel Vaillancourt for The Advocate, my jaw dropped when I read a staggering statistic in regards to gay relationships. 4 out of 5 gay couples are in open relationships. As I read that, I asked myself – in the fight for equal rights and gay marriage, is that what we’re fighting for? The article itself is titled A Gay Male Couple’s Guide To Nonmonogomy. At a time when we are fighting and struggling so hard to obtain equal rights – to be able to marry our partners, is this something we should be bringing to the forefront to allow our agressors to throw back in our faces?
If you and your partner/husband are in an open relationship, I am not judging you by any means. I have met a handful of open couples and for them, it works. It keeps their relationship/sex-life fresh. As one couple puts it in the Advocate article’s comments, “as two men, sex isn’t particularly emotional for either of us. That enables us to separate our love for one another from the occasional physical attraction we may have for another guy.”
For some couples who trust one another enough and have laid down some serious ground rules on when and where these outside hook-ups can take place, this may work for you. While others who commented on the article state that sex is something he and his partner do not share and opening up the relationship would destroy them. I am sure you’ve seen or heard of this situation happening. A couple brings in a third. One of the original men in the couple has strong feelings for the third who reciprocates them. Those two have a side relationship and end up breaking up the original couple. In the end, was it all worth the risk?
In opening up the relationship, you don’t only assume the risk of potential heartache and jealousy along the way, you open yourself up to the potential of exposing your partner or being exposed by your partner to STIs and the like. Can you also be sure that you’re 100% safe? Again, we go back to the question we posed earlier. Is this what we’re fighting for? Is this what we are showing Americans – that this is how we view partnership and marriage – as a convenient way to save on taxes but still live the single lifestyle on the side? Are we are practically handing the extreme right grenades with the pins already pulled just to throw back at us?
So we turn the tables to you – our faithful readers. What is your position on the open relationship in relation to the fight for equality and gay marriage? Do you think that it is right for us to be so openly discussing an obvious on-going practice OR should we opt out as a stand to try and earn the right to marry our same-sex partners. Is your relationship open or closed? Does it work for you or did it end in heartbreak? Lastly, is monogamy and the idea of being solely with your partner during your relationship dead? Sound off below. Be sure to check the full article at TheAdvocate.com and read all of the comments posted below their article.